Why doesn't even a guy like this want to date me? Is it just my looks?

I met a guy online who came hear from Europe about 2 years ago, doesn't have many friends here at all, often goes to movies and things alone or with family , including his nana.

So I assumed maybe I have a chance with him. After the 2nd date, now he hasn't hinted of seeing me again unlike the last date. Its been almost a week after the 2nd date and we have barely talked, he says he's sick and all the one time I msged him he talked briefly and then said he was going to sleep because he wasn't feeling well. Now, he's also leaving for Europe later this week and will be going there for a few weeks. I'm not sure of what to text him or do? How can I not even get a guy that literally himself told me its a struggle to get a date?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • it could be anything, but i am going to say chemistry or personality

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    • Well during the movie last time we went out, he glanced at me twice I didn't look back or talk to him the ENTIRE movie. Also when I left, he waited for me at my bus stop when the bus came I quickly hugged him and hopped on the bus...is that what I'm doing wrong?

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    • so you just think its because I show no interest? If yes, then how do I show interest? I get very shy which comes off as me brushing them off

    • just like you did on the first date and i gave suggestion in the previous correspondences

What Guys Said 3

  • Depends. Do you consider yourself as attractive (not saying you have to be hot/pretty but dateable like a normal decent girl)?

    In this case though, I think he's just an awkward dude that not used to dealing with girls.

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    • I used to think I look decent, but I'm seriously doubting that now.

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    • I just don't get a guy that I viewed as uber desperate: said he would send hundreds of msgs to girls online very few replied back. Went out with 2 other girls who didn't want to date him after meeting him. He would go to clubs even by bimself to get girls but all would just make him buy drinks and then disappear. He even goes to the movies alone or with his grandma...only has one friend in the country but all cousins. Hangs out with his one friend and his friends every weekend or whatever. If a guy like this rejects me? Something has to be wrong with me for sure.

    • Some guys like it more when girls play hard to get, maybe he's just that type of guy? in any case I don't think you can try to reason based on how many friends he has or how often he seeks out other girls. Attraction is not as simple as 1+1=2. There could be many reasons why things don't work out. You don't have enough chemistry, you're not really his type, different expectations, etc. It's unreasonable to beat yourself up just because one (supposedly) desperate guy refused to be with you.

      I understand that your self-esteem has been damaged but even if you think hard about what went wrong, it's not gonna matter now. It's good that you're trying to improve yourself but do it for your benefit, not other people. If he can't see that, I'm sure other guys will.

  • What if he's actually just sick? I mean, even I'm sick right now, and would prefer not to meet anyone. I don't like being a contagious ball of sickness with my nose running constantly and overall feeling like crap.

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  • Maybe he didn't see the point in starting anything with you, if he was going to be going away so soon.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Maybe he likes your personality but don't wanna date you, maybe he doesn't find you attractive enough. Which is ok he's only one man. His opinion hardly matters. Move on.
    Don't expect anything more. Find yourself someone great!. Just be friends with the guy if you want to. But I wouldn't sweat it at all.

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    • Well I don't know. He suggested the 2nd date because he said he wants to watch such and such a movie and if I wanted to go. When I randomly said yes let's meet up, he literally looked soo shocked. As for the 2nd date I didn't look as good, I was very tired and having a bad hair day so I don't know if that's why he didn't suggest third date.

    • Well that's non sense wouldn't you say. He's pretty shallow also if I might add. He compromised his happiness because of a bad hair day! Pffft screw him !
      Idk, like I said move on if that's his biggest concern..I doubt if he look attractive 247 give me a break!! Find someone less shallow who means you well. I mean really lol. You do not need any body trying to make you feel like a piece of shit, your so much better than that, and him if that's the case. Like I said he's one man his opinion hardly even matters, reality is he's probably no good for you anyway, get real.

  • Is he albanian? I'm just asking because you said nana
    And maybe he doesn't want to talk again because he's going to Europe or he's busy!

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