Am I the Rebound Girl or Not?

I have known this guy for about 20 years now and we ran into each other one night. He has been single now for about 6 months after a 10 year relationship. We starting talking and eventally decided to become friends with benefits. We both did not want to label anything as we got along very well and always had a great time together. We then sometimes got together for just dinner or a movie...with no sex. He always told me how much he liked me and also said that he wishes he would of met me before his X wife. We recently even took a tropical vacation together...just the two of us. We were hangin out for about 4 months. Once we got back I noticed he started to pull away, when I asked him he told that he wasn't ready for a relationship and he didn't want to hurt me as he felt I was getting closer than he was. We Haven't spoke now for about 5 days. Was I just the rebound girl? I am confused with the way guys think...please help. Should I contact him or just move on?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Howdy,

    I would say lay low for a while and don’t press the issue.

    It’s my opinion that humans should be more polyamorous and not be all relationship trapped. (Especially as an older adult) What I mean is that remember when you were 12 and if I guy said something or did something it was so crushing? And now you might think, “I have no idea what the big deal was about…” Well, as I get older labels and definitions become more silly.

    It was a big deal when I was 20 if I went to a party and didn’t lock lips…now…enough worrying already…

    My theory is that relationships are hormone based and you either find someone you’re in sink with or not. You’re lucky if you can do it when you are younger and procration or the prospect of marriage is more beneficial. You’ve heard of folks who loose that lovin’ feeling? They fall out of rhythm. It sounds as if you were the right person for the right time. He had a familiar person to be with and to enjoy the moment. Of course he doesn’t want a relationship. He just got out of one.

    I would not say you were a rebound. I don’t like that term. You both spent a significant time together over a few months and even went on vacation. Man, I wish I could go to a nice island with a companion…

    If you wish for a commitment or relationship then hold back and just date. Kiss but no sex. Talk and communicate. I wish you the best. Great question.