The last two guys I've met have been extremely clingy. I do want a relationship, but the clingy-ness is such a turn off. What am I doing wrong?

Is it something I'm doing, or just the men I seem to be attracting?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm having the same problem with this one woman. She texts me when I don't have service and I'll get spammed back when I get my service back. Just the other night I was still considering meeting up with her and texted a time I might be available and she immediately responded back and since I didn't get back to her "quick enough" she started calling my phone. Comes off super clingy.

    Overall though I think women worry more about being clingy but the oens who are... are pretty clingy!

    But I notice far more guys nowadays being clingy and wanting relationships asap and all that stuff.

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    • I use to think it was all girls who were overly clingy and I'm just not really an affectionate person. Could be true, could be me growing up and being more independent. Who knows though. Hope your clinger situation is going better!

    • Looks like she's down to only texting daily. Hoping it dies off.

What Guys Said 6

  • Well, you are kind of young. People who are younger tend to be clingier than older people. Perhaps as you and the men you date mature, you'll find they'll be less clingy.

    Sometimes dating is just a numbers game. It's not necessarily a matter of doing something wrong, you just haven't met a guy who matches your level of independence yet.

    My late wife, when we dated, always ask that I call her when I got home (this was before widespread cellphone usage...and I didn't even have a cellphone then). At first this was kind of weird to me and I did sort of think this was clingy behavior. However, I later realized she just liked hearing from me. We both said "I do" so in the end it worked out. She would later text me every day at lunch and got mad when I didn't text back. In all other aspects, she was an independent and emotionally stable person, so I later came to realize what I thought was a sort of clinginess was just that she liked to hear from me. My own mother and father rarely communicated to one another during the course of their days and they would catch up when he came home at night. Mind you, this was back when we lived in caves and sent messages via drum beating and smoke signals. I grew up thinking this was the norm. However, my wife told me her father called her mother every day at noon. Sometimes it's a matter of a person's background.

    Any rate, there's some (junk) food for thought.

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  • "This clingy I'm talking about for BOTH guys I've tried to get to know, need a text reply or I will receive 2 texts and 3 snapchats for every time I don't reply -__-"

    is this the extent of their clingyness?

    and i know some people have said its just their insecurity. this may be true, but aren't you meant to feel secure in a relationship? so maybe if you addressed this, they wouldn't be so bad? but who knows, maybe you just got 2 bad apples..

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  • What do you mean by clingy? They want to be with you all the time, hold you? They just have a different meaning of relationship to you , relationship means companion to them , your version is just mild dating tbh:)

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  • in my opinion what u consider "clingy" is normal relationship affection.

    Do u consider yourself a "loving" person or are u not much of an emotional person?

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    • I'm starting to realize I may just not be an emotional person...now I feel heartless haha!

    • Not everyone is affectionate. Im an affectionate dude so unfortunately we are not a match! :-P

  • Don't be so gosh darn sessy :p

    Go for guys that already have their own thing going. Lots of friends and hobbies.

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  • Might be the maturity levels of the guys your dating
    that is causing the clingy-ness , insecurity on their part

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What Girls Said 2

  • I don't think you're doing anything wrong. People tend to be clingy if they're insecure.

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  • Define "clingy"? Because what you may think is clingy may be the type of closeness others like. Take me for example, I don't think its necessary for me and my boyfriend to talk every single day, whether in the initial stages of the relationship or not. I think that's clingy but other girls would have a fit! I just don't care!

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    • This clingy I'm talking about for BOTH guys I've tried to get to know, need a text reply or I will receive 2 texts and 3 snapchats for every time I don't reply -__-

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