How to deal with jealousy issues?

It seems that I get jealous when my bf hangs out with his friends.. he seems to ignore me.. well that's how I feel... how should I deal with this?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, when he's hanging out with his friends, he can't exactly pay attention to you because he's already paying attention to his friends. The only way you can really deal with it is to keep yourself busy when he's busy. That way you'll be too busy to even care about being jealous. Maybe hang out with your own friends or something.

    • I do.. and when I hang out with my friends he assumes that I'm mad at him for hanging with his friends which I'm not..

    • That sounds like an odd conclusion to draw... you should be able to hang out with your friends without him thinking you're mad at him. All you can do in a situation like that is just to calmly explain that you're not mad, and that you're allowed to be with your friends just as much as he is. Don't know what else you can do, really.


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What Guys Said 3

  • Tough to be completely candid since you are under 18 but most of answer is PG. Guys- and girls- find security in packs of like minded friends. Like minded because they don't need to question values/mores etc. Acceptance is so huge when young- and forever I guess. When you are much younger, you seek acceptance w/ same sex. Later, most ppl. remain in packs longer than necessary and are often mean to those who separate sooner. Most of this ends in HS as many early relationships end naturally at that time. Emotionally secure ppl. undergo a process Karl Jung named "individuation" around 18. They have friends but don't text, speak, hang out w./ them 24/7. Many guys can't do this as young as women and find a new group of peers, either those who have stayed behind in home town and some try to re-create at college. Esp. when alcohol is involved, many guys have tough time mocking past this and have 1 foot into adulthood and self-sufficiency and the other that always wants to hang with buds, watch sports on TV & drink beer.

    At your age (sorry for sounding like parent) guys will still look to peer group to make sure they aren't doing anything considered uncool. Vulnerability, so necessary in a true relationship, is the height of uncoollness at this point. Be patient, he will change or you should change him.

  • Don't you spend time with your friends? It's the same for us guys. It's not that he is ignoring you, its his space. In relationship, you need to give the other some space too. His friends are also dear to him, just like your friends are to you.

    • I understand that.. so I usually try to spend some time with my friends but he assumes that I'm mad at him..

    • Show All
    • Yeah... I know..

    • That's the problem. Why ignore his presence? Even your friends know about your relationship so no need to be restrained. Smile and wave if you bump into him and his friends while you're hanging out with your friends. Small talk if necessary. That should do.

  • by making him jealous

    • That's what I usually by purposely ignoring him..

    • Try to hang out with your friends, Focus on your studies, Try change your looks, buy new gadgets, upload new pics in your FB account, participate in any group activity..

What Girls Said 1

  • Ouch, this one is hard. I don't get super jealous when my boyfriend hangs out with his friends more than me, but yes. I get a bit of jealous. I want him too, you know. What you should do is to let him play with his friends and do whatever he wants. He will always come back to you (he knows he can't get sex, affection...etc anywhere else then you), so just keep yourself occupied and busy while he is gone. If he ignores you to the fullest, talk to him about how you hate it! If he doesn't listen than he is not worth it. :)