How to stop doubting things and being so insecure?

Me and the guy I am seeing have a really good time when we are together.
Especially last week we spent so much time together and I really felt like he wanted my company.

However, sometimes he will be blunt in text messages or not talk for a few days. He doesn't really like texting, and it's all totally normal for him but it always makes me feel bad.

I ended up freaking out after he recently didn't talk for a few days and he ended up calling me and telling me that nothing was wrong. He is always telling me to relax.

Tonight I was supposed to go over but he said he 'wasn't in the mood for cuddles' and generally felt sucky.
He apologised and sent some funny meme of a cat saying i'm beautiful. I said 'hope you feel better soon' and said goodnight. He replied with 'Thankyou Goodnight xx'.
He doesn't do kisses on texts often.

I know i'm being stupid and I really want to stop feeling so insecure and like he is over me whenever he is busy, in a bad mood, or just feeling like a boy. Help?


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What Guys Said 1

  • The good news is that this isn't a problem! Congratulations! :D

    The bad news is that you two are not compatible with the current limitations of communication. D:

    The great news is that it's not fixable at all, so stop trying, and just accept where you stand and how your needs aren't being met and meet them yourself. Contact him. If he doesn't respond you need to uh... nudge him in the correct direction.

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What Girls Said 1

  • You aren't being stupid, though. You are trying to find a way to be ok with a totally unfulfilling relationship.
    He doesn't have to like texting. But to not be in touch for days? And not be in the mood to even SEE you?
    Your feelings are justified. This relationship sounds empty, unfulfilling and lonely. You feel the way you feel because something is wrong. It isn't supposed to be this way.

    Stop making excuses for the way you feel. You know this is the pits. It's time to have a big talk, and he can tell you to "relax" (aka, have the relationship on HIS terms, and be a boyfriend when HE feels like it) or you can kick him to the curb and find a man that can't wait to see you and couldn't go days without talking to you.

    The choice is yours. Stop kidding yourself that the problem is you and your feelings. You know it's not supposed to be this way.

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    • We aren't in a relationship, that's why the not talking thing is ok. We both have separate, busy lives and he has some undiagnosed depressive type symptoms. I have found leaving him alone when he is in these bad moods causes less arguments and makes him want me more.Guys like their space, especially mine.

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