He's cheated on everyone else, how do I know he won't cheat on me?

I'm very close with a guy who's a year older than me. We go to different schools and before we became interested in each other, we were very good friends and he'd told me about how he would cheat on people and not care. I know this should be a huge gargantuan red flag, but I really do love him a lot and I want to trust that things can be different with me. How can I be sure things will turn out one way or another?

 

What's Your Opinion?

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • It depends on how he felt for these girls. Did he say he was inlove with them? Or did they not mean much to him? You said you two were good friends before, so you would probably have an idea of where those girls stood in his life. If they didn't mean much, meaning he wasn't really inlove with them, and didn't care if they left him, then there is a possibility that he will not cheat on you, only if you know for sure you are different from all the other girls he went out with. Meaning, he really loves you. And you really mean something to him, compared to the other girls he dated. SOrry, I know it's kinda confusing. If you really want to know where you stand, then I guess you have to see how much this guy will actually do for you. How far he would go for you. And how much he misses you when you are away. He knows you are aware of his past, but yet he chose to date you... that should mean something, in a way. But you still have to be careful. Don't give yourself up right away. Don't let yourself fall hard for him, right away. Take everything slow, and pay attention to his actions. If you know in you head that he treats you differently from all the other girls he dated, then there is a possibility that he has graduated from being a cheater. But if you ever doubt, anything with him... don't be afraid to confront him. Let him know how you're feeling because of his past.. it's not your fault that you feel and think the way you do. It's common sense, and any girl would think the same thing. Let him know that it will not be easy for you to trust him... and he has to accept and understand that, if he wants to be with you. Show him that he will have to work extra harder, if he really wants to be with you. If he sticks around, and proves it, then that's a good sign. But, If he runs then there goes the answer to your question. I wouldn't date a guy who thinks cheating was okay. It would be almost impossible for me to trust him. But if you really love him girl.. then go for it, just try to protect yourself from getting tooo hurt in the end. Because getting cheated on, is a pain so indescribable.. and it really destroys you.. inside.

    • Wow. Thanks so much that really helped. When I thought about what you were saying I realized that, in fact, there is a huge chance of him cheating on me and I just have to talk about it with him and tell him that's just not for me.

    • So whatever happened? are you still with him?

What Guys Said 10

  • He is a cheater, he will cheat. That is what we do. Men who do not cheat, usually do not out of fear of loosing who they love. Women are faithful by nature (most women), and usually only cheat when they are ignored. The problem is when women think that men think like women; we do not.At first he might be all you hope and want, but at some point in his life he will go back to the person he has told you about. Be prepared for that, have an open relationship or something that offers a better chance of being honest without expecting monogamy. He knows that you know who he is, since he is the one who has told you. He will be surprised that you trusted him in the end and make it your fault that you are disappointed.Good LuckJames

  • Unless you're God, you can't be sure. That's the idea behind trust. Even if someone has a good track record, there's still risk. Credit loaners know this; so do insurance companies.Trust is your choice. Different things he does and says may influence your choice to trust him, but ultimately the choice is one you make.

  • You can be sure he'll cheat on you.This is one of the few times you can be sure about how people will act. People who believe that their prior cheating was a mistake often stop cheating. People who aren't sorry, or are only sorry because they were caught, keep cheating.In his case, he won't just cheat on you, he'll brag about it. You know this because he bragged about cheating on his other girlfriends. If you're OK with this, date him. If you're not, dump him.

  • If you're posting this question here, then I think you know the answer.I've dated a notorious cheater before. I spent all my time worrying if she was cheating. Then she did. The breakup lasted a week, and I took her back. Then a month later she did it again.You know this guy's MO. You know what he does. He won't change for you, and you know that. If you date this guy, you accept that he's going to have sex with another girl, period. And if you can't accept that (you shouldn't) then you have to move on.

  • You can't. Just as a drug addict will find drugs, a cheater will always find a new girl.

  • He will cheat on you. you can never trust a cheater like him "he'd told me about how he would cheat on people >>>and not care<<<" the and not care should be a dead give away no respect for girls.

  • What's the status? Still with him, or no? Has he cheated yet?

    • I never went out with him but he still keeps asking me out. I told him I don't want to get hurt and he says be doesn't do that anymore. I'm pretty damn sure that's a huge load of bullsh*t. And when I told him to give me a legetimate reason to trust him and he said because he loves me. So basically he's the same person

  • He will cheat on you. Follow your brain, not your heart.

    • Thanks....that's not exactly what I wanted to hear but I know it's the truth.

    • You know what's right. You just don't want to believe it. But save yourself the time and heartache and convince yourself and get over him.

