We were surprised at each others age. A lot of people say age doesn't matter but it's a fairly big gap. What do you think?

Took a girl out that I've been forming a really deep relationship with and eventually we realized we didn't know each other's age. I assumed she was 20 something and she thought I was too. Turns out she is 19 and I'm 32. Is that just a little too weird even if we both readily admit it's not a big deal? She seems more mature than other girls her age, maybe because of a rough childhood and I just seem to look and act younger than others my age. Plus I've gone back to college for a master's degree. Most people that say this is a problem only mention pop culture references like it's important that we grew up watching the same shows but we both agree there's more to live than that. We have many other things in common like past experiences, thoughts and feelings. Really my only problem is how others might pass judgment on us. So I'm wondering what people here think.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • There is no problem here. It's a good learning curve for her to be with someone much 'older' and you can learn something from her too. Age is just a number, we can act 'younger' but we don't have to be immature like the the actual early 20 something adults.

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    • Seeing how most people here are quick to predict the end of the relationship for you and are on the negative side of things. I'll say, to hell with that and just enjoy who you get to be with, life is about experiencing and not many people get to be with somebody because they are subjected to negative criticisms coming from themselves and most people in society.

What Girls Said 6

  • I'm in a situation VERY similar to this except I'm 22 and he's 35. I think he's amazing and I was actually brought up old school anyway so all those "shows and music" etc I know anyway. I'm the same very mature for my age and have been through a fair bit. I honestly think a relationship could work between us because we both make up for what eachother lacks. And having been through so much we openly know what we want in life and in a partner. I'm an intellectual as well and I appreciate being able to have a conversation with someone at face value about any topic. I am intimidated though. He's lived with a woman and had a fiancee at one point, those are things I haven't experienced for myself yet. I am fully independant have been for a long time but the seriousness of a relationship like that bothers me, only because I'm not sure if he'll view me as an equal or as in comparison to his older ex. I have nothing but respect for them but I don't want him to treat me different because of my age. I'm in no hurry to settle down as most 20 somethings are, I've been through enough in life to know what to appreciate and if it's the same for you then I say go for it. People will always be judging and I have to admit it bothered me a bit too, but people my own age are just so immature or have been silver spooned their whole lives. Would you really give up your happiness because someone else may judge you? That someone may never have what you have. Every relationship is different and if you feel that you have an amazing connection you should pursue it. Life is way too short to deny these things, who cares what everyone else thinks? They'll only be talking about you until the next best thing comes along. People your own age will also most likely have baggage, this is your fresh start. Show people it can work, prove the system wrong :)

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  • It could work... Totally depends on how you two are in general. Try not to worry what people think.
    For reference, I met my boyfriend when I was 20 and he was 32. We've been together for two years.

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  • No, if you feel you guys are on the same wave length and can relate with each other, I don't think you've got any issues here. Screw what society says, they'd judge you no matter what you do.

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  • Who the fck cares what other narrow minded people think, you obviously really like each other. Go for it

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  • I personally couldn't do it but I'm sure some people can. The difficult part is often the "stage" in your life but if you are on the same one, it's not really a problem. You'd just have to deal with people's reaction.

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  • My ex was 46 when I was 18 and I had kid with him

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    • To me 28 years difference is a lot. I am with someone who is 13 years older than me. Before now I was with just one person older than me and she was 3 years older. Since you had a kid with him when your child turns 18 the dad will be at least 64 if not older and could mistakenly be taken for being the grandfather. What did you see in him?

    • Tbh I liked his personality he lived with his mum , had no car no job 6 kids i started to like his personality then we ended up together he got a job and that but then started threatening me with sucide then started hitting me , not letting me out accusing me of cheating , stealing from me and even put drugs in my drink. Turns out he was cheating to , he then moved in with a 46 year old woman and stop bothering with his son but he would take a overdoes every time I tried to leave him. Never again would I go for a older man

    • He was extra nice at first tho so that's why I got involved with him

What Guys Said 5

  • If it works, it works. Its probably a little more than what's desirable on paper, but whatever. True about the pop culture references though. I have a lot of friends that are 21, 22 and we're definitely off on that level. I'm like "Muppet Babies was THE SHIT, SON!", and they're just like "The fuck are Muppet Babies?" Oh well...but in seriousness, whatever. Some people may judge, but as a wise man once said, "Fuck 'em..."

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  • The average 19 year old and average 32 year old might not be able to sustain a relationship or connect well but you're not the statistical average male and she's not a composite average of all 19 year old women. You're you. She's her. You like each other. Enjoy.

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  • Well, i always prefer a age different on my Relationship about a minimum 5 years !
    I think the girls grow up faster than boys, but in your case, if you don't have any problem at the moment, you will be safe in the future :)
    But if you can understand each other, and in my vision, there is no problem at all if there is not any problem between you !
    Good luck.

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  • Stop worrying. Just go for it. Society's thoughts changes frequently. You're not committing a crime.

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  • I think it's a bad idea. You two are in totally different stages of life. But that's just my opinion.

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    • Sometimes people at different stages of life workout and sometimes they don't. Some times people on the same stage of life work out and sometimes they don't

    • I still think it's an extra issue thrown into an already complicated endeavor but do what you feel is right. Chances are you've already made your decision and your just looking for some confirmation.

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