Cheating on your girlfriend?

Is it possible for a guy to cheat on his girlfriend several times and then get back with her and be faithful? Or is a cheater always a cheater, especially if its on the same girl? Is there something missing in that particular girl that makes a guy cheat on her, like she's not enough and he needs more and its permanently like that? Or can he be with her again and suddenly be faithful?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think so yes. I think things can change.

    I view cheating though, not so much the fault of the cheater, but more the fault of the person being cheated on. Why would they cheat on you in the first place?

    I've never cheated by the way, but I've been with a girl that plain outright cheated on her boyfriend. And I feel bad, but he treated her like crap. Gave her a good reason to do so, If he would just listen to her, she'd have no reason to get closer to me, because I simply would listen to the problems she had in her life. He wouldn't do that. So who's fault is it ultimately?

    • That is a very specific situation. Cheating comes in all shapes and colors. Some women cheat on their husbands because they only want him for the security he provides. Meanwhile.. they get off doing dirty wrong things with other people behind their backs because its a huge turn on. THe danger.. the fear of getting caught.. the thrill... It's an intoxicating chemical cocktail that's hard to resist once you've got it pumping through your blood.

    • It is still the cheaters fault. If I was in a relationship with a jerk, I would talk ro him first about his behavior and if it doesn't work, I would dump him and cheating would not be necessary.

    • I don't think wrong-doing can be made right with this kind of explanation, especially with this kind of scenerio where devil got sent to be with devil. We should try to help giving a moral suggestion under the assumption that there is one good heart in the story that needs to be healed.

What Guys Said 23

  • Stay as far away from him as you can, or don't ever dare complain when it happens again. Brace yourself and move on.

  • A: he needs to want not to cheat

    B: the relationship needs to be different. How it was is not working.

    C: part of B ... they probably need better communication. If he can't tell her when he's feeling whatever the trigger to cheat was, they can't work together to deal with it.

  • it can happen and has but its rare . it takes both working on the relationship to make it work . if one slacks off or stops trying that's were the problems come in.

  • Yes it is possible for a guy to cheat on his girlfriend and then be faithful. In fact the vast majority of long term relationships have had one, or both, people cheat at some point.

    The issue is really how it's perceived within the relationship. What was the reason for doing it? How did he feel after it? Who did he cheat with?

    These are all questions you would need honest answers to before deciding whether or not it's worth putting the effort in to the relationship. Unfortunately all cheating can be avoided if you are both open and honest with each other in the first place.

    If he has cheated because you're not providing something for him, for men it's usually the feeling that you want him, then he should have talked about this with you before hand and you would be obliged to respond to his feelings. If you can make him feel like you want him, then he wouldn't go looking elsewhere. The same applies for women who are lacking something at home, if they tell their man, he is obliged to respond. Assuming they do the problem is solved before it becomes an irreversible one.

  • Several times is a bit rough? One time, yeah that can be forgiven but doing it again is completely just not cool. While I do think it is possible for him to be faithful again I don't think it's good to be with that kind of guy. Even if he is faithful. I think in most cases where guys cheat is either because they're drunk or they're tempted by other girls who couldn't give a f*** about whether he's in a relationship. Guys like that are not worth it.

  • Well princess, if he knows he can get away with it he will keep doing it.

    The big question you can answer yourself is"Is he really worth it" and why am I in love with a bloke who's treats you like manure. Do you have a history together, if so, talk to him about it find out why.

    People( both men and women ) cheat because off all sorts of reasons, usually it's because their different people who have not been honest with themselves or their partners, and go off knowing that it will be all right because they love them and everything will be ok.

    In short...get rid of the guy, I'm sure you're a high quality woman who needs her standards met, and don't say sorry if you do because the real reason he cheated, is because he knows he's pathetic!

    Hope it works out for you Princess

  • A cheater is always a cheater.

    Think about it. He cheated on you for a reason. Most likely he was bored, and something about secretly hooking up with someone is thrilling to him. So he will continue to do so. And when you take him back he thinks "Well she didn't think it was that big of a deal so I am going to do it again and push the limits."

    If you get back with him, and you get hurt, you deserved it.

    • So even if he loves her and regrets he cheated and cut contact with the girl he cheated on her with, he will still cheat on her again? Even if it means he might loose her again?

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    • Well speaking as the girl he cheated on the girlfriend with, yes, he will continue. I was tricked into falling for my ex again, without knowing he had a girlfriend. Once I found out, he cut me out of his life in any way, in order to keep his girlfriend around. She probably believes it was a mistake and now that I'm gone he'll stop. Nope! He was also cheating on her with other girls too so don't believe him. A simple kiss when drunk is excusable. Multiple times? He's doing it on purpose.

    • My ex cheated on me 3 times and no I havnt done anything bad to him just good and good!anyways he always begged me bk and swear he's changed and never do it again bt every time I strt trusting him fully again he starts cheating again.So?once a cheater always a cheater.

  • "Or is a cheater always a cheater..."


