How do I become stronger?

i admire women like beyonce and oprah and all other strong women who have something for themselve and don't let a man be in charge

i recently got dumped ..well he didn't dump me he just ignored me and after 2 months he has a new girl

and it strenghten me so much to just focus , exercize and be more powerful .. I'm only 20 so I want to be a strong woman


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's a good goal to be a strong woman, but don't assume that even Beyonce or Oprah never had relationship issues. Being strong helps for sure, but it doesn't assure that you'll never have someone break up with you. It just means that you won't let yourself spiral off into depression as a result.

    One thing you need to do is learn to believe in yourself, believe that you are WORTHY of good relationships, and STAND UP FOR YOURSELF, from Day 1, in your relationships. You can do this without being mean or bitchy; you just have to be FIRM about what your needs and values are. A big part of that is not being afraid to communicate and to TELL THE TRUTH, especially when the truth is hard to hear or take. When your guy knows that you're going to tell the truth no matter what, HE is going to be more secure too. You also need to create a relationship where he is able to tell YOU the truth without you losing it if it's something you don't want to hear. You have to be able to work on those hard issues TOGETHER.

    So, bullet points:

    - Recognize your own value and worth.

    - Stand up for yourself, from Day 1.

    - Communicate.

    - Be HONEST, always.

    - Work through your problems together.

    If you follow this plan, your successes will bolster your confidence, and your failures will just become learning experiences and not personal indictments. Know that you'll make mistakes and have failures along the way. Oprah has had plenty of failures. So has Beyonce, and so has EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER BEEN SUCCESSFUL. What made them successful is that when they failed, they got right back up and kept working on success, and they analyzed that failure to see what they could learn from it. Anyone who is a success will tell you that they learned more from their failures than from their actual success.

    • I know but I dotn know if I should keep him on my fcb or cut him out

    • On those rare occasions when you end a relationship with zero hard or hurt feelings on either side, you can remain friends, but as a RULE, someone is going to be hurt, and so the wise decision is to make a clean break from them, cutting off all non-necessary communication. That way, you can heal without the wounds being constantly re-opened.

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Would you date someone younger/older/married?

What Guys Said 20

  • The key to being an overall strong person is self confidence.

    Its VERY easy to focus on your strengths. Anyone can do that.

    The main key to TRUE and REAL self confidence (which isn't touched much upon) is not aiming to self improve at all times...


    ... but also the acceptance of your "perceived unfixable weaknesses", whether they be physical traits, personality traits or other factors about the essence of you as a person.

    All of the truly confident people I know accept and embrace those said weaknesses.

  • is not about being strong, is about being mature and have a healty self-confidence, strenght won't do you much good, a bad relationship will hurt you, unless you become so cold-hearted, which again, is not any good and it will make you even more unhappy, also, the bigger they are the harder they fall, remember it, since I seriously doubt Beyonce is doing great with the arrogant jerk on her side, I don't want to be in charge, but I also wouldn't like a man-eater by my side, be mature, be thrutfull, and live your life at full, and by doing so you will naturally interact with the kind of people that are worth it and less likely to treat you wrong, but also, remember love needs faith, you will always have to rick getting hurt, check the song Glass, by Thompson Square, they explain it better, in fact they tell say a REAL thruth, we boys and girls are both glass :P when open up to love we both expose ourselves, if one guy takes advantage of you is not that you are weak, is more that he was not in love or do not even know how to love, maybe you are just giving yourself to the wrong guys


  • this movie might inspire you!


    Rocky is pretty much teaching there's a right road and an easy road. The son was rebellious, he was only thinking of himself, his image. So often people think more about their image than their personality. You shouldn't care? what people think of you personally, but ethically. People like other people robbing their dignity(only focusing on their image, rather than who they are).. If you don't believe in yourself, you will be cruel, selfish, and bad.Some people think life is given, when it is earned. Good things take time, they don't come all at once. When people fall or let others treat them like sh*t, they blame the people that love them the most. They let others define who they are, but themselves. As a result, they hurt the ones they love. They respect the ones that hate? them and disrespect the ones that love them. Rocky is a humble character and was making the point to his son that he is "self-centered" and living a fake life.

  • ok I will answer at the second (unwritten part of your question).

    1- with all do respect your ex is a d***. If he had any self respect he would have had the talk with you and not just let you hang there.

    2- If you wanna get over the situation and him. cut him out completely, so even from Facebook. Honestly, you seem like a nice person and I do not believe that he deserves much attention from you given his behavior. Your time is precious don't waste it on him.

    3- Getting stronger will not reduce the pain of getting damped, it will however help you feel better on a daily basis. you could take many advices from the previous posts.

    4- more of a comment than anything else, the best part of this story, is that this event will make you stronger when you are over the guy. I have experienced a sad story of the sort but she wasn't my girlfriend, and it has changed my personality ever since. Your self confidence has been damaged, you need to focus on rebuilding it. Women like beyonce and oprah send a vibe of self confidence when you see them talk and do anything, that vibe is what make you feel that they are undestructible.

    I hope it helps ^^.

  • I have a female friend who is VERY strong and VERY self confident. How did she get this way?

    She is 38 years old now, but lived through much abuse from a child on.

    I've seen this from others too. It is surviving hard times that make you hard / tough / strong.

    Like you just said yourself, you are now stronger. Like the old saying goes; No Pain, No Gain.

    One thing about being "dumped" or rejected, it hardens your heart to some degree. You will guard it as a result and guarding your heart will seem cold or hard to the next person you enter into a relationship with.

    So, bottom line is; Be careful of what you wish for. In order to be very strong like the ladies I know, you will have had experienced much adversity to get there.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Omg, I can't believe some of these crazy comments! First of all Oprah and Beyonce are two very strong black women that deserve their rich cushions, because THEY BOTH WORKED HARD FOR WHAT THEY HAVE TODAY! And not only that, they are giving back to the world with inspirational music and television shows that inspire millions... So while other idiots are blowing dough selfishly, BEYONCE gives uplifting messages to women everywhere through her songs then gets paid, and OPRAH has her OWN network promoting self-improvement in all of us on TV shows. That's why they are strong women...

    But anyway, being a strong woman has everything to do with how you see yourself. I think that your ex sucks for what he did to you. You didn't deserve that crap. But being strong means healing yourself and forgiving those that have hurt you. And you should do these things to move on and build your self-esteem back up. Make yourself feel better by doing things that make you HAPPY- listen to some empowering music and really relax, write out your feelings in a journal, start new things you've always wanted to try. And take it from somebody who's been hurt by guys plenty of times, YOU NEED TO BE HAPPY. After you've forgiven him, built your self-esteem up, and found more happiness, build your bank account- A little more money doesn't hurt anyone. Now you've become stronger, for no one else but you!