So here goes nothing. I need some serious advice. I have been divorced from my Wife of 8 years since Sept of 2013. It has been a long and painful process but I finally feel like I am ready to get out there and move on. One of the reasons I feel this way is because of my relationship with a co worker. I met her in September of last yr and have slowly but surely fallen for her. She is everything I have ever wanted in a relationship, but she is dating someone and has been for a yr (he happens to be a friend of mine). I have hung out with her a few times outside of work and the most recent encounter led to a discussion about a hypothetical relationship between us if she was available. We both agreed that we would love to date eachother. The next day I did something I shouldn't have done, but I wrote her a long email letting her know exactly how I felt about her. I know it was selfish but I couldn't hold it in anymore. She responded and told me that if things were different for her (ie if she was single) things would be different between us but as of right now she loves her bf one way, and me in another. She said she knows that us hanging out is like playing with fire, but she still wants me in her life. She also told me that she isn't in a good place in her relationship now. Her bf is broke, lives with his parents, has no ambition, and is clinically depressed. So my question is this...do I continue hanging out with her outside of work? Do I stop all communication outside of work? Do I just focus on being a good friend in hopes that she will wake up and leave her bf? After my divorce I never thought it would be possible to feel like this for another woman but I am in love with her and I don't want to give up on this.
Most Helpful Girl
I think the situation you both find yourselves in is very unfortunate but I also believe that, if she really felt as strongly about you as you do for her and her current bf really is as bad as she's making him out, she would act more on her feelings. She said herself that 'if things were different' you and her would be an item, as it is, they're not different and she doesn't seem to be that proactive in changing anything.
Also consider that although you feel ready to move on, it hasn't been that long since you left a long term relationship. I would hate for you to go from one bad situation straight into another.
If I were you I would try to get more out of her, I understand you are considerate of her feelings and relationship status, but unless you have any certainty at all of her true feelings then I wouldn't hang around. Plenty of people are in a 'bad place' relationship wise, plenty of people sort relationship problems out and plenty of people never really leave.
I hope things work out for you, but please look after yourself emotionally!1