Do you think this is terrible dating advice?

thoughtcatalog.com/.../

You don't have to read them all. You just skim over it, it quite repetitive any ways. It could be mostly summarised as

- let him do all the approaching and bringing up important issues
- play hard to get. Be busy or if you're not pretend you are
- don't ever tell him everything about you or otherwise don't show vulnerability (referring to a relationship I assume)

There are some good things obviously like be honest and treat him with respect, but overall apparently some people in the comments though the advice was so bad it was supposed to be a satire

I've read the book it's based on, which is by the way a best-seller and has been for years, trust me it's not a satire. So do you think the advice they give is that bad? Or do you think it's overall very good advice


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think that those rules put way too much weight on the guys shoulders.
    If women made every guy jump through these hoops. Just so he can get to know her.
    It wouldn't take to long before the guys will say. F**k you. I'm gonna go hit up the skank down the block.

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    • Since you a bit older, would you say it used to apply to your generation?

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    • well she didn't write the book though, it was written by ellen fein.
      She just kinda summarised the book

    • Right you are I didn't see that.
      But no it didn't apply to my generation either. Maybe my fathers or grandfathers.

What Guys Said 5

  • I personally like to talk to a girl and find out as much as I can, playingb hard to get only works for very few guys.

    But most importantly its a must to understand that there is no 1 way to date, there are many things that could get a guy interested or bored. So just be yourself, if he isn't interested than it wasn't ment to be.

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  • Playing hard to get will not work on me personally: I don't like trying to change people or their minds and there are 100 other girls out there IMO. Show me interest; look at me. Make eye contact; I'll become interested if I feel potential. Some guys might want that challenge but then after they get you would they really still want you if it was for the conquest? Vulnerability usually doesn't bother me. I appreciate they are honest and open.

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  • Some of them are pretty good, as you said. Others aren't.

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    • which ones are good in your eyes

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    • I don't necessarily have a problem with any of them. It's just there's a lot of mixed messages out there and this one got bashed in the comments quite a bit I was surprised you liked so many

      Like the whole playing hard to get and letting him do all the firs steps, I don't know if that still works. It may have for a different generation, but I don't really think it does. Out of your list, that'd be 2,3,9 and 21

      And about 10, 19, 21 that seems like old fashioned concept too. Maybe it's just me, but when you're in a long term relationship, I think he should also be your best friend who you can tell everything

    • I read those hints as advice more for the beginning of a relationship rather in the middle of a long-term one.

  • lol so you want a "player" that likes the "hard to get" game.. lol go for it, it's same story at the end..

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  • I didn't look at the link but the 3 items you listed are some of the worst advice I've seen. Really bad stuff.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Yes, generally very bad. I think this advice should only be for girls who are trying to mess with a guy who only likes girls who are "Hard to get". These guys should be avoided at all costs, and dating them will only lead to disaster. They type of guys do not look for commitment, just a short to long term fling he can hump then dump. A guy who is ready for a real relationship will work with you to bring up important issues, and will want to learn more about you every day.

    BUT this information is slightly helpful for girls who want their boyfriend's attention back, or to feel a little spark fly in the wind. Sometimes showing him that you're sometimes busy with something else, he'll try to get your attention and talk more... But personally I don't want a guy like this. I've dated one and I regret it.

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