My boyfriend broke up with me to find himself?

Me and my boyfriend met just under 3 years ago , we isntantly clicked. We have similar up bringing, we connected on every level intellectually, emotionality, mentally, physically. We were each others best friends , family , adventure buddies bascailly everything we could talk about everything and anything we could try anything new together. We traveled together. We just clicked soo well and connected. In the beginning he had told me he didn't really believe in marriages or long term relationships or such things so I said figure out what u want cause I can't dare you when that's what your thinking. Then he came back and said no he wanted what I wanted. 2.5 years later bought a house living together traveling , many joined accounts. Out of the blue one night he's like I don't want to be in a relationship , I don't know what I want I want to break up. Now he has never been alone always been dating since age 17 , I am 27 and he is 28. He said he had everything but he's not happy with his life, he said everyone around us knows what they want and he can't figure it out. He said he still loved me but he needed to figure himself out... I saw him few days ago after two weeks broken up. We talked about everything laughed and were like normal. I thought in my head how can you dispose of our great relationship when you can connect with me on so many levels? Why? A side note his parents have a terrible marriage and he thinks everyone ends up like them, he also grew up in a family that did not acknowledge nor accept emotions so he struggled with that , and the last piece is he binge drinks like crazy since he was 16 every weekend , and I guess now that he tried to slow down he has become super low. He said he wanted to figure that out. He left me to figure himself he has done nothing , and he wanted to do it alone yet making excuses , and still asking me for help. I just don't get y I am the disposable factor?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It was all a sham. He was a pretender.

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    • How can he pretend for that long that's brutal

    • Some can. He wanted it to work for him and thought he could make it work for him but in the end he had to admit he wasn't happy. DO NOT get in a fwb's relationship with him thinking he'll change and it'll go somewhere. It won't. This is over permanently and completely and you will not reconcile and ride off into the sunset together and live happily ever after nor will you remain friends even if he suggests or agrees to it. Just get on with your life. I'm really sorry

Most Helpful Girl

  • Are you guys still communicating and friends?

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    • Um not much we have joined accounts and a house communication mainly around that , I caved and did the friends with benefits last weekend it only made me feel more like shit now and I am. not doing that again also again made me realize how he is throwing it all away when it's soo good

    • I'm in a similar situation and I still fail to understand why mine is throwing away someone who truly loves him despite his flaws and something that is so good. It's a really shit situation to be in. Have you tried working it out with him?

    • Um there was none of that he came said we r done and nothing else does not think he can work on anything if he himself needs to work on himself , he said the grass isn't greener he needs to make sure the soil can harvest grass something like that haha , he bascially established he can't be with someone when he has no idea who he is and how to express emotion or if he doesn't love himself then how could he love someone else which all really makes sense ,... Sorry for you too it seriously sucks

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What Guys Said 2

  • sounds like he's afraid and pushing you away before he gets hurt

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  • Sorry that sucks

    Maybe he was having an affair and rather than do it behind your back

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