Meeting guys online and your opinions, guy seems sketchy?

So there’s the is guy I’ve been talking to online and this is what his post says:

I happen 2 b 1 of those exceptionally nice guys.
I am looking for serious, thoughtful & a genuine relationship.
Im a native N.Y.’er, Im Italian, I care & I'm very thoughtful (put me to the test); I have a BS in Criminal justice & I drive, Im looking for a nice well rounded girl, I do practice chivalry in my actions ( I actually hold doors, pull chairs out, hold ur jacket for u to get in 2 & so forth)… I am a supportive guy & will stick w/u through ur best & worst times; u can run 2 me anytime w/out worry of being hurt.
Spur of the moment things & non-occasion gifts 2 & from each other, late night calls, heartwarming text messages & just the feeling of we are there 4 each other.
Most guys will not say this I’m looking for a REAL relationship
NOT looking for hook up’s.
I want & WILL love someone 4 the good & bad qualities.
( We as people, & a species, r not perfect.)
I also love 2 give & receive affection (holding hands, PDAs & so forth…) Im an honest & open person & don’t play games.
Don’ be shy I don’t bite & Im NOT a bully. I actually despise bullies.
Id prefer y in a hoodie & sweats.
I don’t fall in love easy, but when I do, I really fall in love. I would rather b by myself than just settle for being w/someone.
Im sure u girls read the same stuff & think that all guys are the same; Im not, Im actually a decent person. I have 2 sisters I wouldn't want hurt or have them go out w/jerks; therefore I am not 1 of those jerks. If I send u a message its because Im genuinely interested in u & NOT looking 4 games nor do I fire off 1,001 copy & paste messages.
LOVE Apple picking in the Fall. Pumpkins work 2.
u like cuddling, kissing, going out to dinner with a nice glass of wine, & slow dancing 2 a romantic song…by all means contact me.

Updates:
Now we have talked on the phone once & he has been very nice. But the second day, he texted me talking about sexual stuff. Im not into talking about that before meeting him in person and
I don’t want to talk about that till we really get to know each other because I don’t want to think that’s only what he wants. So should I pursue this guy? Or wait till I meet him? What are your thoughts and advice?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you haven't even had one date and he's mentioned sex. That says he wants sex. Most guys online are creeps. Some aren't though. Just like when you meet someone in day to day life. Some are after one thing. A rare few aren't. Just got to filter through and look for red flags. They would be phone calls late, short notice meeting up, asking for dirty pics, mentioning sexual stuff very early on, guy not asking about you or your personal life etc? Also inviting you to his place and not wanting to go out in public shows he wants one thing. Be weary :)

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    • Yeah the last guy I broke up with, he was neither of those things. We had sex after 6 months of dating and we were together for 4 years. Sadly it ended because of complications in the relationship. Mostly about him which he admits.

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    • Yeah he is definitely not a good guy. Reason I listed the above is as I had an ex who was just after one thing. Your better then that

    • Thanks!

What Guys Said 10

  • Hahaha what a sales pitch he put on.However with online and in person you never really meet the real person for a few weeks anyway. We both men and women do and say the right thing to be more likeable and the true colors begin to show a few weeks or months later. I say go out for coffee or lunch to get better acquainted with him and see he talks like the salesperson above or just flirts with you sexually the whole time you are together. Then you'll know if he is real or just looking for a hookup.

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    • True. I need to go somewhere public. Hopefully make sure I have a friend or something go to the same place but they will hide in the back. Also better to meet during the day.

    • I never say the "right thing." I guess that's why I've been single for two years lmao.

  • talking about sex how?

    I would say it is a red flag when someone starts talking about sex in a second conversation but I guess it depends on the nature of the conversation.

