Whats the point of approaching girls if its always going to end in rejection?

Im just wondering if there's a point of approaching girls if its always going to end in rejection?

You're either not interested in them so you dont bother, or you're interested in them and they're going to reject you


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Okay, I'm going to tell you something that you're not going to want to hear but it's the truth and by telling you I'm saving you a lot of crap.

    If you can't get women to pay attention to you, it is your fault. Period.

    Now what to do is the question here, right? I would say improve yourself, gain some confidence, talk to some girls online, see what they say, and eventually you'll get this figured out.

    But do not, I repeat, DO NOT EVER blame the women. Don't do what the MRA douche bags do. Don't try to be a pick up artist or anything like that. The "Manosphere" is your worst enemy. Do not ever, EVER take any advice from any of them at all. Ever.

    This is a problem with you, not them. Now you have to figure out what it is and work on fixing it. When you do that you'll be able to approach women and sometimes it will work out. Most of the time they don't want to be approached though, so figure out where and when it's appropriate to do that and respect them like human beings because they are. Men and women are a LOT more similar than you think.

    One more thing. If you know of any girls who like you, give them a shot unless you're just totally against it. Who knows, maybe you'll figure out they're cooler than you think. Attractive women are just people like you or me. All women are, in fact. Not a big mystery here. Just listen, learn, and be a decent human being and you'll be good.

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    • I can say this much here and now, his negative attitude is sure turn off. I want a man who I can count on to believe that he can get through a tough situation, rather than sitting there feeling sorry for himself and/or expecting someone else to hand him the answers. If you believe you will fail, you will.

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    • Great answer! To the asker, girls like confident guys. I, personally, can't stand a pessimist (male or female). Take life by the balls. Everyone likes something different. For every 10 that you are attracted to, you might find one that reciprocates. Unfortunately, many many people want the perfect 10. You can be a 4 and you still want a perfect 10 in the looks department. Guess what, the majority of the time, it doesn't work. I have heard many guys complain that the perfect 10 was probably a 3 when it came to intelligence and personality. Getting to know a person actually works. I have been able to rule out quite a few guys that way. If it's a stranger, then it's harder. Personally, I don't give my number to a guy just because he asks. There are way too many psychos in this world. There are so many instances that I could give you about why a girl rejects, but it's just too much. You need to have confidence (minus the arrogance); have a sense of humor; have an actual brain;

    • don't expect just sex; please smile and look happy; have realistic life goals; and so on. Same goes for women. I used to go after looks when I was younger, but have learned that really doesn't go far. Now, I am more observant when dealing with any guy. I pay attention to his actions and his words. I would run away from a smooth guy before the awkward guy due to sincerity.

What Girls Said 32

  • Whats the point of approaching girls if it's a 99.9999% rejection rate? If u are going to get rejected every time is it even worth a shot at all?
    In my opinion it depends on what the person is aiming for. As you're likely a heterosexual male it's probably sex in which case I'm not seeing a suitable point as this can be gotten via prostitutes.

    Though in my opinion if a person is getting rejected every time it's suited to honestly evaluate what they want and what they have to offer as well as how they are approaching gals.

    Why not save your dignity?
    I'm not seeing much dignity to be saved as it's not as if you were disrespected or violated in my opinion. It's amusing to me the extent in which guys often seemingly exaggerate rejection while diminishing acts like sexual/street harassment, street hollering, sexual assault and such when done to gals.

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    • I think both girls and guys make a bigger deal out of rejection than needs be. I mean why on earth do girls feel sorry or bad for rejecting someone and why do people make things awkward in the aftermath.

      I accept their decision, move on and have no ill feeling towards them.

    • @Consider
      I sync with your notions however considering guys like Elliot Rodgers and George Sodini I can see why gals make things awkward in the aftermath...o.O

  • Just because that one girl isn't a compatible match for you romantically, it doesn't mean you can't be friends. Then you meet her friends who might actually be a good match.

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    • Being friends with someone you want to be with romantically never works.

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    • Actually it sounds like she's got it down a lot better than you. You might want to listen and maybe learn something.

