Ok, so I was at this person's birthday party and he was REALLY drunk! He and I have talked for hours and hours before & I really like him.
He continued to come up to JUST me at the party and put his arm around me and ask if I wanted to go make out, loud enough so everyone could hear. I would politely turn him down as it was like a joke. Then he would tell me "I love you, I love you, I love you" and I would just smile. He would follow me EVERYWHERE I went at this party and always make some excuse to put his arm around me. He said, "I really like you. you are a good friend, I really like you."
My guess is you guys are thinking, "if you like HIM so much, why are you sending mixed messages?" Well, here's the rub to the whole damn thing...he's married...to my best friend...I'm married to his cousin...and his wife is having an affair & he doesn't know (I know, sounds like a Jerry Springer episode, except we're all upper professionals who don't live in trailors! LOL)
Anyway, I KNOW this is wrong, I KNOW this could end in a HUGE STEAMING MESS. I think about this all the time! If your answer is intended to "save me" from myself and reiterate that fact, please spare me the lecture, I am AWARE of the horribleness. The fact is, I want to know if YOU were at this party and saw this, what would you think? It was so intense I had to "get away" to the bathroom several times.
Most Helpful Guy
I agree with your first comment that a "drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts".
The first problem is that it sounds like he would have trouble being discreet. And the second problem is that if his wife is cheating on him, he is ignoring her in the bedroom. Two good reasons for you to ignore his advances. Not lecturing, because it sounds like you are being ignored too, or you would be more offended by his pawing.
I have a theory. Men cheat if they can get away with it, women cheat if they are ignored by their husband. Women are usually offended by advances from another man if she is happily married. Of course it can go both ways, a man will cheat if he is ignored too, but the rule of thumb is women don't usually step out if their man is paying attention to them.
Another rule of thought I subscribe to is if a man accuses his wife of cheating when there is no real evidence, he is usually cheating and projecting his guilt onto his wife.
I believe in open marriages, being honest, and if you like the wild side, swinging is the best option.