Psycho ex/ Son's father- Should I keep my partner updated?

My son's father, whom I've left 4 years ago still consistently contacts me demeaningly. My boyfriend is aware of the full situation and is secure in our relationship. He knows I don't have the least desire to reconcile with my ex. The question I have, is should I share convos and advances my ex makes with my boyfriend since he already fully knows how he is? I've shared many of the convos with him because I can't stand the idea of my exes attempts being hidden and keeping him in the dark to it all. Like today my ex called me on a rampage about money and then called afterward apologetically and then had the audacity to ask me to return to him, which I vocalize strongly that there isn't a chance in hell. (It was a very bad split involving severe abuse and continued harassment.) So of course, part of me hates the idea of hiding that and having it come up in a different scenario and come off like I hid it from him. But, it really doesn't feel like telling him is 'right' either.... Show More

I brought the subject up and asked me how he felt about it. He said he's not threatened by him and that he trusts me. Right now my ex lives in Alaska via military but gets out in April. I plan to discuss with courts abstaining contact info (address and number) and having him go through grandparents. I've kept good rapport with them and didn't keep them from their grandson over what their son did. They've met and adore my current boyfriend at my son's birthday party.
As far as imminent danger, when he IS back in Texas (come April-May)...he's more likely to end up shot. He can't legally purchase a weapon and none of his friends have any nor would be stupid enough to provide him with that...many of his old friends would quicker shoot him themselves.

My boyfriend is diplomatic, but he would win a spar because A) My ex is 5'2" B) My ex fights without any real tact and usually comes out of fights he does end up picking losing with a black eye.

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  • If you want your new guy to fully be in yur life, then try having him answer some of your ex's

    tirades Just knowing you have a new guy fullly involved in your life may your ex to stop asking you to come back to him, and generally it may get him to stop contacting you all the time.

    It would be difficult to get a restraining order, since he is the father of your child and sends the support payments on time, andit might just make him angry. I'd stay on the path you have chosen, being generally reasonable and civil, but I'd try involving your new guy in handling his communictions.

    Sure it's messy and a little embarrassing, but as you say it wouldn't be right to hide things from him.

    • Trust me, there's a voice of reason that I have to hold on to to prevent from saying (true) things like "Please. I'm getting better d*** than you could ever dream of providing for a girl and you think I'd give that up to get back with you?" but I withhold.

      And letting him get involved would not benefit things. My ex says f***ed up things...he knows very well how to provoke and his goal and dream would be to push my boyfriend over the edge.

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    • I still hate that he has to deal with it I meant and wish he didn't have to. Two thoughts got strung together. Sorry lol.

    • Partners are for sharing the burdens as well as the joy of life! Getting some sort of no contact order from the courts wouldn't be a bad idea when he's back living near you..but don't count on that stopping him.