you said this:
"It kills me to think that he is with another girl"
followed by this:
"I don't like him anymore and I don't want it to be awkward between us anymore"
Seems like you're still thinking with your heart and not your mind which tends to lead to irrational decisions.
i'll give you some encouragement but likewise thanks for giving me insight on how my ex probably feels right now.
Your ex boyfriend most likely still has feelings for you. As a guy I will assure you on this. As of now, he's probably constantly juxtaposing you with his new girlfriend. This is not to say he's finding out what's better or what's worse between you and the new girl; he's just observing what's different and what's the same.
You said, "I tell everyone I'm over him and act fine"
You're not fooling anyone and by reiterating it to everyone around hasn't really helped in convincing your own self that you're through with him. Be honest and be confident.
if you want an honest relationship with him, you first have to be honest with yourself.
and please don't try to play the old "i'm over him, I have no more feelings for him, and I'm not going to forgive him for hurting me, I'm moving" game after reading this post because this is what my ex is putting up and this also is what I'm seeing in her cousin's ex. The cousin's ex is going in a rebound relationship and I can smell it from thousands of miles away (she's in boston) that things are a little awkward and most likely will only last 6 months.
As for me, I'm not exactly waiting for my ex but I am truly sorry for being the one that messed up the relationship (if she ever reads this). I'm trying to do my own thing, improve myself physically and academically, I'm hoping she's doing the same- improving her own self so that when fate allows us to, we'll meet again and have a stronger lasting bond.
and when I say fate, I mean what we can make of it. As humans, we are given the ability to reason and apply that reasoning; we don't base our decisions entirely on instincts therefore our fates aren't exactly all pre-destined. I know we have the ability to tweak it.
hope I didn't get too philosophical on you just then.
To better days for the both of us