I want to ask out a former professor, but I'm unsure if I should call or email - I only have her number because she gave it in class?

I'll stress again that she is a FORMER professor. Not only that, I'm also recently graduated, so hopefully there aren't any ethical problems in her mind.

I want to ask her out to dinner, but I'm unsure what would be more appropriate here - calling or emailing. She gave out her phone number in class for class purposes, and I wouldn't want to seem too intrusive. On the other hand, I've never emailed someone to ask them out and it seems less-than-ideal. What's the best plan?

Additional fact: I don't have any way to find her in-person any time in the near future.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • it has nothing to do with ethical problems it has to do with whether or not she will say yes after all it is her decision. if your professor gave out her number for class purposes I don't think you should communicate with her by asking her out through that number. wonder if you call her or text her and she is up telling you that she is married or she has a boyfriend? think about it if she is that attractive you won't be the first guy who used to be her students to ask her out. one thing I can say for sure is do not text someone asking someone out.

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What Girls Said 4

  • something like dinner is already a bit too much of a date, me thinks. it involves dressing up for the evening and having to go back home late. i'd suggest something more informal, like coffee or lunch, so everyone's got the time to suss things out and leave when bored. also, i would not use the number she expressively said it's for class purposes only, since you're not even in that class anymore. ask her via email, if she's got another number you could contact her on.

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    • Your comment was the most surprising to me - is dinner really that much of an imposition? If so, I might need to change my typical asking-out strategy. We live in separate towns, so lunch is out of the question unless I go for a weekend date, which I wouldn't push for on a first date unless she wanted it.

      I don't foresee there being another number to call her on - the number she gave was her mobile phone. She also didn't come right out and say it was for class purposes, but I felt safe inferring that she didn't anticipate suitors calling her up on it. That's the big thing that gave me pause.

    • well i don't know which kind of 'relationship' you built with her while you were still a student.. if you were flirting a bit already, if you used to talk outside of class, or whatever, or if this has been hidden inside of you all this time and all of a sudden you decided to let her know. it's tricky because you might even find out she's seeing someone already, or even married with kids, or even lesbian.. who knows? your question in here came across quite bold, like if you were 100% sure she'll say yes. dinner is a tad demanding, because it sort of forces the woman to keep free one evening just for you. not mentioning the fact it's a bit out-dated, even for 40somethings, and includes the ultimate 'bill embarassment'. i've been bored shitless myself when asked out for dinner on a 1st date, cause if you find out there's no 'chems', it drags out forever. plus, eating IS an intimate thing. i don't know how well you 2 know each other, but dinner comes AFTER you at least know she likes you.

    • at this point just go for the phone call, but keep it flattering AND casual at the same time. coffee will do, to catch up and 'test the field' first..

  • Call her and ask her!! Life's too short! Good luck ! :)

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  • If you're sure it's her personal number call because it might be hard to remember a email but a voice might help.
    Also make sure she's single

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  • Call and ask. I would be flattered if I liked you too!!

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    • Thanks, with your comment it looks like the "call her" camp has it (unless a pile of answers come in later telling me I'm an idiot to call).

What Guys Said 3

  • phone call. that's your best shot.

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  • you should call her

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  • You have an advantage in that you can call her as she *knows you* a little bit.

    The reason I say this is because you can talk and flirt a little bit (On a relatively quick call no more than ten minutes). Texting a girl without building the initial attraction rapport is extremely difficult.

    Your situation is kind of tougher than average which is why I say use your confidence and just go with the flow on the phone.

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    • Ha, you make the assumption I have confidence at all! I have enough to ask, at least. Its not the end of the world if she says no, but it'd be great if she said yes.

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