    • I'll go ahead and clarify, so that it's here if you want my suggestions. You're more likely to get a date from someone if you know you have common interests. That is the best place to start looking for compatibility. Go to a place where people who enjoy your own hobbies would already be hanging out. Try approaching a girl there. OR, do your homework, and find out if the girl you are interested in has any common interests. I personally don't know any girls that would be very happy dating a man who had nothing in common with her.

  • If you keep failing that much, you need to reevaluate yourself and how you're approaching these gals. Do you look good? Do you look presentable? Are your clothes fresh and clean? Do you smile at them? What do you talk about? How is your timing? Is there room for improvement?
    Most likely the problem is your approach. But hey, if you don't want to do it, then nobody's gonna stop you really. Do whatever you wanna do man.

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    • A girl like you probably gets approached a shit tom

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    • You don't even know that. But now I'm gonna quit responding, because I'm getting tired of this repetitive conversation. Have a nice day.

    • I do know that
      you too

  • What's the point of not approaching them then? The only reason you feel embarrassed is if you feel like you are being pathetic and needy. Approaching someone new takes balls, be proud that you made a move instead of the other 99% of the guys that wanted to in the room.

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  • Who came up with that percentage?
    Where is the accuracy in that?

    Have more confidence in yourself.

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    • I did its based on my batting record

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    • 6. Maybe she isn't into men. I really could go on and on...saying all of the reasons why.

    • Yeah and all those reasons make up a near 100% rejection rate

  • If you continue with that kind of attitude then you're right, you will always end up being rejected. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Not only that, but girls will be less likely to be attracted to a self-deprecating, self-defeating guy.
    You have to realize that sometimes you try and fail, sometimes you try and win. Things don't always go your way but that doesn't mean that they never will!

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  • Because if you never try you'll definitively never get a girl. And if you try at least you have a chance to get her and you won't spend your time wondering "what if?"
    Anyway, girls won't reject you forever! Must be just a bad phase don't get too upset about it :)

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    • She's right man. Keep trying. Tell yourself you're a catch and don't give up. You're still a young man. Good luck bro

  • Why not face reality? Sounds like you're trying to hide from the big bad reality of life.

    You will never evolve if you keep hiding.

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    • I am facing reality, the 100% rejection rate

    • Sweetie, you need to go back to school and learn the basics about percentages, because the amount of existing families and couples clash with your sad calculations.

    • It's %100 for me maybe not others

  • You're not going to get anywhere with that attitude.

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  • you should learn something about approaching girls. Like... if almost every girl that you approach doesn't wanna be approached, maybe girls... don't wanna be approached? Maybe this is a bad way, in general, to treat women?

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  • Did you pull that statistic out of your butt?

    If being rejected hurts your dignity, you have bigger problems than getting rejected. Work on your self western.

    Don't be so bitter.

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    • I agree. But they approach me first, so I don't get a chance.

    • Uh haha I'm a girl with many guy friends, and I honestly think its awful that society believes that guys should always do the approaching. Whoever has interest should approach the other. There are no set rules.
      But at the same time I think its so stupid when guys think that women are obligated to "give them a chance" JUST because they approached us. We don't owe you anything. We're sorry you're not our type or whatever, and most decent girls will try and make the rejection easy on you, but we don't owe you anything.
      And yes, I have approached a few guys and been rejected. It hurts.

  • Because you only need one 'yes' ? :P
    I haven't asked a lot of guys out (but I've had my fair share of rejection), but I suppose it does get tough going on after being rejected several times in a row.

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  • those guys seem suicidal or just simply like to waste their time on the wrong girls

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  • stop going after girls way out of your league

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  • if you have already approached the girl and she has been rejection you, there is no point of doing it again and again. As for me I get really annoyed if a boy keeps pestering me to go out with him. it will get to a point she will get feed up and ignore you, even the chance of being her friend will be gone. Ask a girl once and if she says no don`t bother and move on

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  • God if it's really 99.9999% then yeah just don't do it.

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  • Sure why not. Say anything that maybe relevant.