    I also think a red flag is saying that you don't copy and paste stuff because all that stuff he said sounded pretty much like a form letter. it's not to say that if he does copy and paste it, it's a bad thing but him claiming it isn't would be a red flag

    A general rule is, if something sounds too good to be true then it probably is and I do get that "too good to be true" vibe.

    that said you could keep chatting with him and see if anything else sparks concerns for you

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    • It started off with him saying that I'm beautiful and sexy. That he wants to kiss his screen then me. He also said, "you're not going to want to let me go.." He asked if I'm affectionate and I said I am. Then he says he likes warmth in a girl. Then he says he's gonna go take a shower and that I can think about him wet and naked. Then he assumes that I'm not a virgin, which I'm not. Since I'm 31, he said it would be a problem if I still was a virgin. I asked why would that be a problem? and he said, "At this age a virgin? Sounds funny." Then "What about sex do you like? Your fav position? Do you like oral? Talking about sex is turning me on. Where would we be doing it? Maybe a motel? Are there any by you? When's the last time you had sex? " That's all what he asked me.

    • yeah those aren't red flags. they are flashing lights and sirens

  • Don't meet him. Real, genuine guys don't start sexting you right away like that. They talk about real things.

    It's good that your spidey sense turned on. Don't just go for profiles where the guy says all that nice shit. Also don't just go for profiles where the guy is a stud. You never know if the dude is better looking in person anyway.

    If you want further info to try and pick apart profiles message me. I have a profile up. You can view it and ask me questions on it... and I'll give you honest answers. I ain't trying to date you either, you're probably across the country or something lol.

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  • Online dating is the same as real life. It just has a worse reputation because of all the fear-mongering the public so adores. Basically, 95% if guys will give you the sales pitch like the one you see above to convince a girl to try and give him a chance. Then, once he thinks she's interested he'll start pressing for the sex he wants. From there, the guy can choose to move on or stay. It works like that in real life. It works like that online. The only differences are in the details, but the big picture looks a hell of a lot the same. In any case, this guy seems like a player and manipulator. Most girls like that even though they shouldn't. It's your choice where this goes from here. I'll just say if you have self-respect for your integrity and your body, I'd move on to someone who isn't so blatantly hypocritical. From what you said, he basically revealed his whole "pitch" to be false before he even met you in person.

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    • online dating is not real life. online dating is much more superficial and most guys on there are looking for just sex.

    • That describes the people I know in real life to a T. I think it's exactly the same.

  • If he talks about sex, he wants sex.

    Meeting people from the Internet is... Different. I have been on a couple dates through tinder and I had sex with 2/4 on the first night.

    If you do meet him, don't go to his place or let him pick you up unless you're willing to have sex with him. If you aren't then meet him at a coffee shop or go to dinner and drive separately. This lets him know you aren't going to sleep with him immediately. If you go to his house for a movie then you're putting yourself in a bad situation for what you want. Try to stay away from movies in general. Even at the theater

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    • Well I don't drive because I live where I can walk everywhere. So I would just meet him someplace in my area.

  • a majority of guys who go to dating sites and all just want sex. its hard to find a nice guy who wants to settle down online

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  • If he's talking about sex before meeting you, then he just wants to meet you for sex. If he was looking for a relationship then he would really want to get to know you.

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    • I'm having doubts about meeting him now. I'll just move on to someone else.

  • For me personally I don't really like online dating.

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  • Sounds like a good beta.

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  • "I happen 2 b 1 of those exceptionally nice guys. "

    Yeah... guy seems shady

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What Girls Said 4

  • Don't focus on that text online, he can say whatever he wants. He could be a 70 year old bald man with a grey beard for all we know. Ok, that was too much, but you get my point (and you would've heard it on the phone). I would overlook the sex talk the first time, just ignore it and talk about some other stuff. If he brings it up a second time, let him know that you're not into that pervy talk with some random stranger.

    What I would do is stay in touch with him, but not get my hopes up. Keep talking and maybe eventually you can meet up and get to know him in real life and not just online/through texts/calls. Then you'll know if it was worth it.

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  • Interesting he went to such lengths to describe what a "good guy" he is, only to start talking sex before you've even met up. Sounds like he's all talk and no walk.

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  • No, he sounds desperate for sex lol.. another flaker as usual.

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    • So hard meeting some good guys. Maybe online dating isn't for me.

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    • Yeah I used it 6 years ago. Unless it changed.

    • It sure has.

  • Too long, didn't read.

    But if your intuition is telling you something's wrong, listen to it.

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