Is staying busy after a breakup really the healthiest thing?

All of the "get over the breakup" advice I receive ranges from 1) Find someone new and QUICK! 2) Stay busy busy busy, don't stop to think about it. I feel like neither of these things really heal the pain, it's like putting a band-aid on a bullet hole. I have also realized I was the rebound relationship with my last boyfriend and he broke my heart (as he wasn't truly in a place to WANT anything serious) So I would never suggest rebounding to anyone who wants to treat others the way they deserve...Am I just too old fashioned or something by thinking if everyone cooled it a little after a break up and felt the sh*tty feelings to be stronger first then we would ALL benefit from less heartbreak?

 

What's Your Opinion?

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • I've never seen anyone say to find somebody else right away, you're right, a rebound relationship is not a good idea when you're heartbroken still.I don't like "stay busy" either, I think it's more that you just need to get yourself back into your old routines, keep in touch with your friends and family, because they're your support system.I think right after the break-up, it does help to talk to someone about it, not just push it away. Having a shoulder to cry on can help you heal. As long as you don't keep dwelling on it afterward. It's fine to have some time to yourself to cry it out or whatever you need to do. But eventually you need to pick up the pieces.

What Guys Said 3

  • i usually advise a change of air.r. Find a new interest, hobby, places to go where you'll see different people, learn somethng new, study for a new job, travel somewhere you've never been.The point is not to be super busy,not to be desperately searching for someone new to date, but to be experiencing different siutations and cultures and PEOP:LE.

  • Your right. What you really need to do is have some time to grieve. It's a LOSS, and there is going to be a period of time where you need to grieve that loss before you can move on. "Keeping busy" or moving on to someone else will only delay that, but sooner or later, you're going to have to deal with it, so you might as well get it done and out of your system. THEN you can move on.

    • My ex moved on in a matter of WEEKS and I feel like although I realize he's a fast mover I should be able to move on too. It just seems so unfair...even though I guess I will be healthier in the long run, right now completely sucks

  • Yes, that would be the best thing to do, finding someone just to feel the void would be unfair to the person who would commit to you, and as for staying busy is totally OK as long as you don't push yourself to much..the best thing to do is be optimistic even if things didn't work out..not to expect getting back with the EX..learn to appreciate the small things that can make you happy..as time goes by you would learn to value and love your own self more and by knowing this you would know what you want to have an ideal relationship is for you..

What Girls Said 2

  • You are right, replacing the loss and staying busy do not help you move on. Break ups are hard and come with a lot of painful emotions. The best thing to do is just let yourself feel what you feel, take each day as is comes and just work through it.

  • I agree. I can't tell you how many times I've heard - 'just move on' or 'stay busy! do this and do that' ... as if moving on can happen just by blinking or signing up for 20 different extracurricular activities or partying every night can really make you feel better.For some people maybe it does work but what happens when you hit that one hour in between your 'busyness' (yes I just made up a word)? You're going to have to slow down at some point and that's when the sh*t is going to hit the fan for you emotionally and mentally and probably physically if you were really being as active as possible after the breakup.So in short, yep I agree that sometimes just curling up and crying it out can actually be more productive and conducive to the grieving and healing process than just trying to bury those feelings with something else.

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