Do guys really want to hear the brutal truth?

Hey,
So i had a discussion with one of my friends about how girls reject guys and generelly about "Men and Women Honesty". We talked about how according to him women tend to lie way to much to comfort guys. Which i have to admit is something i do. I just never really realized that that is a problem to guys so i wanted to hear if that is something that bothers just my friend or more men. For example you meet a girl in a bar you don't know each other so there is no way of you ever finding out she lied. Would you guys rather have her tell you that she has a boyfriend or that you're not her type/ she's not attracted to you? What about you girls? Do you have any expiriences with such situations?

  • I'd rather hear the truth
    64% (7)92% (23)83% (30)Vote
  • I'd prefer the lie
    36% (4)8% (2)17% (6)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think something in the middle is good. If you're "harsh" you're considered to be judgmental but if you're lying you're considered to be just that... a liar.

    The main thing is if you're not interested to just not lead them on and cut things off so he doesn't feel like trying harder is necessary or that there is some chance. The "middle" part I mentioned is to just be polite about it. There's no one answer for every guy though.

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What Guys Said 16

  • When I find out a woman has been lying to me about *anything* it pisses me off. Why? Because I believe you. And if I love you, then it's the same as you spitting in my face.

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  • Most females tell lies to protect themselves (fear of a guy acting violently during a rejection, easing her mind to not hurt someone's feelings, etc.).

    The idea that females lie for the sake of the guy is bullshit.

    ----

    One thing I have learned with females from a young age is that the more blunt and upfront the guy is, the more honest the girl is.

    If a guy comes off as "too nice", the girl will lie to save HERSELF the anguish of hurting his feelings.

    ----

    So in a twisted way, the more direct and blunt guy is more respected because he gets told THE TRUTH.

    While the "nice guy" gets DISRESPECTED because he gets lied to.

    Think about it.

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    • Just because you personally haven't seen something happen doesn't mean it doesn't. You're a man so you have no experience in what it's like to be approached or catcalled by strange men anyway...

    • i don't think its a disrespect towards the "nice guy". its true that if a guy approaches me "blunt and upfront" im more likely to tell him his not my type but only because i find that way of approaching someone rude and i generally don't care about hurting rude peoples fillings. The nice guy on the other hand did everything right he came up to me in a nice humanly way i just happen not to be attracted to them but someone out there will be so before he thinks something is wrong with him and stop approaching people id rather have him think "oh she would have gone out with me but she has a boyfriend" Females aren't as selfish and mean as you guys make us out to be

  • I'd like the hear the brutal truth about your everything -- your entire philosophy with guys. And I suspect it's reaaally freaking bad, and why you're all sworn to secrecy.

    Let's admit it

    - you're only attracted to 5% of guys you meet
    - it's all decided on a whim-based feeling, or your likely racist-euro-standards of beauty (you have to be an 'akon' fan or something if you date "black guys" like we're a different entity or flavor)
    - he's gotta be a 6 feet cuckold while you're 5'2
    -- he definitely should not be smiling, honest, nicer than you, or nervous or average height on the approach.

    So: **
    most guys are better off -not doing anything themselves -- & becoming the lucky selected one that privately gets stalked by you,

    because unless you're already obsessing over him (and doing nothing about it), 99% of guys that approach you are wasting their time.

    Am I getting any of this right?

    -- no nice guys. literally. it's more fun if he lies and treats me so-so so I have to try and *win him over with my personality* (COUGH: use my TITS, and this makes you feel good if it 'works.' -- i. e. he pretends he doesn't care then months later lets you ''hit it.'')

    -- Am I right? Is this the sick world of women, and thus mutual dating? (for the lucky straight ones attracted to the female body but can't frickin' understand or ever want the mind)

    I'm not entirely going to blame anyone personally, so don't be afraid to wo-Man-up.

    I frankly think the world in general has some pretty self-abolishing motivations.

    Is any female every willing to tell the truth on all this?

