He wants to break up because he says I deserve better, what do I do?

while having a late night conversation over text with my boyfriend, he asked me to tell him the reasons of why I liked him and I was okay with it because it always ends nicely. this one particular night I told him I was jealous about something and he told me that if I really trusted him I shouldn't get jealous because I should know he loves me and he would never cheat on me. and honestly I trust him because we've been together for a year & he really understands me unlike anyone else I know. he later asks me why I get jealous, so I tell him that sometimes I feel like one day he's mines but then when I wake up the next day he'll be gone. he reassured me that he loved me and that it would never happen. he knows how much I love him and how much he means to me. but a day or so later he says he wants to break up because he says I deserve better. he's always saying he treats me badly and he's an ass towards me and that he makes me sad, but I don't think so. I love being with him and he gives me this uncontrollable feeling every time I'm with him. we talked and he says he wants me to make the decision to stay together or not and that he wants my happiness and that nothing else matters. I'd want to stay together but then again I don't want everything to be because of me, I don't want him to regret staying with me this time, in the future. I told him that I want him to make the decision and that I'll go along with his choice and not say anything about it. so he asked for a day to think about it and I've given him that day. so I'm just waiting for tomorrow to come.. but I'm still afraid he'd want to break up but I won't be able to do anything about it.


btw, he says he doesn't want to break up, and he does like me, but its for the better, for me.


can you give me some advice?

 

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  • I feel like there are some missing pieces here. Why is there all this talk of breaking up? Is this the first time it's been mentioned? We'd have to know your complete relationship history to get a better understanding of what's going on.


    For example, if your boyfriend often has these sorts of mood swings where he feels like you're too good for him then it could be a sign of an underlying problem such as depression. Or, it could simply be he's not very confident in himself and needs constant reminders from you. That's something you can probably determine by examining your relationship.


    Conversely, if this "not good enough" attitude is something recent then there may be an event that triggered it. I'm not saying he's cheated on you, but infidelity can cause this kind of behaviour. It's also the way some people end relationships. They are afraid to confront the person and end the relationship so instead they try to sabotage it or use a variation of the "it's not you, it's me" excuse (which is essentially what he's saying when he tells you that you deserve better).

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