I broke up with my boyfriend even though I'm still madly in love with him because he's behaviour forced me to :/ I'm devastated I need help?

Ok im 17 so was my boyfriend. He was my first love. We were best friends for years and went out for 9 months. Anyways his parents are extreme religious with their views. His parents say they love god more than their kids or real human beings and that they are willing to give up any human for god. His mom stays home and raises kids while his dad works.. it's so extreme. Anyways they always tried to force the religion on him while we were going out and he always had fights with them over it and they would lock him out of the house and he told me that he hated the way they are and that he would never be like that but five days ago he turned crazy religious himself. He told me he loves god over me and he would die before picking me over his god and we can't be together if I don't believe in his god and I must love god over him and my parents and everyone. I don't know what happened to him but when he was talking he sounded like some prophet using the works salvation and that the only way to go to eternity is by loving god more than everyone and living by his rules of life ( woman staying at home raining kids while dad works, no drinking, no sex until marriage and no sex without contraception etc) I left him hoping maybe if I lwave he will change and be the way he was before? when I broke up yesterday he texted loads of people to tell me he hates me and texted me saying he hates me and never wants me to see me again and he came to my house and smashed all the gifts I got him against my door and put up on his instagram status " fell in love with a Fake " . I hope that leaving him might wake him up or will he always be like this now forever? He blocked me on everything and hates me now :/ I love him still, and he still loves me cos he texted one of my friends saying " the girl I love left me cos I love god more than her and that he is dying in pain " wtf? Why is he picking religion over me :( :( :( we were such a normal loving couple I'm so hurt


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What Guys Said 7

  • Sorry that happened to you. I think you made the right move, even though it's going to hurt for some time to come. Religious differences hurt many a relationship and marriage in the long run. Even if he comes around and realizes that he made a mistake, I would tread very carefully. He needs to show you that he's made a clean break with his family's extremism, by moving out at the very least. FYI, loving God above any human is what's taught by Islam, Judaism, and Christianity. It's just that, in practice, most believers aren't such nut jobs. I know it hurts. Sorry.

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  • im sorry that the hand your being dealt feels so rough. not going to lie to you im a pretty hardcore Christian and believe that loving GOD is more important than loving people but I've been in his shoes he cares about you but is frustrated if he's like me he's trying to fix himself (which doesn't work well) he's seeing what he can correct to be more like the person he follows... He's (I'm) not doing a good job we hurt some people we really care about and stumble but at the end of the day we are better for working at it. I expect he will apologize... if he's like me he will want to marry you (im talking about the girl I had a thing for me lol) he wants to care for you. he has rules that he has to follow that will teach him how to really take care of his future wife (be that you or someone else) ... if you got any question feel free to ask ill respond within 3 days (if not earlier)

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  • this kinda sounds like a horror movie. but i honestly think you took a brave descission! not a lot of people would take the short pain over the longer pain (they don't always see IT like that). he definatelly lost his mind over something. Will have to do with his homesituation. maybe hus parents drive him over his Breaking point? i would talk to someone if possible and/or anonymously report IT to someone if possible. but sadly to say, you'll need to get over it :/. but don't worry, IT all seems bad and hard now but There is a Bright light at the end of the tunnel, with probably a better Guy waiting for you There :) you'll survive!! in the worst case, listen to Gloria gaynor-i Will survive. helps everytime! :)

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  • wow that is extreme, his families ways have obviously got to him over time - i think you have had a lucky escape! being with someobe like that would be my worst nightmare.. at least you were brave enough to end it

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  • Sorry to hear that... I Hope chocolate can help a bit :) but if you wanna talk about this, pm me. The explanation isn't short.

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  • it sounds like you need to give him some room for a while and do yourself a favor don't close yourself off to everyone go out have a date see somebody because if you are to be with him it will happen but if he's just a chapter in your life then it will be finished,, now I'm not saying to go out and have sex with a bunch of people just go out on a date don't think about him think about the person you're with on the date and just have fun maybe just maybe he will come to you but honestly it sounds like he's been brainwashed to leave one night and be normal come back the next day and be whacked in the head like that yeah there's something up with that I just don't know what,, just my opinion

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  • people don't really "change".. they just sort of "adapt".. they adapt to CHANGE

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What Girls Said 2

  • I didn't read through the whole thing. But just read first few sentences and in conclusion you are going through a breakup. Grieve, and move on. It will be hard but you can do it. No time to sit around complaining you have to keep moving and working on yourself.

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  • He sounds pretty extreme and has flawed theology and philosophy most definitely not a true Christian, I'm a Christian and I believe that seeking God and putting him first is important however, Jesus came and died for each and every human being whether or not they choose to love him and believe in him, we as Christians are called to love others as Jesus loved us, even with our sin and imperfection, it sounds like he doesn't know what true love real is or looks like, we aren't demanded to obey all the "rules" even though we called to change certain things once we claim to believe, it's not about following the rules its about having a relationship with God and leading others to him 'm sorry that he hurt you and said all of those stupid things, I don't know if he will see his mistake but I hope you heal from this and find the truth, and I really wish there weren't people like this trashing Christianity by there flawed thinking only to make true believers appear like a bunch of bible thumping psychos or dumbass cultists

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