No contact after breakup?

Rule number one: NO CONTACT AFTER BREAK UP. why can't I seem to do this?

My boyfriend and I broke up a few weeks ago, and we both kinda agreed no contact for a long time would be the best idea. Well more like he decided that. I just for some reason keep breaking the rule?!?! I've texted him, always a reason I feel is appropriate. and last night I did the WORST thing anyone could do. I was about to hook up with this guy, and I just couldn't cause I'm still so deeply in love with my ex. I felt like I needed to make sure he was okay and that it wouldn't hurt him if I did. So I FREAKING CALLED HIM. Ps, I was drunk. and I ASK HIM PRETTY MUCH IF ITS OK?! like DUH. god I'm an idiot. It ended on a bad note and he got really pissed off. I don't blame him.

This morning I called him and left a message apologizing. He called me right back and we had a long talk. aaaah

I just can't handle it anymore. I miss him so freaking much, but I know its time to get over it. I just find myself always wanting to call him or talk to him or something.

what do I do with myself?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Start hanging out with some new guys, talk to a friend, read sappy romance novels (im telling you they are the one thing that will get you through it.) Reading about other peoples relationship success will make you feel better. They basically get me through everything. Make yourself too busy to think about your ex. Avoid all contact with the guy though. He is right. Time and distance cure everything. It hurts a lot at first, but after a while you won't think about him anymore. It takes me forever to get over guys.2 years was the longest it took.

    You guys can only be friends again if and when neither of you have any feelings at all for each other. You can't just start being friends if one person is only doing it in hopes of getting back together.


What Guys Said 2

  • I agree completely with the anonymous answer. You should either type it in an email or better yet write it down on paper! You will be surprised out how much this actually helps. It allows you to get your thoughts out of your head and onto paper. This way you can think more clearly. If you can't sleep because of the problem then keep a pad by your bed and if you wake up dreaming about something write down your thoughts. Never send any of this to him. Keep it for yourself and use it as a tool and resource for learning who you are in the future.

  • baby its jus because you have residue feelings for him that's all.its normal to do such things.rules are meant to be broken and we're humans not automatons which follows rules to the letter.anyway you calling him to ask him if its ok if ur hooking up with another guy is a slap in the face for ur ex LOL.


What Girls Said 9

  • First Delete his number. that way you won't be feel the urge to call him. I know your probably have the number memorized but trying to remember that number drunk will be hard. - this will help with those drunk calls. LOL.

    Once the number is gone then hopefully you will forget it completely.

    The next time you feel like calling him or texting and txt someone else.

    Its hard. it going to time awhile.

    But if he doesn't want to be in a relationship then there not much you can do bout it other then move on.

  • Just stop calling him. I know it seems hard, but you need to preserve your dignity and rise above this. It will get easier with time, especially if you stop contacting him asap.

  • start a diary. go to or use your myspace if you have one (livejournal is better though then nobody can see if you wrote something). Say what you loved, say what you hate, say what you missed and don't miss. If you found yourself thinking things you thought before read your diary. You'll help yourself get over him and in a way you'll feel like you have talked to him cause you got all you wanted to say out.

    after you got all that out think of things you want to do in your life or YOU want to change. It's easier to work things out that only YOU can change and not stress on something that takes two.

    You'll gain more confience in yourself and look for what you deserve and what you feel you need. That away if this ever happens again rather with him or someone else you'll know what to do next time.

  • I'm a Christian, but no matter what religion you are or aren't, prayer and fasting is really helping me... funny how similar the feelings will be when you go all raw, or do a few days on juice. It really helps break the "power" of addiction, including a love addiction. Praying during this time increases your connection to the true source of love, God.

  • I Feel The Same :-| Don't Contact Him Like I Done, He Will End Up Getting Really Pissed Of And Not Talk To You Again :-| It Will Fade After A While Hun x Good Luck :-)

  • This is what you do, you respect your ex's decision to cut off contact and find other things to do to occupy your time. Get back in touch with old friends, go out, go shopping. anything you have to, and keep your phone at home if you have to keep yourself from texting him.

    My ex broke up with me 3 months ago and I told him I needed a period of no contact to move on. He respected that, and for me it was one of the hardest things to do. But after one week, I felt stronger and more in control and after 2 weeks, he was emailing, calling and messaging me. It drove him crazy not knowing what I was doing and now he is chasing me :)

    So, every time you think about texting your ex, don't. just think about how crazy it will make him not being able to see or hear from you everyday like he used to.

  • I was the same way. it fades after a while you just have to stop yourself and purge him from your life for a while other wise you'll never get over him.

  • Everytime you want to talk to him, you should pretend you're writing it all out in an email to him. But then don't send the email. Keep the email(s) and make a journal out of it of everything you want to say to him-- angry things, sad things, happy things, etc. I did that and it totally helped and now I'm so good at not contacting my ex!