I suffer from depression. I have battled depression for many years and I make an effort to fight it. I am not where I need to be compared to a person without depression but I am constantly trying to do better. I've dated a woman for a year and four months. We were on our way to getting married and she said she couldn't handle my depression issues and broke up with me. It appears none of my relationships worked out in the past because of my depression issues. A person wouldn't know I had it unless I told them but they would think I was anti social. I am a kind, nice, caring, thoughtful, faithful, loving, loyal man with a sense of humor. I do have my hang ups like normal men do which I work on. I am similar to an introvert but I do like spending time with women that are special to me. I do have my hang ups because of depression which makes me have to try much harder to do normal things. But I do accomplish them with effort and time. Once I share with someone that I have depression issues, it seems like my relationships go down hill after that. I guess they put two and two together and notice the reason why I do this or don't do that is because of depression. I'm not totally sure. If I was someone you would date from a point that you didn't know I have depression issues, would you continue dating me once you found out I did have depression issues?
I have a depression problem. Would you date me?
What Girls Said 21
@tamashi00 Everyone has their own individual baggage. Yours my friend is very insignificant baggage compared to mosts. If depression is impairing to your daily life then work on managing it. Would I date you? Yes though, my baggage might put you into a chronic depression.
I have depression currently and my boyfriend doesn't mind. He helps me quite a lot, and I don't know what I'd do without him. The only reason I'm in a relationship is because we both actually can work it out and he knows how I am. If I need him I let him know and he knows what to say and do. I don't know how he does it.1
No, I wouldn't. I've had depression, but luckily got past it so I can sympathise with you. It's just that I'm in such a different place in my life now that I just don't want people to drag me down emotionally. In the comments you said your depression affects your motivation, and that would drive me nuts. I'm very proactive and enjoy doing as many things as possible. I'd want a partner who's the same.
That being said, I am no where near as sensitive and compassionate as other women.1
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you seem a nice person...i won't mind i will date you but you should have a follow up with a therapist until you really feel better1
You sound like a very nice guy, and I admire you for fighting depression each and every day because it isn't easy at all. Personally, I believe that someone should only be in a relationship when they are happy with themselves, so they can share that happiness with someone they are fond of. Of course, we will have days where we aren't so hAppy but by that, I mean that you are pleased in your own skin and that you're confident about your capabilities and persona.
My advice, stop worrying about a relationship for now and focus on yourself. Through the process of healing yourself, you might find someone who will support you, but you gotta help yourself first.1
Yes I would date you. I have come to learn that people who suffer with depression are more real/human and genuine. I find it very refreshing and as soon as someone mentions that they suffer with depression I just think, 'yes! Someone who I can open up to'
By the way I suffer with bipolar!1
Before thinking about a relationship, you should consider yourself.
Forget about the girls. This is not right time to do it.0
No I wouldn't. I think its selfish to go in a relationship when you have so many issues ots different if you develop them while were dating but if you had them before me then no I wouldn't. You need to go see a therapist and deal with your issues before you allow someone to share your life with you0
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Work on yourself before u get into a relationship. I have lows but I am not depressed but I feel horrible sometimes which is one of the reasons why I don't date. I want to work on myself before I can have a relationship. Do you take depression tablets? It should help you regulate your emotions if you do.0
I would say take care of yourself and get better before getting into another relationship. The old saying-"you can't love someone else until you learn to love yourself"? Very true. Have you seen a therapist? Get well soon.0
I guess they find it too much trying to motivate you. Well not really, if it dampens my moods too.0
I suggest you solve the despression problem first. being aware of it, as you obviously are, is an important first step. now don't ignore your condition and seek help.0
I have this problem too, sort of. From what I've heard my depression is much worse than yours. I don't really make an effort to be better (up until very recently). It's gotten to the "why bother" state for me. And I don't usually have to tell people I'm depressed after they have a conversation with me. They can usually tell by my physical appearance. I always have dark circles around my eyes and small bags. My face is pale. I never really smile because it feels really hard to do so. I dress in dark clothing, but that's more of just a personal style for me.
And when I'm in relationships I do try my best to be a better person for my significant other, but they seem to grow tired of me, and I do go out and whatnot, but it feels more like a chore than anything. Still, I do try for the other person, and I am currently getting help, but for some reason that's not enough for some people.
They just want me to magically be happy or something. I guess they don't really understand how depression works. But I always let them know I'm depressed before it turns serious just so they can decide if they want to deal with that. And apparently they do, but I guess it gets old? I don't know. Maybe they just want to see how it is to date the depressed girl or something.
