I am 26 and she is 17. We met through mutual interests, and she immediately caught my attention.
She is very mature for her age and constantly says she feels a lot older than her peers and that she doesn't quite fit in with them.
She's well educated, smart and has an interesting personality. We have spent hours talking to each other (no flirting involved) and have been on several semi-dates, although we don't call them that, just hanging out and having a good time...
I am in no position of power over her, as we only met by chance, and I don't want to hurt or abuse her.
When we meet, we joke around, I tease her a bit, she jokes back. When we text each other, the conversations can last long into the night. When we meet in person, hours fly by without either of us noticing.
Recently she's been pretty straightforward about liking me, and I fully admit that I have come to like her a lot too.
I consider myself to be young and have no problem with talking to her or her friends. But I still have the nagging feeling, that a 9 year age gap is just too much, and we'd be judged as a couple, even though I'd never start anything sexual until she was 18.
Her maturity, interesting personality and effortless conversations are really starting to win me over. She inspires me, and I am someone she can trust in times of need.
Would it be wrong for me to pursue this relationship or should I just nip it in the bud?
Most Helpful Guy
Hmmm...well, given her youth, its kind of pushing it. But then again, if you were 27 and 18, I wouldn't be nearly as concerned, so I guess it's relative. I know there are age of consent laws, but I just think anyone in high school is too young for an adult. Its weird how that all changes in one day, but it is what it is. I dated an 18 year old at 26 or 27. It didn't really work out well, we were just in different places in life and it was all based around physical attraction, even though she was a cool chick. Maybe this girl's maturity level is different, but I also thought I was way more mature than I actually was when I was that age. SAYING you're mature and BEING mature are two different things. I'd keep it cool, honestly. If your souls connect that well, they still will in a year or two, and you can see where its at then. But I'd have to say that its risky business to do anything now, even just on an emotional level. Its easy for younger girls to fall for older guys, I'm sure her interest in you is genuine. But as the older one you have to be responsible about this. Friendship is fine. But I think you should make it clear that nothing romantic can come of this at this time. 9 years is whatever if she's 24 and you're 33. But when they're under 21, it can make a LOT of difference.0