Is it best for someone with AS to stay away from the dating scene?

I've always wondered if someone with Aspergers, like me, should just stay just stay away from romance. No one really understands Aspergers, in spite of the vast abundance of publications on the disorder. People often associate Aspergers with mental retardation, which isn't the case. I tested my IQ and scored a healthy 118, which I'm quite proud of. But most ladies don't see it that way. They think of What's Eating Gilbert Grape or Rain Man when the hear the words "Aspergers Sydrome". I find this offensive. I mean, seriously, what facts do Hollywood motion pictures provide? None. And those movies where the nerd or "freak" got this dashing, gorgeous girl? Forget about it! The best I have going for me is...well...lack of anything better to say, the crowd of women that aren't all that good looking, but I guess we all have to make sacrifices.;_; Trust me, even a couple of old female friends I have back in my hometown say I deserve better. I could try foreign women. After all, I do criticize American romantic culture. But, I make almost no money, so there goes that idea. All of which begs the question, should an Aspie, primarily me, avoid romantic involvement with the opposite, especially, when their ideas about AS are as warped as they come?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, your primary problem is living in a country that doesn't learn or grow. IF you lived in Europe , I bet 80% of people would know exactly what Aspergers is. And you wouldn't have such a difficult time landing an attractive date (one that's genuinely interested in you).

    If you feel like there's no fertile soil in the US, and you can't go anywhere else (and you're fine with the fact of not dating), then you can quit, I presume. But maybe you don't have to quit. Maybe you can just be there, in the moment, and observe. Maybe you'll notice that person you WILL hit it off with and try dating THEN. You don't have to date just for the sake of dating...that's draining and unfulfilling at best.

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    • Yeah, I bet girls in Europe look better, their food is healthier and they have more energy to exercise. Not to mention the fact that beauty started in Europe . A lot of Americans would call me a liar.

    • Awwwww that's sweet. =)

      Americans would call you a liar because they probably don't know what you know... No surprise there...

What Girls Said 3

  • No. The right girl will like you and want to understand you. It's no different than any of us who have other disorders or just plain old hang ups.

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  • i mean you can. but you can always continue to try... and find someone. maybe someone with AS like you? there are many options

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    • One problem, there more men with AS than women with AS. It's primarily due to the fact that AS is harder to diagnose in a woman than it is in a man.

  • You have a great smile, I'm sure it'll win a girl over one day. Despite your disorder.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You date the specific not the general.

    I know quite a few married aspies.

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