    "...especially if its on the same girl?"

    Double yes.

    Cheaters CAN change, but the thing is they have to want to change. And that's the thing...they never do.

  • Cheaters cheat.

    Anything's possible, but the smart money goes on the likelihood that he'll cheat until some outside factor comes into play to prevent him from continuing to do so.

  • I suppose it could be possible. Personally I wouldn't really be expecting to be given the chance to prove I could change if that was what I'd been up to.

    If you love someone that will be enough.

  • friend of mine cheats on his girlfriend all the time. and yet she always goes back to him because she thinks "he'll change". last time it happened, she came to me for help and I tried to but she just simply went back to him and yelled at me. I like my friend and all but he really needs to stop dating her if he's just gonna keep cheating on her

  • two type of cheaters-

    1-cheater for life

    2-good guy who is just confused on what he wants (cheats once or twice in his entire life, only with one other girl)

    which one you have, is hard to tell. problem is that you can't find out yourself. you will need someone else to look at your situation, someone who can stay neutral. you yourself, will have a bias point of view. consider counselling.

  • Guys are visual and when they see the same thing over and over again. they get bored. Like pr0n... guys watch different videos (or change back once in a while)...

    Cheating (IMHO) is making oneself unable to commit. Surely, the benefits are other girls for sex and getting "fresh air." The downside is the feelings of commitment and understanding dies out.

  • Once a cheater always a cheater. To hell with anyone who cheats (guy or girl).

  • I girl I know was cheated on with 17 different girls before she broke up with her ex-bf. There was a time when she just accepted it. That's how far some guys can go.

  • 3 types of cheaters:

    type 1: cheats and regrets it and never does it again.

    type 2: cheats, may or may not feel bad, but will seem to feel bad either way. then will keep on cheating out of insecurity.

    type 3: will cheat and like it, pretend to regret it and promise to never do it again, then will do it again.

    i learned about type 3 on this site; there's people who get a kick out of cheating and being forgiven so they can cheat again.

  • Not really, once you cheat on someone its most likely going to happen again. I would think this would make a good country song someday.

  • When it comes down to it, cheating WILL mess up your relationship. Trust WILL get effect and I'm a believe once a cheater always a cheater. The worst part about cheating is, lets say your partner is faithful again... all this 'what ifs" will come back to haunt you. So most likely by the "self-fulfilling prophesy rule in psychology) Your mistrust or what ifs could lead them to cheating because now your both in a mistrusting relationship. Don't waste your time on a cheater, there really are much better people who can treat you right.

    (only exception to this is swingers, but there a different bread of people and they don't see partner switches as cheating) ha

  • get back with him then bang his friends show him whos boss

  • Rule number 1: Anything is possible!

    Here is your idea of a conundrum. We have this guy that's not faithful but you want to be with him!

    But if you weren't faithful them you shouldn't even be asking this question. Anyway, when asking if a guy can be faithful again its like asking someone to change, unless there is a significant life treating or changing reason to do so its not gonna happen easily. Bottom line people don't change unless they have too.

    Here is my opinion.

    End the relationship and find someone else. unless there are kids involved then its your fault for not paying attention to what was going on in the relationship.

  • anythings possible!

  • Classic girl mistake, blaming the girlfriend for the boyfriend's actions.

    I see cheating one time as a mistake, cheating multiple times as a conscious and deliberate action. I would not trust the guy because he clearly felt justified in cheating multiple times meaning he will likely do it again at some point in time. Doesn't matter what the reason is for his cheating, if he can convince himself it was okay he will do it again.


What Girls Said 13

  • Ok, there is so much to address here, but #1 is 'Is there something missing in that particular girl'

    ... Cheating is not the partner's fault. If it is merely a dating relationship, there is no excuse for being unfaithful. If he needs something that is not being provided in the relationship, he either needs to leave or talk to his girlfriend about the issue. Cheating 'because she's not enough' is complete bullsh*t.

    #2 is the repeat offender. No, it's not possible. Whether it's tomorrow, next month, next year, or five years from now (though I'm betting on the faster horses in this race), he's going to cheat. It's not because his girlfriend isn't fulfilling his needs. It's because he's a habitual cheater.

    #3 Cheating rule: If he's cheated twice, there's not salvaging the relationship. End of story, no more questions. Once is a mistake he can regret. Twice is intentional and disrespectful beyond all forgiveness. A man that continually cheats thinks little of the women he's attached to and considers her simply something for his own convenience, not a person on her own merit.

    To quote Einstein, 'The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.' He's not going to suddenly change.

    Of course, if you want the Rom-com version: Oh, yeah, he'll totally have some life-changing experience this time that will change him forever! *throws glitter in the air*

  • personally I wouldn't ever get back with someone who only cheated once. So I defo wouldn't get back with someone who cheats on me over and over. What's more and I am sorry to say this, but it sounds like he can't stop himself, and you'll never be sure, which means there is no trust and a relationship can't work without trust. If this girlfriend of his turned her back and tell him no way, my guess he'd do one of two things, either, he'll be right damn annoyed and wished he'd never strayed cause he's lost the best thing in his life, or he'll fade out because he never really cared in the first place. Harsh truth, sorry.

