Can I date my friend's ex!! need help here please !

so we are a big group of friends and we are a long time friends the thing is one of my guy friends was engaged to my friend for almost a year then they broke up and lately he said he likes me I had nothing to do with the break up and neither of them talked to me about it and to be honest I do like him but is it morally ok to date him or thst would be betrayal or what !


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Best bet is to run it by the friend. I've ok'd a mate dating an ex but I don't know about if I'd let em date my ex fiancĂ©, not just as I never want to see her again but as it is a more serious level of relationship or at least is ment to be.

    Side note though is that you will question if what he is doing he learned with your friend and compare yourself to her. That can get creepy and awkward.

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What Guys Said 3

  • In a perfect world, when the relationship is over it is over, so you should be able to date him. But as pointed out here, there might be lingering feelings that you could hurt. Other than that, there are things like the stupid "girl code" mentioned below. (Guys have it too) And a potentially wonderful relationship never gets a chance because your "friends" will say you are breaking the "girl code". Oh well. You see what is there.

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  • I mean if you care about the friendship with the girl id ask her. If you dont care about your and her relationship go for it

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  • Go for it.

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    • It is selfish, you can't go date the guy your close friend likes. Okay if she gives an ok go for it, but still you can't do such a thing without discussing this with your friend thats called common sense and girlcode.

    • No it's not selfish. They broke up so he's fair game to anyone who wants him. His ex has no say so.

What Girls Said 6

  • If you date your friend's ex then it makes you look like your integrity is questionable. Some people may suggest that it's perfectly okay to pursue a friend's ex when really that is just plain selfish and inconsiderate. Depending on the nature of the break-up, your friend may still have an emotional attachment to him so it's kind of a smack in the face for you to pursue something with him that she can't have but may still want deep down inside. The fact that they were engaged makes it even worse because they were going to share their lives together. If you choose to start dating him, it's going to make you look tacky and self-absorbed. It will also probably make her feel uncomfortable because it raises the question if you were fantasizing about him when she was pouring her heart out to you about their situation...Not cool.

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  • Deep in your heart you know the answer to this question.. how would you feel?

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    • I think it would ve weird :( I know but I do like him thats why Iam hesitant

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    • Asker, you are not a good friend if you value your own selfish feelings more than a friendship.

    • You people are stupid. Calling he selfish for wanting to date a guy? The guy's ex doesn't matter in this.

  • We have an agreement in our group, no exes unless you really have some feelings that won't go away then you ask for permission. I would personally never date a girl friends ex if she is one of my close friends. It tends to complicate stuff.

    You can ask your friend, but make sure that she is completely honest. Sometimes girls say: no, you can date him. But what they really are saying is: date him and I will kill you.

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  • I never understood why people do this? Like out of all the fish in the sea? Someone else will come along and like you, trust me.

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  • Be a good friend and follow girl code.

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    • That code is completely stupid and pointless.

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    • You obviously can't stop them if they don't respect how you feel. At that point they aren't your friend. If you're not cool with it then they should respect that and consider you feelings. It's really not that hard.

    • No this isn't about respect. It's about one friend telling another they can't date someone because she doesn't want them to. Sounds more controlling to me. But since you mention feelings what about the friend who wants to date the ex? Shouldn't her feelings be considered as well? Is she supposed to pass up a possible opportunity? If the friend is selfish for wanting to date the guy then the guy's ex is just as selfish wanting her not to because on HER own personal reasons.

  • No it makes it look sketchy like you had feelings for this whole time
    Do you not value friendship? Are you that lonely you want to date him? Come on there are other guys out there
    Way too many guys to ruin a friendship
    Stay classy

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