Men I date never feel the need to make me feel special...Why?

I'm 23 years old and out of the 4 guys I've been in relationships with, I've only had special things done for me twice...all by my first boyfriend who I dated on & off for 3 years. I just don't understand it. Once I'm their "girlfriend" they all start slacking and stop saying sweet things to me or even talking to me. None of them ever even gave me a gift or took me out or anything for my birthday! I know this may sound kind of spoiled of me to think they should spend money on me, but it's not even that.. Even if they just made something or even just said happy birthday. I've never even gotten that and I do not get it. I always see my friends getting gifts or special activities planned for them on holidays and sometimes just because, and I can't help but wonder what I'm doing wrong to never have a guy that will do that for me. I always cook meals and plan special things for the guys I date and it's never reciprocated. The guy I'm dating now (we've been together 7 months) is really good to me and takes me out to eat and to the movies a lot, but I'm wondering if he will do anything special for my birthday in 2 months.. Is it stupid that I want to feel special so badly? Am I making a big deal out of nothing?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • No it's not stupid. You have every right to want to feel wanted esepcially on your birthday. Sure guys slack after you go out with them but they should hav enough common sense not to get complacent and not wish you Happy Birthday.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You are not special. You're not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else. We're all part of the same compost heap. We're all singing, all dancing crap of the world. - Tyler Durden

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What Girls Said 1

  • No, I get what you're saying. My ex never made any effort to make me feel special. Didn't get me anything for our first Valentine's Day, and took me to hang out with his friends on my birthday. I slave over those types of things- not because I feel obligated to, but because I like to show that I care in more than one way.

    Now, I'm very low-maintenance.. I've learned not to expect it things from the guy I'm with now- It makes me appreciate it all the more when he does do something for me. And it'll be something "simple" too- like when he gets a new limited edition videogame and will save it until I come over just so he can play it with me. Or when he shows concern by making sure I get home safe and when he reaches to catch me when I'm being a klutz... or trying to make breakfast for me even though he doesn't know how to :)

    But yeah, a "Happy Birthday" is definitely in order- And some effort at making you feel special and to show that he cares. Anything less is unacceptable.

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