Can't get him out of my head, should I see him again?

So last year I met that guy, who really messed me around for six months. At the beginning it was just a game between us, and he knew that I didn't want anything serious.But he did everything to make me believe he wanted to be with me, and I ended up being madly in love with him. At one point he even wrote me a love email saying he wanted to be with me and that even if he was immature he could change. When we met up after that he said he changed his mind and we couldn't be together because I was moving away (not that far though and only for a year) but said we could at least try.Then it was total silence for months, and I spent the summer being depressed and totally messed up as to why he would manipulate me this way.If all he wanted was sex why would he make me believe he actually cared about me? The thing is that I know he has a reputation of being a real b*****d, and that he has a girlfriend (even if he said they broke up many times,and that it didn't work well, it seems they're still together) and now that I am not so blinded I realize he's just been making fun of me all that time, like he probably has done with so many others.I really feel like I need to see him again to actually move on, eventhough this is so risky because he'll probably find a way to smooth talk me into him again. He's been in touch lately and I Haven't replied to him, but really really wish he would show up on my doorstep. What is wrong with me?! I can't even date anyone else because he's always on my mind, and I know he's moving to my city in a couple of months. This is the first time I felt so much for someone, I feel that I have compromised a lot for him in doing things that went against my principles, and I just feel so vulnerable. I also feel guilty for letting such a bad person hurt me and actually want to see him more! Do you think I should see him again to clear things up? And if I bump into him how should I react?! (angry, ignore him, talk?)

What's Your Opinion?

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • It sounds like you're a sucker punishment. In your question you've listed a myriad of reasons of why you shouldn't see him again. Lets list them.1. He really messed me around for six months2. he was immature he could change. 3. When we met up after that he said he changed his mind4. Then it was total silence for months, and I spent the summer being depressed and totally messed up as to why he would manipulate me this way5. I know he has a reputation of being a real b*****d6. he has a girlfriend (even if he said they broke up many times,and that it didn't work well, it seems they're still together7. I am not so blinded I realize he's just been making fun of me all that time, like he probably has done with so many others.8. I really feel like I need to see him again to actually move on, eventhough this is so risky because he'll probably find a way to smooth talk me into him again9. feel that I have compromised a lot for him in doing things that went against my principles, and I just feel so vulnerable.10. I also feel guilty for letting such a bad person hurt meAll this, and you still want to see him?Here's what I suggest. You need to search way deep down inside for the reason why you don't believe you deserve good love. I'm almost pretty sure you have plenty of daddy issues. I can't imagine why else you would put yourself through this kind of torture if you had a good example at home.All love is not good love and it is imperative you gain some self love before trying to love someone else, or else you'll continue to find yourself falling in love with one bad news dude after next.I wish you luck.

    • thanks a lot for opening my eyes :) I think you're right I need to do some serious work on myself to stop myself from falling for this kind of guy again...

    • I was there once. Learning to love myself changed my life. It really starts with you. Take a time out from dating and save any ounce of love you have to give for yourself. Once you know how that feels, you won't accept anything less. :-)

What Guys Said 1

  • It could be you two have destiny. But... BUT, destiny does not always mean happy endings. You may just have stuff in you that pulls you to each other, in order to work it off - or grow. From what you said, this is unlikely to be a good experience.If you can get whatever you need to move on, without going back into the dance with him again, then it would be best to do that. But if you can't, then you need to accept that this is something you have to do and go for for it. I know this will not really help, it just explains the situation, but to decide, maybe this will help...Imagine you're 70 years old, you're tired and just want to rest. But you're thinking back to this time. If you didn't go for it and see him, would you be regretting it, or feeling relief?

What Girls Said 0

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