I need advice. What should I do?

I'm in a dilemma with two guys. I really like this one guy who I met in September. Things are progressing relatively slowly. We are both shy around each other and he has somewhat asked about hanging out, but I've either unintentionally rejected him or forgot how to agree and just stare at him.

Guy 2 I have known since kindergarten. I consider him a good friend. Things with his girl are going down the drain and he knows about guy 1. It is rumored that he wants to take me on a date and I've had the hunch he has developed a crush for me. We work together at my second job.

The issue is I still really like the first guy and am crushing on him and want to see where things go. I also refuse to go on dates with guys who have girlfriends and I dont want to be a rebound. I also dont want to reject him because I'd feel bad. And if I really like a guy I am one to work through those feelings before pursuing someone else. What should I do? :/


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Most Helpful Guy

  • When it comes to Guy 1, who you really like, I would suggest you place your attention on him for the moment.

    He is single and interested in you. That's a great thing!

    It may be challenging with you two both being shy. That means at times he will have to step out of his shell and you will have to do the same.

    Perhaps you can call him and invite him to hang out, if that's something you're interested in doing and willing to do.

    When it comes to Guy 2, I would suggest you continue to be friends with him, but don't pursue anything more than that, especially while he is still in a relationship with someone else.

    Even if he does break up with the person he's with now, don't feel obligated to go out with him just because he is single.

    Also, telling him that you aren't interested in dating him that soon after his break up is not a bad thing nor is it you rejecting him. It's you letting him clearly know what your dating standards are.

    He will likely still be carrying around baggage from his past relationship.

    If you do like him, allow him to get out of that relationship, have some time to adjust to being single again and make sure he is over his ex before even considering dating him.

    I pray that something I've shared is helpful. Have a very blessed day!

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    • This was so so so helpful! Thank you! Guy 1 has made some moves like I said, but I'm a moron who forgets how to act around him. You are on key about guy 2 and I feel the same way. I just don't want to reject him because I hate rejection. Very well said! Thanks so much :)

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    • Thank you so much! :) I may overthink things, but my intentions are always good-hearted. I hope you have a wonderful day yourself! :)

    • You're welcome and thank you too!

What Guys Said 2

  • #1 is taking too long to make his move. You snooze, you lose.

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    • Yeah, but unfortunately (well I don't know if it is unfortunately but whatever) I still really like him and like that he isn't pushy and going slow. I'm not used to that. At this rate I'd much rather not have anyone like me because this is too much to think about haha

    • #hotgirlproblems

    • haha thanks, but I really think it's just because I have big boobs and a small waist.

  • Guy 1 it's obvious

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    • What should I do about guy 2 though if he asks me on a date? I don't want to completely reject him because we are friends, but I still really like guy 1.

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    • Yeah but they won't only be a friend when you date them people your in a relationship with you treat differently than you would with just a friend. lol good luck it's your choice really at the end of the day if you chose guy 1 you will have to tell your guy 2 friend that you are seeing guy 1 eventually there is no easy way of putting it.

    • Yeah, well I really like guy 1 so I am going to see how that goes. Guy 2 is already aware of guy 1 so he shouldn't be surprised.

What Girls Said 1

  • Take it from me, if you still like guy number 2, things won't go perfectly with guy number 1.
    I like a friend of mine and I started dating another guy but my friend was really in the way. So things went bad with the guy I dated.

    I think you should go for guy 1 when the time is ready and you can tell him that.

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    • That makes a lot of sense. I really like guy 1 and I like how slow he is going. It's refreshing to not hear overly-sexualized comments thrown at me. I just don't want to make things awkward for guy 2 because I still value the friendship and all, but there is something about guy 1 that is making me want to hold on.

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    • Exactly. Good luck girl!

    • Thank you! :)

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