I am 26 and she is 17. How wrong is it?

I am 26 and she is 17. We met through mutual interests, and she immediately caught my attention.

She is very mature for her age and constantly says she feels a lot older than her peers and that she doesn't quite fit in with them.

She's well educated, smart and has an interesting personality. We have spent hours talking to each other (no flirting involved) and have been on several semi-dates, although we don't call them that, just hanging out and having a good time...

I am in no position of power over her, as we only met by chance, and I don't want to hurt or abuse her.

When we meet, we joke around, I tease her a bit, she jokes back. When we text each other, the conversations can last long into the night. When we meet in person, hours fly by without either of us noticing.

Recently she's been pretty straightforward about liking me, and I fully admit that I have come to like her a lot too.

I consider myself to be young and have no problem with talking to her or her friends. But I still have the nagging feeling, that a 9 year age gap is just too much, and we'd be judged as a couple, even though I'd never start anything sexual until she was 18.

Her maturity, interesting personality and effortless conversations are really starting to win me over. She inspires me, and I am someone she can trust in times of need.

Would it be wrong for me to pursue this relationship or should I just nip it in the bud?


0|0
9|10

Most Helpful Guy

  • Hmmm...well, given her youth, its kind of pushing it. But then again, if you were 27 and 18, I wouldn't be nearly as concerned, so I guess it's relative. I know there are age of consent laws, but I just think anyone in high school is too young for an adult. Its weird how that all changes in one day, but it is what it is. I dated an 18 year old at 26 or 27. It didn't really work out well, we were just in different places in life and it was all based around physical attraction, even though she was a cool chick. Maybe this girl's maturity level is different, but I also thought I was way more mature than I actually was when I was that age. SAYING you're mature and BEING mature are two different things. I'd keep it cool, honestly. If your souls connect that well, they still will in a year or two, and you can see where its at then. But I'd have to say that its risky business to do anything now, even just on an emotional level. Its easy for younger girls to fall for older guys, I'm sure her interest in you is genuine. But as the older one you have to be responsible about this. Friendship is fine. But I think you should make it clear that nothing romantic can come of this at this time. 9 years is whatever if she's 24 and you're 33. But when they're under 21, it can make a LOT of difference.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 9

  • She might seem mature for her age, but she is not mature in herself and in life yet, I guarantee you that.

    I dated a guy that was 25 when I was 17. Of course, the age of consent here is 17 so that wasn't an issue. He said the same things.. "you're so mature for your age blahblah" but in reality, I wasn't. Not even 10 years later, and I'm not even a glimmer of who I was at 17.

    I don't think it's wrong per se, but it's definitely destined to not work long term.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Lol. I know someone who had to register as a sex offender because she was 17 and he was 21.

    Keep it in your pants, bro.

    1|1
    0|0
  • I don't think this is as big an issue as people are making out. Me and my friends were definitely more mature than our peers at 17 and there's not a chance in he'll we'd ever date a 17 year old "boy". I'd warn you that it probably won't last forever, she's going to change a lot in the next few years and her ambitions, goals and desires are going to also, so you may find you grow apart, but that's part of life, she's only just starting out with her serious dating life wheras you're 9yrs ahead. Bear that in mind.

    0|0
    0|0
  • go for it. u r obviously really into this girl and so is she. love knows no age, gender or coulor. love is love. and, yes, I know u don't know it's love yet but it really and truly could b. don't let her go just because u happened to b born several years apart. remember 'the lake house'? time was a bitch to them and they still made it work. (no, i'm not delusional, I know that's just a movie and not actually possible but my point stands)
    it is legal, right? i'm British, I wouldn't know.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think it is too huge or you are really immature

    1|0
    0|0
  • don't you have things to do / plans in your life?
    at 26 you should be at least starting your future..

    i think with her your just backtracking honestly

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's not to bad.. Me and the guy I was with are 8 years apart. I'm 20 and he's 27 , will be 28 ... Age is just a number, but wait until she is 18 to do anything sexual.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's legal go for it dude

    0|0
    1|0
  • I think it's not too bad. If you really like her then go for it. And that's even better if you won't start anything sexual until she is 18.

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 9

  • 1. Check the age of consent for your state. Some are 16, some 17, some 18. If she's below the age of consent, whether you do anything sexual or not and have proof, you're probably going to get in trouble or have some sort of other huge negative consequence.
    2. Using the min age equation, (26/2) + 7 = 20. So she is 3 years younger than what is the "acceptable" minimum dating age.

    Either way, she isn't an adult, no matter how mature she is and you and her are on WAY different stages of life. I've tried to date younger and it failed, mostly because of how the age gap affected our behaviors and wants. I wouldn't go for it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • What is mature? Is it being 'life wise' or is it being boring?

    In any case immaturity can be seen at all ages and so can maturity.
    So I don't really understand the entire fuss.

    Just pursue it and see how it goes, a connection like that isn't easily found.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Where are you located. Many state's age of consent is 17.

    The age gap will be an issue, but if y'all truly like each other, why not give it a shot?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Not an issue.. I have dated wider age gap.. enjoy

    1|1
    1|0
  • yeah you like her but you also got to think she is 17. She will need to experience her life as well. A lot changes at her age. She is graduating and experiencing college. Age is just a number but you have to know what you are getting yourself into exactly

    0|0
    0|0
  • If its legal age of consent in that area, who gives a shit?

    0|0
    0|0
  • This will fail. Do it anyway. YOLO

    0|0
    0|0
  • she's looking to find a daddy replacement. daddy issues

    0|0
    0|0
  • It does sound like trouble man...

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...