What strategies work to get an ex back?

My ex broke up with me, we were together for years and I really love him. We broke up due to a number of reasons argued a lot towards the end of it. I realised how immature I once was in the relationship. I have made a lot of positive changes in my life and decided that I do still want him. I've already tried everything but I realised I wasn't giving him space as I was afraid he would forget about me, now I stopped contacting him and will initate contact after a month. But what's the best thing to do?


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What Guys Said 2

  • I'm not one to go backwards in life, however if you are seeking to try rekindling, don't resort to strategies. It's like plotting or scheming. Be honest and open.

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    • I don't mean it like that.. I just meant the right thing to do. Well I'm always pretty honest and open with him. He's a complicated guy. What about after a month is saying 'hey can we talk' needy or sound bad

    • No, sounds alright. Your good.

    • or what about 'hey I was wondering if we could talk'
      I'm just so nervous about not getting a response, I wouldn't know what to do then..

  • Move on. Your past should stay in your past.

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    • There's much more to it than just a relationship angle. I'm talking about our friendship, that's most important to me even if we don't ever get back together

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    • He said that we could be apart of each other's lives/friends in the future but not anytime soon bc I stress him out but I got mad because I don't understand what the difference is between being it soon rather than later, it's unfair the way he treated me. You can't just walk in and out of someone's life as you please causing the other person utter devastation, I was heartbroken for months and picked myself back up and got on with it and become a better person and changed in many ways and dedicated my time on my studies and the gym. So when he said that I defended myself and wrote him a message saying you have to make a choice it's soon or never because I'm tired of waiting.. and usually I text him every week or so, so he doesn't take me seriously and for granted. I stopped texting him after that and haven't for a month and a half, I was going to apologise but didn't want to break no contact as I didn't know what else to do but I'm worried that he hates me even more from that text

    • See now again let your past be in your past. Or it will get really ugly

What Girls Said 1

  • Stop. He made his choice. Respect it. Regardless of where you are in own head about this, you're going to have to accept that he probably doesn't feel the same way. It's going to take a long time, if ever, for his wound to heal. Until then, he won't be interested in talking to you, because he will only see the woman that hurt him, even if you've changed. You've missed your chance to save the relationship you once had. All you can do now is move forward, and if it's meant to be, your paths will cross again.

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    • He cheated on me months ago and hurt me but it's gonna take time for his wounds to heal, yeah okay😂😂 i'm not the only one who has saving to do, I've done more than enough on my part. He's lucky to have someone that loves him as much as I do, and who is still trying despite all. I'm not perfect but neither is he. I have actually had time to work on myself, and change and become a better person

    • Nowhere in your question details does it say anything at all about this. It only states that you being insecure pushed him away, and further its implied that you were being insecure because you're childish.

      He cheated. If you take him back it will send a message that you're okay with this behavior because you're going back to him.

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