Ok so I'm pist about something the girl i'm with did before we met...?

The girl im with seems like she's not very slutty, but i found out on new years she made out with 4 people and the last guy she gave head " because she like him and he was leaving the next day" she did this because she was on her period. I freaked out because i dont want to be with someone who does things as slutty as this. I told her how slutty i thought it was we got in a big fight and well now she doesn't want to talk to me or see me again. But I dont't know I dont feel like im wrong about this. Like she really isn't a slut it just bothers me that she did it and she said she doesn't regret it at all because she liked him and wasn't going to see him again. I just really dont' know how to feel about this. It really bothers me thinking about her doing that to someone else, like i know everyone has a past but I mean on the first night? Aff i dont know please help


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It is something she did BEFORE you two met. Like you said, everyone has a past and guess what? Yes, Last New Year’s IS the past. If her behavior that night is uncommon or was fueled by alcohol, then you really should just let it go. But think about this: Maybe she is embarrassed about it. Maybe the way you made her feel about it offended her and put her in defense mode and she said she didn’t regret it just to piss you off. Or maybe she is one to carry no regrets. After all, where does regret get you except negative self-talk? If it bothers you this much, then let her go. But you should realize, this day and age, a lot of girls just might have a past that you are uncomfortable with. You need to work on accepting someone for who they are and learn that those people with those pasts that disgust you, are still worthy of love. I have a past that I am not proud of (most recent disappointment to myself was 10 months ago). My boyfriend knows about my past but saw me for who I really am and it doesn’t bother him. I am loyal to him and I have NEVER done anything to make him think otherwise. And he has done things in his past that I can hardly believe and am kind of appalled by. There are going to be things that you just have to get over.

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What Girls Said 3

  • You're just hurt because you weren't her first. Which is understandable, but still pretty immature. If she's your age (25-29) then I don't know why you're so shocked?
    This is YOUR insecurity, hence YOUR problem. As long as she's faithful to you while you're in a relationship with her, I don't get why her past has to be such a big deal? Get over yourself.

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  • You are obviously not in the wrong about this situation. She shouldn't have been doing what she was doing while she's with you in the first place. Over all it's your call. You can stay with her and try to work things out or you can end it because there are many fish in the sea and a girl would respect you and your relationship together. Plus she would respect herself too to not hurt you like that. Personally for me I believe in second chances but I would very cautious

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  • She's gross if what you say is true

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What Guys Said 2

  • Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't be pissed (it DID happen before you guys met), but I wouldn't stick around.

    We obviously hold different values when it comes to romance/sex and we're not on the same page. That's a core principle and one of the things I can't let go because it really defines my values as a person. Some people would settle for it, I wouldn't, but then again I've never been afraid of being alone so, I never had much issues cutting things with people anyway.

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  • How she lived her life before you was her choice. I mean it's still her life but when in a relationship compromises have to be made by both parties.

    Before you found this out. You felt one way about her. Now you feel differently about her. Why? She is the same person.

    You aren't. This is your issue. Not hers.
    Either stop seeing her. Or accept the fact that she is not a female version of you.

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