Signs he's going to break up?

My boyfriend of 3 yrs has stopped coming over every night and calling every day. He usually wants to hang out with his friends and when we do talk, it's never about anything important. We don't laugh like we used to and we only have sex once a week or so. What gives? Is he about to break up with me?


Most Helpful Girl

  • After three years it is natural to not be like you were at the beginning of the relationship. Its a part of being comfortable. So, I wouldn't be too worried about it.

    However, in my past 2 relationships there was a point where I knew something was up. I had this gut feeling. My gut feeling was always right. Talk to him. Only one of three things can happen. He will be receptive and open to what you have to say and change, he will just assure you that everything is fine(he may or may not change), or he will tell you that it isn't working. In any of these cases, you will be fine.


What Experts Said

  • 5|3

What Guys Said 3

  • As a relationship progresses you feel the need for freedom sometimes, a so-called change of scene. You might want to give him that space, and see if that perks his interest. I know that when I'm in a relationship and the girl don't call me, I'm inclined to call her.

    All relationships go through this phase, and he may be wanting more. You also need to prepare for the worse, and try to think of ways to close the relationship yourself. It may help when it comes "time to discuss."

  • He will become distant, maybe even start to ignore you and your calls.

  • Sorry, but it sounds like the usual pattern. here is an analogy, you don't quit a job until you have found another one right? same concept, you are being kept around until something else comes along. you need to talk about it if you have been together for 3 years, hope for the best & prepare for the worst.

    • Chill, he won't dump you, his friends probably want him to hang out with them more. he won't dump you. 3 years is too much to just stop.

    • I agree With Chillaxitwnthappen here

What Girls Said 16

  • Hi Girl,

    Well I think that you know a breakup is coming if your boyfriend starts to act differently than how he usually does.

    If you find that he is spending more time doing things that he enjoys, hanging out with him friends or emersing himself in another part of his life, then yes I think that he trying to avoid or, or feels that the relationship no longer feeds his needs.

    I think that the best way to solve this problem is through communication. Tell him how you feel .. without all the screaming, name calling and door slamming. Be honest and let him know that if he isn't happy that he has the right to leave.

    sometimes relationships after a while can become a little stale, if the relationship isn't growing then the people in it need to look elsewhere. Figure out what you want out of it and talk to him

    All the best with it

    Hot Alpha Female

  • Stops calling, stops coming over, stops caring, stops getting happy or mad. when he's just even and blah blah then something is up.

  • I'm sorry but it sounds like my relationship I just ended. my ex did the same thing to me. he is either cheating, wants to break up with you, or found someone else and does not want to hurt you. I'm so sorry to answer your question with bad news.

  • honestly I've been thru this...ALL you need Is a Spice in ur life...

    u 2 need a vacation together :)

    even as simple as a he's gonna get to stare at you ALL Day and think about how much he loves u

  • Ask him is he being true to you and do he wanna be with you still, ask him "why don't we do the things we do anymore?" let him know how you feel maybe he'll realize what he's doing...

  • It could be or it could be growing pains. The key is to talk to him. Respect if he wants more space but still wants to be together. In the meantime hang out with friends to take up the time you used to spend together!

  • idk! mines is doing the EXACT same thing...what to do?

  • my boyfriend is going through rough times and its about family I guess

    but he said if I don't want to deal with it break up with him what do I do

  • with my boyfriend he actually did break up with me, we have broken up 3 times total now and gotten back together every time, he needed space. I saw him EVERY day ALL day, and it kind of killed the romance. Maybe that's whats going on. I hope so for you!!

  • My boyfriend told me last night that if someone else came my way and wanted to get married and have kids now, that he wouldn't mind and that he wouldn't hold me back, but that's not what I want right now, that's in my five year plan. He didn't say he wanted to break up with me, but I am confused. Please help!

  • well look at it this way maybe he sees you to much and he needs a break. but that's probally all it is. go with the flow or if you really want to know sit down and talk becasue a relationship is about communication so just try to talk with him.

  • he holds his emotions back and he is very secretive.

  • We aren't really dating because he still loves his ex but we act like we are dating.Now he barley calls me and he doesn't hardley ever come to my house anymore.He would most likeley defend his ex over me.He says he loves us both the same but he doesn't know who he cares about more.and he was having sex with his ex all along and I just found out and he acts like there's nothing wrong with it.

  • My ex did the same thing to me, and to be honest I put up with it for a good couple of months, until it clicked one day that I at least deserved an explanation as to why everything had changed so much. He couldn't offer one to me, so I took a huge step and ended the relationship, it wasn't the lack of time he spent around me that was wrong, it was the lack of caring. A few days later he begged for me back because he missed having me in his life, by then, I had decided not to go back. It was the best decision I've made. I gained self-respect and stopped waiting around for someone that only cared when he couldn't have me.

  • It is very bad and sad.