Had a magical relationship and then ends it without a warning and she needs space. why?

My ex and I were together for a month and for that month it was magic. We like all the same things, food, cooking for each other, four wheeling, sports...I mean it was magic! There were times that her and I looked into each others eyes and we both got sappy and started to cry because we were so happy together. There were talks about moving in together, planning how we would re-paint my spare bedroom for her daughter, and later we talked about marriage, and I NEVER EVER in the past considered getting married, my idea was always "why ruin a good thing" but with her...I would do it in a heartbeat! After a couple weeks of dating we were laying on the couch watching TV spooning and all of a sudden she give me a promise ring to her. I was kind of freaked out about it but it didn't fit, so she said that she would get it re-sized for me...I told her "sweetie, I don't need a ring to commit myself to you" and she was OK with that and we kissed. She told me from the start that she didn't want me to meet her daughter for 5 months of dating...I was perfectly fine and respected that. after a couple of weeks, she said that she is extremely comfertable with me and wanted me to meet her daughter so I did and instantly fell in love with her and from that point on was just wonderful. every time I saw her, it was like the first time we met, I had butterflies in my stomach...IT WAS MAGIC I was on cloude 9! Then we went to her company party on the 9th of Feb had a great time, spent the night at the hotel it was at and the next day we spent time together until she had to go home for her daughter to be dropped off. We text and talked that night until I had to go to bed for work. The next day (Monday) we were emailing back and forth throughout the day and things were good. Then at the end of the work day she states that this is not working out. She stated that I was smothering and it's over. I was devestated. She said that she can't accept the clingyness and it's just not going to work out between us. Here's the thing, that wasn't me! I was being like that becasue she got a divorce of 8 years becasue her ex was lazy, no job, and didn't respect her (she told me this), and her recent ex just didn't treat her like she meant anything to her (again she told me this). SO I did all of that for her and made her feel special and that she meant a lot to me. Eventually I would have backed off and gave the space and wouldn't have laid it on that thick anymore. She won't talk to me or see me, just text or email. She talked with my best friend and gave him my stuff and wanted her stuff back, so I gave it to him to give back to her. She told him that she rushed the relationship and needs space now. Ladies, Please give me some advice why she would end it overnight...

Another reason why I'm not a smothering personson is becasue my ex broke it off with me becasue she always wanted to be with me and was bothering me. So we talked and went somewhere without her and she was pissed off and said that she doesn't want to be with me.


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  • I think that she just freaked out because you both were moving too far too fast. Especially since she just had a divorce, I'm guessing that she panicked and wanted to reevaluate the relationship because she didn't want to rush into another marriage only for history to repeat itself. I also was afraid when my boyfriend was super serious with me; after a month or two he told me he wanted to work through a long distance relationship (for 8 months!), move to my hometown, follow me to graduate school, etc. It was a lot to deal with and I panicked too. I quickly realized, however, that I ultimately wanted a serious relationship and I had a very sweet boyfriend who was offering that to me. Hopefully sharing my own experience will help you process what your girl might be going through. I'm surprised she ended it so quickly vs. talking it through with you; it must have been a knee-jerk reaction.

    I would wait a little while and then contact her, either through a phone call, email, or your best friend. Explain that while you stand by what you said during the relationship, you would take it slow if it meant you got to be with her. I would just reiterate that you're sincere and interested, and have her interests at heart. Try to think with your head instead of your heart, so you two can truly get to know each other (it was only a month after all!) In my opinion that's really all you can do at this point. I hope she'll listen to you and will give the relationship another try!

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      I do appreciate what you are telling me. Do you think when she told me that she doesn't want to talk and that it's over was just her putting up her walls so I wouldn't contact her so she can have her space and think about it? I don't have a problem slowing down what-so-ever, I'm all for it and want this to work between us. I am praying that she will give it another chance becuase what we had was perfect and as long as I am myslef and smothering that it would be a magical thing. Thank you

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      Yeah, I have no idea what her thought process was. Maybe she cut off all communication because she was afraid, and wants to reflect on her own wants/needs. Maybe she cut off all communication because she seriously wants to break all ties. Maybe she doesn't know why she did it. It's hard to tell with women haha. All you can do is hope it's the first scenario, and act accordingly. Good luck!

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      I will...thank you for the advice. Every little bit counts. From wha everyone has been telling me seems like she got cold feet and bailed becasue it was too good to be true to her and it finally sunk in and that's what pushed her over the edge.