Guys, would you rather date an 'experienced' girl or slightly naive?

I don't have very many insecurities when it comes to myself, but one that I know is definitely there concerns this matter. I have certain personal beliefs and one of them is not giving myself up before I'm married. I tell this to guys before we get into anything so they really can't blame me afterwards but every time, without fail, it ends up being the reason for arguments. This last time I was with a guy I really genuinely cared about and was starting to fall in love with. In the end though, things turned horribly and in our last argument he said some things that really hurt- among them, calling me naive and saying he wasn't attracted to me... Almost immediately after I found out he slept with a girl that I'd specifically told him emotionally abused me on more than one occasion. I don't know if he did that to hurt me or if he truly found her attractive over me. I can definitely attest she is not naive, dresses a lot more provocatively than me, and has a list of guys she sleeps with. It pains me that he would throw everything we had away to be with someone that only sees him as a number. But anyways, I was just curious- would guys rather date an experienced or slightly naive girl- and when I say naive, I just mean in that one area.

  • Experienced
    50% (2)25% (1)38% (3)Vote
  • Naive
    50% (2)75% (3)62% (5)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Naive/less experienced rather than experienced

    I think naive is the wrong word, your making a conscious choice. Naive would be sleeping around thinking that someone will respect and love you for it. He sounds like a very insecure person who felt like his male ego was bruised so he done it to hurt you, blame him not her. It's a horrible lesson in trust, but live and learn, not the same experience but i've had my share off people acting out like that. You will spot people like him a mile away next time.

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    • Thank you...you have no idea how much this helps.

What Guys Said 5

  • You are kinda asking about two different situations. It is one thing to be naive, but want sex; and another to be naive because you want to wait till marriage. For the record, good for you for wanting to wait. But I would not wait for you. I think we as humans were designed to enjoy sex in life and waiting for marriage is completely pointless as it doesn't increase its value or significance for me. I will answer this from the perspective of someone who is naive, but is willing to have sex. I would find the relationship easier and less intimidating to be with someone naive. I would be afraid of being compared all the time to past lovers with someone who is experienced. I would be worried about her finding me boring. Someone naive would be someone I could grow with and expand our sexual relationship at a comfortable rate.

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  • I don't really have a preference, as long as she isn't on the extreme side of either experience or naïveté.

    My ex was way on the side of naïveté and it was really annoying. She didn't even understand her own anatomy, let alone any sexual joke too mature for a PG movie.

    You sound fine. Sucks you got hurt, though.

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  • in my opinion id date the experienced girl. The past is the past, I wouldn't bring past bullsh*t to build a new relationship, rather id take what I learn so that I won't make the same mistake.

    And how do you know she has a list of guys lol? That is a head scratching assumption seriously. This is why I don't date girls who hold their virginity as if its life support. I've been told in the face that I probably have a "line of women" because of the way I behave and view the world?

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    • Please don't get the wrong idea; I have plenty of friends that don't share that same value with me and who I love dearly and hold a lot of respect for. I didn't make that assumption about her. She told one of our mutual friends the list of guys she was sleeping with and/or had just started sleeping with. That's how I found out he had started sleeping with her. She's perfectly fine talking about it since it was her decision and I have no issue with it. If I sound bitter realize it's because I'm still immensely upset about what transpired between me and him and the part she has in this whole thing- although I know it takes two to tango, etc. The fact of the matter remains, she used to be my friend at one point and she knew how I felt about him.

  • I agree with NoblesseOblige. The issue here is can I date a girl who will not sleep with me before we're married...and the answer is I cannot. I need my physical intimacy.

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    • Yeah, I realize not everyone can deal with it which is why I always let guys know ahead of time before we get into anything..but it never fails to be the reason things mess up. :/

  • The issue is not naivete. The issue is no sex before marriage. I would next you.

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    • You're right... I guess I thought otherwise because that was the word he kept bringing up during our last argument and the reason he gave for not wanting to be with me.

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    • Definitely his mistake. We were close friends before being together. He knew me really well and saw what happened with other guys I was with. He should have known I wouldn't change for any guy... even him.

    • Ya people do dumb shit when they're desperate and have no other options.

What Girls Said 1

  • Find a guy with the same personal beliefs that you so that you guys don't come into conflict. You'll be a lot happier in that relationship too.

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    • Thanks for the input girl, and I agree- it would definitely make things a lot less stressful and complicated.

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