i really like this guy i'm currently dating. we've been out four times, the last of which we had sex. he initiates contact with me, talks for hours usually, and plans dates and things to do in the future. but the problem is that he is still regularly active on the dating site. we haven't had any talk of exclusivity or commitment, so i understand this is fair game, but it bothers me.
is this normal? do guys tend to continue to log on? should i discuss it with him? i don't want to be clingy.
Most Helpful Guy
Fair game? You wouldn't be asking us this question if you really thought this was fair game.
As far as I'm concerned, it became exclusive the second his dick penetrated your vagina. The problem with the world today is that there is no sense of respect. If he was respectful he would have made it clear that this was a No Strings Attached relationship he was having with you; It's not entirely his fault as you let it happen without discussing anything with him.
Nobody can tell you if it's "normal" for him to continue logging on. We all have our own modus operandi. I can tell you how I am and you can draw conclusions from it. If I started dating a chick, even after 4 dates, I would stop going online. This is out of respect and my genuine interest in pursuing you as a partner. I'm not trying to badmouth the guy and be the White Knight here - It's obvious that he's just doing what you're ALLOWING him to do. If you're allowing him to do this then by all means, go ahead. However, it's clear that you do NOT like this.
You are not clingy for having reservations about this; not even remotely. You gave him something personal, sex. You expected some sort of stability or exclusivity in return. That's how it's SUPPOSED TO WORK. The fact that this dude is continuing online says a lot about him, in my book. Again, not bad mouthing him. He's just doing what every good looking dude in his position would try to do if all they wanted was sex. AND YOU'RE ALLOWING IT.
It kinda sounds to me like you were looking for something serious. I don't think this guy is it. If you have to "discuss" it with him then you two obviously have completely different mentalities on the subject, that says to me that you'll most likely be incompatible down the line. But again, if his dick felt good then go right ahead. Nobody is judging you. Well, I'm not. Don't let my verbiage fool you... I just like being direct and I curse a lot, there's no hidden meaning here.0