  • I don't think I could ever forgive a cheater, there are no mistakes, only actions we regrettably have to take credit for.

    Maybe, just maybe I could forgive him for one discrepancy, but even that would take years.

    Several times? Not a chance, I would never be able to trust him, never feel secure and I would be so disgusted with him that all attraction would be lost completely.

  • I don't think there's one straight answer to this. Different guys cheat for different reasons. If a man cheats because of an inadequacy he feels about himself, he will probably continue to cheat until he resolves his own internal issues. If he cheats because he feels trapped in the relationship, he may stop once he and his girlfriend have talked about their relationship and he feels more secure with his decision to stay. There's really no telling.

  • ... Anything's possible, just highly unlikely.

  • she's not enough? I think there's a term for that 'permissible polygamy'

    i would not get back with any guy if he says he needs other girls to fullfill his needs. just unhygeinic to myself, that would be how I feel personally about that situation.

  • my mom always says fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me. He WILL do it again, once a cheater always a cheater. I should know from expierence I've cheated on a lot of guys and I'm telling you there is nothing stopping him from doing it again. If he cheated on you in the first place it wasn't meant to be, you'll find someone who is worth your time and energy that will love you for real and care for you more than he ever could! It has nothing to do with the woman either, it is that man, he just needs thrill in his life and being settled with any woman won't give him that. He will never be faithful! He won't ever change. But you can change your choice and choose to be with someone who is worthy of you! Good Lucky to you, for I know how it feels to be on either end of this story!

    • AGREE ;) I have never cheated and was SOOO against it... And then he cheated on me, so I went and cheated on him and left his ass! And, now that were working things out again... I plan on cheating again... He shouldn't have f***ed up in the first place, he lost my trust and plus after cheating once I realized how much better the sex is and I have a f*** buddy yet always make excuses to him why I don't want sex... but sex is great with the only other guy I been with, but I want to stay with my

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    • thats hard too having a child with someone. My mother was with my bio father for a very long time. He cheated on her and treated her like crap but the only reason she stayed was because I was in the world. When I was two years old he sent me and my mom on a plane out here to cali with my grandma. More on my point, a child is never a good reason to stay with someone. And no matter how much it hurts now things will get worse if you stay. The choice is entirely up to you I won't say I'm trying to

    • change your mind but I'm letting you know from expierence through parents it never works out. cheating or staying with them for the kids. my mom tried it three times and each time it failed. I wish you the best of luck, you'll need it with whatever you choose to do!

  • no once a cheat always a cheat, if he's done it once before he it more than likely to go behind you back again sweety.

    Every man has heard that the best way to get a woman to stop having sex with him is by marrying her. Apparently, long-term relationships seem to suck the sex drive out of many women, leaving men gasping for fulfillment. With the need for more sex, some men will start "working late" more often.

    Or it could just be that the sex has become boring. She doesn't want to try new things in bed, or won't perform fellatio. Some men may cheat because they don't want their girlfriends or wives to perform certain sex acts that would ruin their "good girl" image, so they get a mistress to take care of it. Like Robert de Niro said in Analyze This , "That's the mouth she kisses my kids good night with!"

    In light of this, I call on lawmakers around the world to create an International BJ Day, where men and women get the day off from work and get all the oral satisfaction they need from their partners. I'll bet that this alone would cut infidelity by at least 75%.

  • If a guy ever cheated on em - he would be straight out the door, with a kick up th ass ! You don't need a guy like that

  • dont trust a cheater

  • It really dependson the person. My current boyfriend has cheated on a girlfriend before but when he saw how much it destroyed his girlfriend when she found out, he swore he'd never do it again and I trst him, because I've been through the same thing when I cheated on my ex. It depends what type of a person he is, and you'll know that better than me! There are some people who just don't care how there actions affect others, and if he's one of those, and easily tempted, then he probably will do it again. If he does cheat on you, then you'll know he hasn't grown up in the slightest and don't be blind and degrade yourself by going back to him and giving him a second chance. I'm sure you know women who let their men mess them around and they get nothing but pitiful looks for being so weak so be strong :) x

  • Cheating while being with the gf? this is disrespectful and they shouldn't be together. But cheating in a relationship and then get into another one, will he cheat? might do or might not.

  • I think it is a sign that something is missing in you, not your partner. Regardless you need to figure out what is missing and then you will have your answer. Some people are just cheaters. I think it can be tied more to the ego boost of having someone want to sleep with you. I have definitely seen that personality type where each sexual conquest is an affirmation to that person that they are desirable to others and they feed off of that like a drug addict feeds off of their next fix.

    • Whoops, answered in response to the person cheating. You get the idea however. If a guy keeps cheating on you I would avoid him like the plague. If you were the cheater who was trying to stop, well I would explore why you were doing it. But, you cannot force an ex to do that.