  • Wow, I hate to say this, but you've already cheated on yourself. You knew what you were getting into, and you did it anyways. Are you a betting woman? I'm giving you 1000:1 odds he won't pork someone else behind your back. If you want to love someone...love Jesus! He'll never cheat on you! Have a great week and study for finals! - J p.s. "No animals or cocaine products were used in the making of this thread". I have to put that warning label on my comments...tax purposes. You can't teach a hammer to love nails dammit! That dog just won't hunt! -j

  • Geee are you as blind as Ray Charles.The eveidence is in front of you how can you ignore it.You might as well BEND OVER AND TOUCH YOUR ANKLESBecause he'll cheat on youAnd just because your smart don't mean you do dumb thingsWhat a"loser"you have

What Girls Said 9

  • My best friend, Ryan, has cheated on every girl he has ever gone out with, except his current girlfriend. He actually cares about her.He has cheated on every other girl, and totally not care about it. But he really cares about, and loves, his current girl.If this kid cares about you, things will be different, but he needs to truly care about you.Don't let him get to you too easy, and don't let him know that you are head over heals for him.If he knows that, then he will think he can get away with anything.Make him work.Tell him he has to earn your trust, and your love.Make him prove that he is worthy.If he goes through all the trouble to make you love him, and prove that he can be trusted, then he truly cares.My friend, Ryan, really loves the girl he is with... He treats her like a princess, and she doesn't even deserve it from him.He has cheated on every girl he has been with besides her, and she cheated on him.But he is so in love, and he cares about her so much, that he needs to give her another chance, and he is unable to let her go. He truly cares about her, and that proves that he is changed.Make your man prove that he is changed.

  • once a cheater, always a cheater

  • Dont waste your time with this dusher..He will cheat on you,and I don't think that anyone deserves to be cheated on.So you deserve better.

  • my current boyfran .cheated on every single one of his ex's yet he hasn't cheated on me but I kissed a guy and admitted it to him and he got on with it . he loves me too much to leave me and I regretted it also but always think guys CAN WAIT.if your saying no when he asks you out he'll wait if he really LOVES you that muchlikee he sayss he does! andif he doesn't then he will find another girl with something else he lovesand oviously he's the same as any other guy that cheats and plays with girls feelings I think the best thing to do is ... say yes if you like him enough and wait ... dont give in and love him too much because then you will get hurt and you will know when he loves you more then you do you feel it and you can always tell so just wait til you know and then that will be that . (:i hope this helps a little its always easier helping in person .

  • You can't be sure.Maybe him telling you he's cheated on people is all part of his game.Kind of like reeling you in. As in "look I've played games with SO many people and their emotions, but I like you so much I wouldn't do it to you".Reverse psychology.DON'T TRUST HIM!

  • you can't be sure. relationships are always unpredictable sometimes jus tlike life. the only thing is probabilities. what's the probability this guy will cheat on you just like he's done with all other girls...high. because you know he's done it and he even has a reputation.experience and wisdom is that guys don't change unless they choose to. women make th emistake thinking they can change their man.

  • Okay, I just answered a similar question. The question was, "Once a cheater always a cheater?" Here's what I wrote."No. Everyone can grow. And everyone makes mistakes, yes some learn and some don't, but it's not fair to pigeon hold someone for a mistake they made in their past. If they've done it a ton of times, then it might be different. But sometimes, even then, people change. My current boyfriend of 4 years cheated on every one of his exes. And I've been cheated on by every one of my exes, so you could see where I might be super wary. But I've always jumped in giving the benefit of the doubt. And he has never cheated on me, and yes I know this for a fact. And besides I cheated on one of my exes, and I learned from it, and have never done it again, so it would be mighty hypocritical of me to judge those who have made that mistake in their past, before I was ever part of life." Here's the link to it if you want to check out the other answers and the comments to my answer. link

  • There is no way in which you can tell. Some people can change so he could be different with you but you can not gurantee it. As they say once a cheat always a cheat and this seems to be true in this guys case.If you can not trust the guy then there is not going to be a relationship. Trust is an important factor in a relationship and they do not work with out it.The guy sounds like he is a player and gets all that he can and you will be better off with out him. You are still young and have plenty of time to meet a nice guy who is not going to cheat on you and treat you with the respect that you deserve. Just go out and have fun with your friends and you will meet someone else when you least expect it.

  • Most likely he will cheat on you. Things will not be different with you, I'm sorry. Even though you love him, you can't ignore red flags and abandon all judgement. If he did it to all the other girls you will be no different, but at least you know more than the other girls did

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