Will a girl in a bad relationship, who recognizes the ex is bad, come to realization and go for a better guy?
I'm 29, she 30. She was engaged but the wedding was called off recently. She knew there was issues, as well as her closest girlfriends who thought... Show More
Most Helpful Opinion
9 years is a really long time. That's like a third of her life. If she knows she's better off with you she won't stay with him. But she needs to be certain before she makes such a big life choice. This guy will probably put on a show for a while but eventually he'll slip back into his old habits. There might even be early warning signs. She'll be able to pick up on all of that very quickly because she's knows him well, don't worry. Once bitten, twice as wise.
My suggestion is to continue to give her the love and support she needs to grow into a new chapter of her life. Don't stop being Mr Nice Guy or give up on her. She will come back as soon as she starts to miss you.
What Girls Said 6
Its up to her.
To be honest... only she can make that choice.
Love isn't logical. If it was, people wouldn't say with people who abuse them.
I am quite similar to her - I keep going back to someone who everyone says isn't worth me or my time. I still love him. I probably always will.
It's only recently that I've started realising things about him.. and it's been 5 years, and a lot of heartbreak.
All of my friends said he wasn't worth it, he was a jerk, he treated me horribly, etc etc, but I didn't listen. I kept going back to him.
So I guess what I'm saying... is it doesn't matter how much sense you talk, how much you know it's wrong, she needs to make that mistake. Whether she makes it once, or 100 times, there will be a time that she decides enough is enough.
I wish love was easy. But it's not sadly.
I don't think it is fair to you to be second choice. However I believe that 9 years is a lot of time she has invested in this guy so she doesn't want to feel as she has wasted her time. Also I feel bad for you as you shouldn't have dated her being that she was in a relationship. She is the only one that can make a choice but you can also wait a bit but give her an ultimatum that way you don't lose out on whoever is out there for you. All the best
i think you are a true gentlemen any woman would be blessed to have you. Like you said give her time to get the closure she needs but don't sit and wait forever you deserve true happiness even if its not with her. Maybe this is what she needs because she has to see for herself that her ex is no good I had to see it for myself as well. Just don't give up be there for her when she needs you to be let her see she can count on you even if you and her are not together. I wish you the best of luck
1. WTF were you doing dating someone who was involved with someone else? EVERY relationship with a cheater is a bad relationship.
2. 9 years is a long time. Don't expect her to be ready to date for like a ear. If she tries to date sooner than 6 months, she's using it as a crutch to make herself feel better even though she's still hung up on her ex
3. If you get involved with her KNOWING she's a cheater - especially before she's actually gotten over him - you lose any right you may have had to act shocked, confused, or hurt when it all goes to hell after awhile.
Have fun, buddy. Good choice!
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