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    • is it bad to tell them you found them cute and had to talk to them?
      or is that too forward complimenting them right off the bat?

    • You can certainly try it. No harm in it. But knowing you try a more a subtle approach. Start with a casual and sure talk. Do your homework first. If she doesn't get it then be more direct. Your call :)

  • That's the frustratinng thing. If no one asks how will you know. Personally I would rather be asked out than not. You just have to try.

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  • Everyone get's rejected...That's just life, it doesn't mean you should give up

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    • So what should I do? Keep trying just to fail more every time?

    • Hey, you never know...It's like me trying to learn the violin when I have deformed hands...it seems impossible, but I'm got giving up...

  • That's how you meet new people in your life. Why not? I mean, my friends were quiet but when we talked, they were amazing and hilarious. You should do it. You have nothing to lose.

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  • The point is figuring out what's so wrong that you have such a high rejection rate.

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    • I dont know, it just is what it is, like if I approached you I guarantee rejection

    • Well I don't know you so that would be accurate. But if your rejection rate is really this high there has to be some sort of problem

  • That's a pretty high percentage. Maybe you'd have better luck with the lottery?

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    • I probably would

    • Do it! Then the girls would come flocking! ;)

    • Just because the chance is any better doesn't make it more likely

  • um no then you're not gonna get a girlfriend, don't wait. go for them, if they're really worth it. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, haha

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    • How many guys you approached?

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    • Its all about how you look

    • haha yeah i know, but everyone, emotionally, assumes people will reject them.

  • It's only you.

    JK.

    Girls get rejected all the time too. No biggie. Just live a kickass life alone. It really is fun. <3

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  • It dont always end in rejection. That depends on the girl.

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  • Why not is the real question. Just go say hi start a conversation see where it goes from there.

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    • If I were to approach you, what would I say?

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    • Just have some confidence act if you must. complement and be friendly :) good luck!

    • Thanks :)

  • Not all girls are the same. And there's still a 0.0001% of chance to find a girl who won't reject you, by the mistakes you have made before you learn different ways to approach girls, and make them interested

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  • You'll find your princess someday 👌

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  • How exactly are you approaching? Who are you approaching? Where are you approaching? How do you come off?

    Most likely it's something you're doing wrong

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    • I dont approach anymore haven't for a long time

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    • You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. There is your answer.

    • You miss 100% of the ones you do take too in my case

  • That's how it is with most things you want. You want a job, you submit a hundred applications, you maybe get three calls back for interviews. Some people may get twenty calls back and that comes down to how great their resume is, their cover letter, timing and other competition, etc. Same thing with dating. It's draining and hard for a lot of people but if you work on improving your game and you keep at it a girl will eventually bite. If you don't try at all, you're shooting yourself in the foot by guaranteeing yourself a 100% rejection rate.

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What Guys Said 49

  • If your rejection rate is 99.99999%, your approach skills suck. No mater how ugly a loser you are, you should be able to crawl up to lets say a 99.9% rejection rate at worst. Maybe even only an 85% rejection rate!!! Think how good that would be.

    Given your approach sucks, you need to work on the SKILL. And that involves practice. Mindful practice. (That means, practice paying attention to what you're doing, what is working, what isn't working, and adapting). So even if you are getting rejected 100% of the time, you might be improving skills, comfort, relaxation and ability to read women in an approach, all of which could pay off in the future.

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    • I dont want any more rejection no thanks

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    • No, the point is for you to improve your ability to handle approach anxiety. They're simply practice targets.

    • It wouldn't matter even if I didn't have approach anxiety, they still wouldn't be interested

  • Bro, it happens to all of us. I've done pretty well for myself, and I have probably a 1% success rate at best, haha. Think of all the girls you'll throw game at in your lifetime, and divide by the amount of girls the average dude sleeps with in his life, which if I were to guess, would be in the 2-10 range. Out of thousands of women you'll holler at. Not a good ratio, haha. You just gotta let it roll off. Don't let it psych you out. To borrow from 40 Year Old Virgin, the idea is to plant hundreds of seeds in hopes that one will grow into a plant, and then you fuck the plant, haha. Getting discouraged is the worst thing you can do. Throw everything out the window: looks, personality, social status, all of the things guys get caught up in thinking girls want. Some girls do want those things, but one thing I can guarantee you, having a losing attitude will sink your ship with pretty much any chick 100 times out of 100.