    I've been waiting over a decade to see ONE with critical thinking skills who can.
    I'm all ears.

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  • If I meet a girl at the bar, and her boyfriend isn't with her, she's not in a relationship for that night anyway. You don't go to the bar all dressed up without your boyfriend while intending to stay faithful.

    It's either a lie, or she's open to cheating, so that excuse means nothing to me, other than she's either a bitch for lying, or a bitch for doing that to her bf.

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  • Well I believe that women lie but men do lie more often. Men usually lie because we're trying to get laid. Women lie for a bunch of other reasons. Trust me men know women lie to them, it's just that as long as she's giving us some, we don't care.

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  • The number one rule in a relationship: be open and honest with each other.
    No lies, not even to someone you meet for the first time. Imagine you become a couple... what will you do with the lie? When will you tell him?
    That very moment will probably be a difficult one, if not the end of your relationship.
    If you think it's delicate what you need to say, than tell the guy it may be delicate! But tell him :-)

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  • I generally prefer the truth. But since i am quite shy when approaching a girl it might be better in the end to lie about it. If you can tell the truth in a nice way so i don't feel hurt in the end it would be truth all the way.

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  • Funny thing happened to my friend. He went to go ask this girl out and she said she has a boyfriend... but in the end she was single.

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  • I'd rather hear the truth, half the time girls leave you wondering and that is a painful place to be.

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  • I wouldn't really care either way. I wouldn't take offense :P I don't get angry over that stuff.

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  • I don't like lied to but i don't like bar scenes

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  • I don't like being stringed along or lied to given that situation so the truth is what I wan't.

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  • Irrelevant. I can read them before I say anything.

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  • Truth all the way. I'm a tough guy, I can take it.

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  • Tell the truth. I hate girls who just try and say what you want to hear rather than the truth.

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  • guys would much rather hear you say "i have a boyfriend" then "you're not my type" or "i'm not attracted to you" because being told you're not a girls type or you're not attractive over and over would crush a guys confidence, and make him depressed.

    next thing you know he'll be one of these women hating desperate guys on gag whining and bitching about women.

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    • Excatly. I would much rather hear the "lie" too. I feel like any sane person can only take rejection till to a certain point. as the person being approched you have to at least honor the approachers courage to come up to you. Before i have someone think "oh something is wrong with me" id much rather have them think "she won't go out with me cause she has a boyfriend" if they'll never find out am i really that bad of a person

What Girls Said 7

  • According to experience, it's best to lie.
    Most guys when approaching you come full of compliments and stuff, but things can become ugly quickly if you turn them down with honesty, even if you're trying to be nice.

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  • I think they'd prefer a tactful response...over a harsh truth or an implausible lie. Some girls suck at lying so it makes the charade horribly obvious.

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  • My ex lied about wanting to be with me and I asked him multiple times at the beginning of our relationship if wanted an us and he said yes but only because he didn't want to hurt my feelings. It's not like he didn't like me but he didn't want a relationship with me. Needless to say I cried for a good 2 weeks whenever I heard or said his name or anything reminded me of him. Hardest Breakup EVER!

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    • What a dickhead.

    • Yeah and then I found out that after we broke up he deleted me as a Facebook friend (this was BEFORE he broke up with me) and then like a week later I see that his status says "In a Relationship" and he never changed his status on Facebook w/me and the reason I didn't do it either was because he didn't. I guess I'll be forever alone :/

  • nope never been in one of those situation but i rejected a couple of guys..and well yeah i totally agree with you..i gave lame reasons for that but to two of them i said the truth that i want ready to be in a relationship and i beleive they took it pretty well..so it just depends of the girl and how she handles it :)

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  • I usually read their eyes to see if they lie or not ;) Personally I think truth is always better than lies :)

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  • i don't want to hurt others so i sugar-coat
    and bubble-wrap. *pop*

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  • It's often not safe to tell them the truth.

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