If guys don't take initiative, it equals disinterest, correct?

I'm pretty forward so I don't mind making a move on a guy if I think he's interested but what are the reasons a guy, although interested, would not take the initiative besides being mind numbingly shy?

Reason being I'm interested in someone right now and every time I make a move, I get a great response, but realistically this guy is not asking me out or starting fb chats for example. He doesn't seem shy and I haven't seen him flirt with other girls besides me.

Thanks for all your answers! You guys are great.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Not at all! Us guys are masters of coming up with excuses not to take the initiative.

    He doesn't think you are interested

    He thinks you have a boyfriend

    He thinks you are out of his league (which is the worst self-defeating excuse ever

    He doesn't want to get friend zoned

    He is shy and nothing short of you showing up naked at his door will be interpreted as a sign of interest, and even then he may think you are playing a joke on him and still not act

    He will ask you out when you are not around your friends

    He will take initiative tomorrow (he says that everyday)

    So yes he's probably interested but a master of excuses


What Guys Said 10

  • Being so forward, I don't think you know what it's like to be shy. It doesn't have to be mind numbing to get in the way. All it needs to be is a fear of rejection.

    It does sound like he's very much interested in you though.

  • Fear? Fear works. Then again what you mean by "shy" is "nervous" and that incorporates fear. Then there are social repercussions to take into account among other complexities that deal with core values, philosophies, and perceptions.

    So in your case it's likely the latter; he's either going through willed self-restraint, pressured self-restraint, is oblivious, or has a policy that prevents interaction on such a level. Easy!

    • You made it so logical. Thanks!

    • Mhm.

  • well, he's probably insecure just like many girls and doesn't try or put effort cause he doesn't believe in himself. its really that simple

  • You've been thinking to much :)

  • I would guess scared maybe? Your a very beautiful woman

  • Not at all

  • if you take initiative and he doesn't do his share, you should leave him, because eventhough I wish more girls would approach guys, I would then do my share of initiating contact back with her

    • Thank you, I completely agree with you. It's nice to see a response that doesn't assume a guy that doesn't respond is the victim.

    • Show All
    • Wish I hadn't already picked BA. Sorry :(

    • Yeah but oh well that means life is not fair

  • "If guys don't take initiative, it equals disinterest, correct?


    He could be shy, could not know how to interact with women and taking things forward, possibly doesn't want to get into trouble with the law (he doesn't want you to press charges against him for sexual harrassment).

    And he could be like I was, totally oblivious to flirting signals

  • No, it doesn't equal dis-interest.

    You can pretend it does all you like, but you're just ignoring the possibility that the guy you like is shy afraid or intimidated.

    "he doesn't seem shy"

    No offence, but as a girl you're not qualified to detect a mans emotional state. In fact, you suck at it. The very evidence he could be shy (not taking initiative) is ignored by you.

    • ...thanks for enlightening me?

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