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    • Good for you man (: but for me its damn near 100%

    • I hear ya, I'm sure you're frustrated. There might be things you can do to clean up your game on a physical or personality level, its tough to say without knowing you. But as far as the approach goes, you just have play it cool and not let rejection beat you up. Another movie clip comes to mind --and as with all Hollywood shit, take this with a grain of salt-- that kind of illustrates what I mean.
      http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4WzyxybYEGM
      Don't be a dick to girls like this might imply, but as far as inside your own mind, I think there's a lot of truth in this, at least until you get the girl. Always be cool, always be a gentleman, but never give the impression that she's the only shot you have. Desperation is the anti-poon, haha.

  • Just talk casually with girls who happen to cross your path in life and you'll be able to have conversations with them that aren't so boldly obvious that you're "approaching." That's how you save your dignity. You can leave her wondering if you're the single one in this case.

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  • First your statistics are bogus. If it were a 99.9999 rejection rate that would mean 1 accept for every 1,000,000 asks. I'm pretty sure you haven't asked a million girls out.

    To increase your odds:

    1 - Improve yourself. - Dress, manner, skills and abilities
    2 - Ask out the right girls - If I ask out the hottest 5% of girls do you think the rejection rate will be higher or lower than the 5% least attractive girls? Simple math - 50% of the population cannot date the top 10% of the female population.
    3 - Become friends with girls first before moving to the next level.

    If I were a girl I'd be a bit leery of any guy asking me out without context. I'd be much more inclined to say yes to someone I already knew on a personal level.

    Its like saying 'what is the point of fishing if you don't catch fish 99.9999% of the time? - when you are a fisherman with no bait and casting a line into a corn field in Iowa.

    Change the situation and the rate might go up.

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  • Well based on your responses you are a bit jaded. It will happen, this is theorizing that when you approach the girl you are not coming off as a creeper, a douche or a drooling idiot.

    It happens, get over it. Not everyone is going to be interested in you. Move on, and stop whining. Boo hoo girls won't pay attention to me, boo hoo I can't get a date. Seriously man stop.

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  • Come on, man. Serious?
    Don't whine, make more efforts, discuss with your mates if they do daygame as well.
    Women do put lots of shit tests on men. Check out their vibse, if they say things like ''I have a bf'' with a dead serious face, you gonna fuckin brush up ur emotions and skills bro

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  • You should be checking the body language, before you do any approaching.It will save you a lot of wasted time and effort.
    If your body language is good, and you notice some inviting signs of interest from her, send some good body language signals in return.Then do the approaching.

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  • Think of it like a lottery. You can't win the lottery if you don't play the lottery. Same with women. You might get turned down, but you definitely will get turned down if you don't ask in the first place.

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    • If you're going to get turned doen every time does it really matter?

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    • its always going to be rejection guaranteed

    • Then there's no other advice I can offer you until you change your mind about it. You've already decided how things are going to turn out. Good luck.

  • OP I'm below average looks wise and even I don't get rejected 99% of the time. Just don't be awkward lol. Try to be funny. Once I just straight up asked this girl if she wanted to dance and she rejected me but a few minutes before the bar was gonna close guess what she did? She saw my talking to my group which included some girls and she took my hand and dragged me to the dance floor. You just have to keep on trying. Don't let the rejections get to you. I know you don't want to hear this but if it keeps happening at a 99% clip then you are doing something wrong.

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  • warosu.org/data/lit/img/0046/01/1393255457077.png

    Joe is bit to harsh... I don't agree with him. It seems as though he's putting all the blame on you which I don't agree with. Sometimes the girl has had bad experiences in the past, maybe she's nervous. To simply put the blame on you isn't right. He then goes on to tell you to give women who try to get with you, a shot. What entitles all women to be able to have a shot with you? I've rejected women and I've been rejected myself. Its a two way street, no one it entitled to be with you. But that's just me.

