Is it wrong to give a guy an ultimatum?

I don't want to force him into a relationship with me, but I need something from him. I want to tell him that if he doesn't want to be exclusive with me then we need to end things. I don't mean that right now we have to be boyfriend-girlfriend, tell everyone we're together, post it on Facebook, etc. but knowing that he is only interested in and wants to be with me would mean a lot to me. We say we care about each other and miss each other and talk about spending time together when he gets back from overseas, but that's not holding him back from anyone else or reassuring me. Does this sound like a bad idea lol


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hmmm...Well, it might not be a bad idea, especially if you want him to be exclusive to only you. He's in the military, correct?
    My S/O is in the military, and him being gone a lot, sounds like you want to know he's only faithful to you, title or not. Talk to him about it. Maybe not give him an ultimatum, but talk to him first. See what he thinks about the idea.

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    • My bf and I are obviously only with the other and having those boundaries and rules makes things a lot less complicated.

What Guys Said 1

  • I think if you feel the need to give an ultimatum than the relationship is probably already done. I dont say this to be cold and I could be wrong. I was married and divorced as a result of an ultimatum.

    When I say it is already over I assume that you have on numerous occasions already been very clear about your needs desires and wants. If not start there.

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    • Let me put one other way.

      If you express your desires to your partner and they ignore them for a long time and then you put them to an ultimatum. Only three things can result, they say no and it is over; they do what you ask what they clearly did not want to do and resent you for it or they lie to you tell you they will fulfill your request and then dont.

What Girls Said 1

  • NO, you want safety and there is nothing wrong with that

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