How do I become stronger?

i admire women like beyonce and oprah and all other strong women who have something for themselve and don't let a man be in charge

i recently got dumped ..well he didn't dump me he just ignored me and after 2 months he has a new girl

and it strenghten me so much to just focus , exercize and be more powerful .. I'm only 20 so I want to be a strong woman


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's a good goal to be a strong woman, but don't assume that even Beyonce or Oprah never had relationship issues. Being strong helps for sure, but it doesn't assure that you'll never have someone break up with you. It just means that you won't let yourself spiral off into depression as a result.

    One thing you need to do is learn to believe in yourself, believe that you are WORTHY of good relationships, and STAND UP FOR YOURSELF, from Day 1, in your relationships. You can do this without being mean or bitchy; you just have to be FIRM about what your needs and values are. A big part of that is not being afraid to communicate and to TELL THE TRUTH, especially when the truth is hard to hear or take. When your guy knows that you're going to tell the truth no matter what, HE is going to be more secure too. You also need to create a relationship where he is able to tell YOU the truth without you losing it if it's something you don't want to hear. You have to be able to work on those hard issues TOGETHER.

    So, bullet points:

    - Recognize your own value and worth.

    - Stand up for yourself, from Day 1.

    - Communicate.

    - Be HONEST, always.

    - Work through your problems together.

    If you follow this plan, your successes will bolster your confidence, and your failures will just become learning experiences and not personal indictments. Know that you'll make mistakes and have failures along the way. Oprah has had plenty of failures. So has Beyonce, and so has EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER BEEN SUCCESSFUL. What made them successful is that when they failed, they got right back up and kept working on success, and they analyzed that failure to see what they could learn from it. Anyone who is a success will tell you that they learned more from their failures than from their actual success.

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      I know but I dotn know if I should keep him on my fcb or cut him out

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      On those rare occasions when you end a relationship with zero hard or hurt feelings on either side, you can remain friends, but as a RULE, someone is going to be hurt, and so the wise decision is to make a clean break from them, cutting off all non-necessary communication. That way, you can heal without the wounds being constantly re-opened.