If you were in a long term relationship, would you mind if your significant other developed a new friendship with someone of the opposite sex?
-If you wouldn't be comfortable with the friendship, explain why.
-If you dont mind, what kind of things are ok for them to do together? What are the boundaries?
-if it depends...under what circumstances would you accept the friendship?
- I would be fine with my spouse having a friend of the opposite sexVote A
- I would not be comfortable with my spouse having a friend of the opposite sexVote B
- it depends on certain factors...Vote C
Most Helpful Guy
That's exactly what's happening to me now. In fact I've just asked a question about this on the board.
Together with my wife for 12 years and married for 7, 2 small children. I am a nurse so I have a lot of contact with women but one in particular I have developed a close personal friendship with. It's great. We do lots of things together, talk, joke, tease each other, support each other, go for drives, walks etc. It's great. Even my 4 year old loves her!
My wife is supportive of the friendship because she knows how important it is for me, I don't have a close family and she is like a sister, and my wife and kids always come first.
In a long term relationship like this no one person can possibly provide all of the emotional needs the other has. I can't provide everything my wife needs either. If you can't have a life outside of the main relationship it becomes like a prison.
I am in an unusual situation as nearly all of the people I have contact with are women, so of course I will develop friendships with women. If I worked with men then that's who I would be friends with. So I can't answer about other men who don't spend as much time with women as I do.
The main thing with these type of platonic friendships is being open and honest with your main partner. There is simply no other way. If your main partner gets even the slightest hint of dishonesty or secrets it's a downward spiral and there's no getting it back. My wife knows everything we do together, I tell her everything. Openly and honestly.
As for her having a male friend. Unlikely as she has little contact with men, but if she did that would be fine. I trust her to be just as open and honest as I am with her.0