How much truth is there to the saying, "You have to be happy by yourself before you can be happy with someone else?"?

I often hear the above saying when people talk about being ready for a relationship and dealing with break ups, but how much truth is there to it really?

Like in my case, I feel incredibly happy with myself and the things I'm doing, but if I'm being honest with myself I still feel like I'm lacking because I do miss having someone to share my happiness with. So in that sense I guess I'm not 100% happy, Wondering what others think of this?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I've heard that a lot too. I think it basically means that if you love yourself you will have the self confidence and happiness to love someone else as well.

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What Girls Said 6

  • For me, this saying means if you aren't happy with yourself or who you are, any aspect in your life, that misery will be brought into the relationship and your partner will feel it, and it can cause a lot of problems!!! I am going through this right now, i am not happy with who i am and it rubs off onto my boyfriend and it upsets him and causes a lot of problems and fighting and the misery piles up double onto us!

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  • Very much the truth, I think.

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  • Some truth. But it's also true that sometimes it takes someone else to help you see how awesome you are.

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  • That's fine. But as you said you are mainly happy with yourself and being single. If a person is really unsatisfied alone the mind then convinces us that the wrong people are right for us and convinces us we are in love. It is only when people are mainly happy doesn't have to be100% that can find someone who is right for them.

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  • I think relationships should add to someone's happiness but not be the source of it.

    I think the saying encourages people to have healthy relationships, rather than being dependent on their partner for emotional stability and the like.

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  • Haha there even kinda is a song about that...
    Whatever it takes - Lifehouse -> "You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me".

    I think it's oke to be not 100% happy though :D

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What Guys Said 5

  • It's a total lie. The reality is that you can never be mentally prepared for a relationship, doesn't happen, because it's not something that is static. Two people meeting up with one another on just the wrong day can change the entire course of how they interact with one another for the rest of their lives.

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  • If you look further:

    If anyone wants find happiness in them they have to suffer and has to go through many layers of personal upheavals.

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  • It's bullshit. The people, like me, who are happiest single don't even care about relationships at all.

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  • There's no truth to it. You can live a perfectly happy life alone.

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  • There's some truth to the idea that if you don't love yourself, you can't love someone else. But the phrase your giving seems like a misremembered version of that.

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