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Why do guys enjoy playing girls?

I AM so FRUSTRATED! This guy I met over the summer and I hooked up a couple times. I decided I was tired of just hooking up and wanted to do other things together since we essentially talked everyday. He didn't want a relationship, I did but it wasn't a huge deal, but I did want to do other things together like go places, he was weird about it so I cut him off. We didn't talk for a good month until I finally texted him and said we should still be friends since we did used to talk almost everyday. I did meet another guy during that month but I am not really emotionally connected to him like I am this guy. I didn't tell the other guy and everything went back to normal that day, we started making jokes again, and just same old way like it used to be. I left a hoodie at his place and he told me he found it and if we wanted to meet up so he could give it to me. I said okay, and I asked where would be easiest for him, and he told me: at this specific ice cream shop. I asked which one because it is a chain and there are several of them, and he said it didn't matter, it was up to me. I picked one, he said okay and he will meet me the next day. The following morning, he texted me this joke and I replied as I normally do, and this time I don't hear from him afterward. I didn't say anything rude, all I said was "omg that would be so funny if someone did that in the middle of class :)" and he never responded back. I found that weird, but I figured he was busy at work. So I don't hear from him all day then an hour before we are supposed to meet he texts me: I can't give you your hoodie today. And I said "oh don't worry! Do you want me to meet you outside of you apartment another time and you can hand it to me?" And he NEVER texted me back. This has been 3 days. I talked to my friends about it and they all agreed that he wouldn't have been that specific with a location to just "drop off my hoodie" he could have just handed it to me outside of his place but he CHOSE a specific place to drop it off, it seemed like he wanted to sit down and talk by doing that. He is acting like I did something wrong, everything was starting to do so well again. Not he is acting weird. Why be so normal then act weir again? I feel like he is doing this because he knows I care about him. And I hate that I care so much about him because there are other guys that are also pursuing me but I can't help how I feel about this guy, and he's not even THE BEST looking guy of all of them. But I connected with him more than I have some guys I've dated for years. Why is he behaving like this? Does he enjoy breaking my heart. I'm not going to go out of my way to contact him because I still have my dignity, but I will tell you, it hurts. Why is he doing all of this?

Updates:
Oh and he doesn't know about the other guy for a FACT because we don't have the same group of friends. And that other guy isn't anything serious. Just talking.

What's Your Opinion?

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • I have a belief that guys don't play girls, girls play themselves. Men aren't nearly as sneaky or clever as women give them credit for being. Usually there are signals that the guy you are about to mess with is a creep. Women decide to ignore. This guy is clearly blowing you off, get your jacket and don’t deal with him anymore. If you do choose to keep him in your life then do so knowing full well he’s played you before and will probably play you again. Sometimes when a woman feels comfortable with you she starts to lean on you. She does it because she feels comfortable with you and is placing her trust in you. At the same time, if you do this with a guy who is not 100% sold-out into you, or has any doubts at all…then you can have problems. The girlfriend becomes a burden, a responsibility, a prime consumer of time, money, and emotions. The guy can become slowly annoyed, and come to resent the girl, leading him to play the hell out of her eventually. That’s why it’s important for a young woman to be careful of who she chooses to lean on, also she may want to consider being more self-sufficient, less needy. Again, remember that there are red flags that a girl should be looking for when she dates. If it feels like he’s a player, then he probably is.

    • Yep well said!

What Guys Said 9

  • Please don't stereotype us all. Thanks.

    • Unfortunately we will probably get stereotyped. A girl gets played by a guy once and she is never the same again. The sad reality.

    • True. So annoying, though, when I'm negatively grouped into a category I don't approve of nor fit into just because I'm the same gender and a few girls have a few bad experiences as a result of poor choices.

  • What PhilaPenn said. You need to start learning what your actions communicate. What your texts communicate. What your behavior communicate.Most people don't realize what they're communicating and tend to f*** themselves over without any exterior help.

  • guys can always tell if there is another you know why right...its because of you holding on to your dignity for someone else cause its not for him and he knows it.if you were serious about that met up you would have blasted his ass for standing you up..whether dating or not guys can not read minds ladies so stop holding on to your thoughts and let them run..he already did what he felt was part of expressing his feeling by saying he didn't want a friendship and I know this is how ladies operate with the friend thing first do you know how hard it is to be a friend..if you say something then you mean it and atless your honest..telling him about being friends makes him think I'm not good enough for her..the only problem I see here was that space when space fills it fills quick like you finding another guy he may have found another chick so if your not gonna contact him then leave it be and move on with your new guy.cause putting yourself out there is how you grow.but when you only think of yourself it will haunt you never let things ligar try to solve the case while its still hot cause this one is cold. and this is a life lesson just like if he was one of your friends if they don't wanna talk and you care you force them but neither of you cared enough and space formed in between you..

  • You did do something wrong. You cut him off because he didn't give you the reply that you wanted about going out somewhere. You didn't talk to him for a damn month over him not saying what you wanted him to sayHow is that not wrong?

    • But I apologized for that and everything was okay again. We went back to acting normal, jokes, and all. He asked if we can meet up so he can give me my hoodie back, Then he started acting weird again. How am I wrong?

  • Not every guy wants to play girls! And not every guy is serious with girls! Just the the girls do! Right?

  • Generalization never helps, I had an ex who cheated behind my back with his boss. Now I can't generalize that all girls are that way

  • Why do guys play girls? Plenty of reasons. Too frustrating to be serious with them. Revenge, girls love to play guys as well.You can, so why not?

  • You are choosing to waste your time with a guy that is a scum. Next time maybe choose to NOT be a victim. None of this is a surprise to you. PhilaPenn gave you best answer. Grow up and start looking after yourself because nobody else will.

  • we don't enjoy playing girls we enjoy f*cking them.p.s. I just read the main question since this sh*t is to f*cking long to read. learn how to use a paragraph from time to time.

What Girls Said 1

  • He doesn't want to put any effort into it, might be because he just doesn't want a serious girlfriend. He just wants to hook up and be stupid for a while, I really doubt the fact that he might have any feelings for you.You should have cut him out of your life for good, really. He isn't worth all the stuff you're going through and it's totally one sided except for the hooking up (which is the only thing he wants).I guess you "bonded" with him, because you liked the physical contact and stuff. If you hadn't hooked up, you wouldn't feel "connected" to him.. which has to do with hormones and stuff. Body and emotions are one.Distance yourself, after a while you'll see he's just a douche and you were waisting your time.. he's not thinking about how he can make you happy, he's not kind and he's just thinking about what he wants.Imagine him talking to his friends about you.. oh wait he probably hasn't introduced you, right?Move on.. he's not playing you. He only wants to hook up without the relationship thing.

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