I personally would date somebody else who is depressed because I understand it and I can look past that. And I'd love to make them happy however I could, even if it's only for a second. Depression can make somebody feel very lonely, and I don't like feeling lonely, but it seems like people don't want me because I'm depressed. It's like this never ending vicious cycle.
And most people won't understand so I guess they wouldn't date somebody who is depressed, or they would but they would think "this act of depression is getting old," like one of my ex's said. They must just be curious and that's why they date me or something. I honestly don't know.
But I would date you. That's just my opinion.0
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If I would date a depressed guy? Yes, but only if he is under treatment. I suffer dysthymia (which is chronic depression, but less severe, and a year ago I was diagnosed with double-depression). Anyhow, I understand you, and I wouldn't have a problem trying to socialize with someone with depression, but as I'm about to finish my treatment, I think a relationship will only be healthy if the other guy is under treatment too.0
It would be hard for me to give an accurate answer since you've only told us a fraction of what really goes on with you. I would actually have to be in a relationship with you to be able to decided whether I'd stay or leave. It completely depends on how you handle it in reality and what you do and say. So I honestly can't say, not even hypothetically. Sorry.
I would try my best to work it out with you, but I couldn't promise staying depending on how bad it really is.
And as others have mentioned before, you should really work on yourself before getting into another relationship. Obviously the depression is ruining it for you, so you need to fight some more to get rid of it.1
I suffer from it, too. So yes I'd.0
Maybe, it depends on what you depression is, some like you say become withdrawn from others, some cheat, neglect responsibility. In a state of depression some do reckless things, harming yourself or me and not fully understand why. Then no!. I couldn't jeopardize my life for someone who doesn't wanna change or fix his :( sorry however if your seeking help then yeah.. I'll date you !!! and I'll try my best to hang in there. But if your refusing help, or if needed medication, then No!. If it's only minor depression if it's such a thing then yea, cause we get a bit moody, and become antisocial once in a while. It's pretty common more than you think. But I also know how important is "me" time, and I get that. But still need fixing.1
What Guys Said 4
Hmm, the thing with depression, and other disorders, the way I see it (this is just my perspective based on my experience), is that it comes on in waves. One day, a person can be perfectly fine, another, their consciousness is really narrowed to the issue they are struggling with. Though people might shrink from depression because of the fact that it has been formalised into some, as I say, medical disorder, with its negative connotations, similar principles apply to the likes of anger. Namely, at the core of it, is a thought, a subconscious one, that something is ultimately hopeless, so there is no point in even trying. This is where therapy or meditation can be helpful, in uncovering that thought, and putting one's attention on it. Is there some facet of your life that you feel is hopeless?
You're asking about depression in the context of dating. Now the previous analysis, should hopefully back up the idea that in fact, people with depression operate just as normal people, are just as normal people, given I believe, most people are struggling with something. So you should be wholly date-able. With some caveats however.
People with these sorts of issues, and I can say this cause I have struggled with them, are often in denial in some view I believe. By in denial, I mean, though don't fully understand the impact of this disorder. They don't understand that their reality is not reflective of reality, as is, and their behaviours can follow suit. So avoiding things, destructive behaviour, not looking after themselves, missing appointments, being clingy and needy, feeling it is 'hopeless' so why bother looking for this job, etc. This is very unhealthy, and has a knock on impact on those around you. In the same way, that people who are very angry, when you are around them, drag everyone into that spiral of negativity. So what I would say is, by all means date, but if you unravel this completely, can't you see that you will have much healthier relationships?0
Mental "Illnesses" are caused by your environment. Change what makes you depressed. Pills won't help any better than a bottle of Booze. Learn to channel that energy into positive things. Work out, change your self image and you will feel better about yourself.
Stop taking things so seriously and stop caring about the world/society. People are stupid, the world is fucked so join the party and live your life. Don't be an introvert anymore. people who are social also come from social backgrounds.
Your depression is linked to your withdrawal from people. You withdraw because you are not good with them. And it won't change unless you make it change. I had Major depression. All my life I was told so. Meds, therapy and so on does nothing. Your illness is not gene bound, your illness is not "Chemically imbalanced" ( someone talking to you does not measure brain chemicals. Even the UK did test and shown a Placebo had better effects on depression than meds ).
You have nothing to lose going out living your life. Mess up, have fun. Get shot down by women you will never see again. Who cares? if someone random came up to you and asked you if their shirt was ugly and replied yes. Should they value your random response as foundation for their life? NO so why should you fear people who have NO hold on yours?0
depression sucks dude. hang in there, I lost so many relationships due to depression and it is the worst. every day is a struggle for me as most days I don't like feeling getting out of bed. and life seems pretty pointless1
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