What's Up With This Guy? Does He Have A Problem?

There's a guy I like and we've worked together in the past, but were only face to face for a few days last years. Long story short, I do like him. I can tell that he likes me as he was flirty in person.

The issue is some of the things he does. When we were all together as a group working on a project, he isolated himself a lot that 4-5 days. He seemed to need lots of time alone.

He was pretty moody, very moody. Often talking and seeming okay then in a flash, he'd seem off in his own little world, cold and distant. So mood swings were apparent to everyone, and there was nothing being said/done to spark any changes in him.

He still does this in our communication, being friendly/open warm and then disappearing for days or longer at a time.

He tends to be secretive, too.

I can't know someone so well who is 2500 miles away, and I only spent that limited time in person, but it's kind of repeated in his email/calling/texting patterns, too.

I'm wondering if this guy secretly has a drug problem, or perhaps even some condition that requires him to be on medication?

What do you think?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It could be any one of a number of things. It could just be his personality and how he deals with situations such as being in a group. He may just have a loner personality, has difficulty coping with the group environment after awhile, gets moody, then shuts down in his quiet space.

    Or it could be that he either has a condition requiring medication or that he IS on medication for some condition. For example, common meds for depression, or antiseizure meds, or migraine meds (antidepressants, antiseizure meds...), and many other meds can cause a person to act that way. I've been on quite a few that changed my personality, causing me to be irritable, forgetful, distant, moody,...

    And there's always the possibility of a drug problem.

    I have a friend that sounds like him that I'm trying to figure out too. Very moody. It seems the slightest little thing will make her snap and then I won't hear from her for weeks or months. She won't respond to texts... Scares the hell out of me. She's a great person, I just don't understand the moods.

    Obviously it's going to be difficult to figure him out or figure out exactly why he's that way if he's private and not into sharing. Do the best you can to encourage him but be careful not to alienate him.

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    • Yeah, I can't put my finger on it, he was like night and day at times, sometimes great to be around/fun and then spaced out/cold. I certainly wouldn't judge him or alienate him whatever it was, I'd try to be supportive and help, but I can't say that if he doesn't open up at all :(

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