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  • I doubt it's that high.. Plenty of people find relationships so the success rate can't be that bad.

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  • If you walk in thinking nothing will happen, you may be more casual and confident than if you're worried about the outcome. No matter what, flirting with women, even if you believe nothing will come of it, is great practice. Getting used to talking to women makes it easier every time.

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  • Poor you, I used to whine, but now I hate somebody who fuckin' whine without taking much actions. If you really think 99.9999% is rejection, then save your 00,0001% for something else.
    Ask yourself. What's your point of approaching girls? Ultimately wanting sex? That guarantees rejections! If you want some genuine connections and sparks with those girls, you have to start working on your 0,0001% to achieve something.

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  • Everyone gets rejected, no one alive has never been rejected, unless they've never tried. Maybe it's a fear of rejection, or the notion that you'll probably be rejected that's holding you back and keeping you from even trying. But if you don't try it's a 100% rejection rate.

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    • You should just talk to women more often and not worry about the outcome. Where a lot of guys fall is because they're so focused on what to say to NOT get rejected, they often don't make a move at all.

  • You gotta change your approach. You're obviously doing something that doesn't carry over well with the ladies. Idea. Find a good friend that's a girl and practice what to say/how to approach. She'll tell you what works and what doesn't. Good luck.

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  • you ask ten girls an nine of them slap you and say hell no BUT the tenth one says yes... she'll make it worth it

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    • Except all of them reject

    • they never all reject just use some common sense and keep trying , if they say no there are plenty of other women out there

    • No they always reject I guarantee it

  • The point would be the next woman could be interested, since each woman makes independent decisions from the previous ones you approached, albeit based on similar factors. Your dignity is an illusion that only exists in your mind, you decide whether you have dignity or not, rejection does not result in the loss of anything (assuming its from a stranger rather than a member of your extended social circle).

    However you don't know that your rejection rate is 99.9999% unless you've approached 1,000,000 women, which is highly unlikely.

    How many women have you actually approached?
    Where do you approach them?
    Are they complete strangers or people you know?
    How do they generally reject you?

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    • So far I have 100% rejection rate which means the rest will too

  • There is a very simple solution to your problem, and that is approaching only females who you know sufficiently that you can tell that they are interested in being with you.

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    • So none

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    • it's not 100% if there are exceptions like me :D

    • Its 100% , id bet money on it

  • I don't think it's that high with any guy in the world. Unless the guy is in a wheelchair or handicapped.

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    • It is with me and Im perfectly healthy normal looking

  • The answer is pretty clear: one day it won't end in rejection. Which is the whole point.

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  • Hell... dont approach then dude.
    Some girls are arrogant but some guys are too.
    Choose or find a right 1 for you.
    And there is nothing to get ashamed of when you get rejected.

    Although I got rejected just once that too by a girl who looked so average I dint approached her for date but for some other reason.
    I think she misunderstood that.

    And I was laughing at that scene later on that really she thought that , oh man I would never even think to date her. Hahaha

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  • I can tell you that if you don't try that your chances are basically zero. I've had girls interested in me but none of them ever have made the first move they may flirt and send signals but they expect the guy to talk and ask them out/for their name/number.

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  • It sounds like you probably need to improve your appearance and/or the way you approach women. Post a pic.

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  • Experience?
    Rejection was an essential part of maturity. I was rejected before, but the more I was rejected by them the more I become humble and confident.

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  • I feel bad for you dude... I'm lucky to have only been rejected but a few times in my life. You can't win them all bud. Stay confident, positive, and hope for the best.

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  • There's really no point for you.

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  • Well I mean with that attitude whats the point in trying.

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  • 100% rejection rate after 3 tries = "Despair."

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  • Well yeah, there is a point in life where you just have to accept you will end up alone. I'm coming to terms with it right now and even though it's very sad I need to do it to not break because of it.

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  • whip it out and show he the helicopter

    stream1.gifsoup.com/.../helicopter-homer-o.gif

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