Ex apologized to me, what should I do?

my ex just left a letter on my doorstep saying:

"It’s been awhile since we’ve talked, and I can only say it’s my fault for that. You’ve been on my mind, to be honest, and it hurts to see how I left our past relationship. Not as much as it must have been hurting you though and that’s what I’m so angry at myself for. I’m so sorry, Sara, for hurting you and leaving it the way I did. You deserve so much better than how I treated you, and I know I don’t deserve for you to accept an apology but I just don’t want for it to be the way it’s been between us. I acted like a child and you deserve a man, I hope that one day you may forgive me and we may work to make things right between us."

my friend says to wait a day but what do I do after that? call him. go to his house. and what do I say? I need help. please!

so I accepted his apology and he came to my house to talk about it. when he left he gave me a 20 second hig which was great! but when I went over to his house last night to borrow music, he acted completely different because he was with friends I didn't know and when he walked me to my car he almost left without giving me a hug. once I asked for one, it was such a crappy hug. like one you would give a stranger. what is up with him? and what should I do next?

P.S. I still have his cd case and
he would text me when he would be home so I could drop them off at his house.
i've finally decided to just play hard to get. I'm done playing these guessing games since he's being so confusing.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Call him. Definitely phone this one first.

    • what do I say? or at least talk about?

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    • when should I do it? should I wait a day or right in the morning?

    • Those are bizarre options. Just call him when it's good for you.

What Guys Said 8

  • He said you deserve a man, yet he isn't acting like one in front of his friends. Apologies don't make that any better. If he's claiming to be a man, his apology and regard for you should take precedence over his image to these friends.

    His actions in front of these friends were very childish. Also, if he gave you a weak hug that second time and no one was around to see it, what the heck? That's pretty weak. I think you should heed his word and look for a real man.

  • You can just call him up and start a casual conversation ..

    You can just say Hi , What's up kinda things ..

    And eventually get on to the main issue ..

    It all depends on you if you wanna get back with him or no

  • Sounds like he's embarrassed to do that sort of thing in front of his friends. Kinda like how a child would act, not a man.

    • but he didn't hug me in front of his friends. we were alone in the street

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    • It won't accomplish anything. Probably only cause more issues.

    • then what should I do? and I do want to be friends with him again. maybe even date down the line.

  • he sounds honest, I say call him if you want. you do want to make things right? if so then talk to him and try to work things out. it's kinda giving me the feeling of talking to my ex again haha, she dumped me but I was angry and haven't spoke to her since. anyways! talk to him and see what happens :)

  • I believe that you already posted something similar to this question. Did he not do or say some immature stuff later on in front of his friends or something?

    • yea sorry for the re-post. it's just that no one was helping me. and plus this is revised

      i don't really understand the question

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    • i like this idea. ha ha thanks!

    • you are very welcome!

  • hmm on second thought he sounds kinda immature. maybe moving on is best if you cannot be respected in front of his friends

    • he wasn't in front of his friends when hugged me last night. we were alone in the street

  • Talking face to face is best. He sounds like he has a sweet and sincere soul. Give him a chance but at first keep some bounderies and afterward if you work things out stay hard on your limits and bounderies with any childish ways or tantrums. Men need love and they also need a good woman to help them stay goal orientated and morally grounded. There is no reason to wait a day or an hour. Talkl to him now and if it cannot be in person than do it on the phone. Good luck to you


What Girls Said 5

  • He's embarrassed because he had to admit that he was stupid but he doesn't want anyone to know because they will probably make fun of him. It's a guy thing.

    • well he didn't hug me if front of his friends so I don't see the problem for him. how he is someone completely different when he's with me and then his friends. he wasn't like that when we were together. but that was before he started hanging out with a new crowd.

    • My ex does that, too. He's so great to me when no one is around and not when people are around because he will look stupid being so affectionate towards me after doing what he did.

  • He doesn't wanna get back togeather, he just didn't want you to hold a grudge against him. His actions are showing you again that he's still a boy and not a man

  • Aw that's so sweet of him its rare for guys to apologigize for their actions and mean it he means what he says I can tell :D lucky you talk to him but don't forget what he did and don't forgive him

    Be very careful with him he did hurt you. Talk to him ask him why he waited so

    long to give you the letter talk about the letter but don't act like you want him back right away because he will think your forgiving him I might sound mean but you have to protect your self he can't just walk in and out of your life and then expect to get back in again I have learned the hard way I almost gave a guy a 3rd chance but he wasent worth a 3rd chance I found out about another girl on the other hand he could be tarible at being in a relashionship but he may be a good friend to you but you never know

    • well he actually came to my house to talk about it and I accepted his apology because I don't hold grudges. well he left he gave like a 20 sec hug! it was great but when I went over to his house last night to borrow music, he acted completely different because he was with friends I didn't know and when he walked me to my car he almost left without giving me a hug. once I asked for one, it was such a crappy hug. like one you would give a stranger. what is up with him? and what should I do next?

    • backit sounds like he is being an ass once again just leave him don't except him again into your life just walk away don't look back he is an ass that's what is wrong with him and he will never change

  • I'm assuming he ended it? how long ago did your relationship end?

    • yea. 4 months ago. but it only lasted a month

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    • does the letter give you the impression that he wants a second chance with me? and he was just going through a lot in his life at the time. trust me I have thought about reasons for our breakup many many times.

    • it sounds like he's trying to open the door to the possibility but he knows that it won't be easy. Don't know what happened when you guys ended but obviously he was an ass by the way he's apologizing about it. If you want to forgive him you should do it and be friendly with him again, it sounds to me like he thinks his behavior closed the door on anything romantic but that he wants to try to be friends because he doesn't think you'll want anything more.

  • He sounds honest :)

    But I don't recommend that you call/text right away. Give it a week or so. During this week, organize your thoughts about what you really want to tell him. Write your thoughts on a piece of paper. See what ruined your relationship and the stuff you didn't like about him & ..You too.

    I don't want you to jump into love again because he left you a very nice letter..even if he means it. Be rational about it because, honestly, if things were great that much...why would you break-up in the first place.

    After the week passes, call him and be nice. Tell him that you wish to talk through stuff. Meet up with him & talk :) Good luck!