Please help my ex sent me this text and I don't know what to say?

I've been trying and trying to make amends, I took responsibility for my own actions and acknowledged those, and didn't make them again. He has been very bitter and mean, when he is equal responsible for the downfall of our relationship. After he broke up with me, I focused on myself and changed as I realised that I was wrong and was immature back then, I didn't change for him or with intention of getting him back, I changed for myself and my future. However I decided to reconnect with him and sincerly apologise and since then he's gave me a hard time and won't let go of the past and resents me. He just sent me this text- I can't flip a switch like a light and be like hey! Let's just totally forget about everything and put everything under the rug like it never happened. It's really silly that you would propose such an idea. That we haven't talked in months and you think you can waltz in here just bc you look different and think you think differently that I'm just gonna welcome you with open arms. I've heard this im different so many times I've heard it more than when I say I'm gonna quit smoking so like godammit you make me so mad


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What Guys Said 12

  • He could have put it in nicer words but he IS right. You can't just expect him to. forget everything that happened just because you changed. Once you hurt a guy, he MIGHT forgive you but he will never forget. and he will not the mistake of allowing you to hurt him ever again. at least thats how grown men think

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    • If was a grown man he wouldn't have cheated on me twice and disrespect me when I'm making this much effort. I forgave him and his mistakes were a lot more recent than mine, but he keeps holding onto the past which is not fair

    • It actually IS fair. If you cheated on or lied to me, you broke my trust. And that's never going to come back no matter how much you say you've changed. And by the way. Stop trying to play the victim. Your story is clearly one sided and you clearly did a lot more things to hurt him. Whatever actions followed after you broke his trust is his way of retaliating (cheating on you). I know that's not okay to do, but in all fairness, he probably wouldn't have cheated if you hadn't made big mistakes in the first place ;)

  • Why are you communicating with an ex? Do you really think you can reconcile and ride off into the sunset together and live happily ever after? Lmao. Do you think you can be friends with an ex? Roflmfao

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  • He's not the one.. Am happy you changed for you, so also change your view on relationships and move forward.. He's in the past and let him remain there, you don't need anything or anyone reminding you of what you left behind. The only way is forward.

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  • Just let him be? There are some things he has a harder time to overcome but that's nothing of your concern now. U apologized so your job is done. He doesn't want to be friends or anything

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  • "What to say" you ask? "FUCK YOU" comes to mind. You apologized and the letter speaks for itself. Just move forward.

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  • It's so hard to say if a relationship can be resurrected. I separated from my wife a year and a half ago and while I still love her I know that we can never be together again. The bitterness is real. We both made mistakes and resent the unhappiness we caused one another. I wish I could tell you to go ahead and try to work it out but my instincts say otherwise. Statistically "second tries"don't go well and that can lead to even more unhappiness. Please think hard before you act and let us all know how it goes. Good luck.

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  • Naw, it never works with an ex. You can't get that magic back. NEXT!

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  • Dont reply to him anything. Let him think why you are not replying at all. You apologized, you did your part. Wait until he message you again to apologize what he said. You do not make any move or text a single word until he message again. Consider its done and meanwhile you move on with your life.

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    • I was gonna text him saying this- I understand what you're trying to say however I made that clear from the start, I didn't expect you to welcome me with open arms and make me your girlfriend, just to be cool with each other. That was never my intention I know that these things take time, I know what I say to you has very little affect or value to your life, but those times you heard that was when I was the old me, I never fully understood or grew up UNTIL I had time apart from you and was able to reflect properly. Please understand that. I think you're misunderstanding me, I'm not asking you to make me your girlfriend, just to be friends. I won't interfere with your life, understand that. I just wanted a chance, when you're ready or with time.

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    • I just wanted to make this right, I didn't wanna lose something so important to me and I'm willing to do anything I can to make it work, but it's just he resents me and calls me mean stuff, I just want to be civil. We are adults, why can't we be mature enough to do that... I'm not perfect, I messed up and I hurt him too, but I learned from that and I grew up. Initially I didn't because I never had that time apart from him to realise and no matter what I do I'm not good enough

    • Give some time for him to think about you. He lost his mind now. You cannot fix it just today so trying to fix this today will not work out as you know he is right now not listening to what you are saying. Message him later when his mind is working straight. He should first feel what he said was wrong in order to at least to listen to your words. He went nuts. You have to allow sometime for him to cool down then let him feel sorry then only you can tell him what you are feeling. He has enought reasons to apologize to you. Dnt wry. When you are feeling ok, it will more easy to text him you want to say and make him understand.

  • What did you do that was so wrong?

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  • change your number move away

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  • wow you really hurt him or being really childess

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    • Well I lied to him and broke his trust and he cheated on me twice so we both hurt each other.. I just really wanted to make this right

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    • I'm sorry that I miss read the answer them so you told a couple of lies and he felt like he could cheat

    • I was accused of cheating one time because of the truck I drove the guy drove the same type of truck as me

What Girls Said 2

  • Your ex is under no obligation to forgive and forget. It is time to learn how to respect his decision and move on.

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  • You did your part if he doesn't except it that's on him , remember they are not called exes for no reason and by his response you have your answer

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