I slept with hookers, I can never have a deep meaningful relationship with a real girl right?

I was always a loner and had no friends or chances with women. I was pretty depressed and screwed up my academic career and with all the stress my health started to decline. At this point I was pretty sure I was going to die or kill myself soon anyway. Being a virgin at 23 I decided I wanted to experience sex at least and since the chances of attracting a girl where ( and still are ) zero for me I went to hookers.

I've since managed to turn my life around and I'm chrrently getting better. I'm just wondering if a real, good girl would ever consider dating me if she learns about my past. I don't want to lie to her or trick her. It's not like there are any chances anyway for me right now. I'm just curious.


0|0
10|10

Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think I could be with someone who'd slept with hookers. I would try to overlook it if I really cared about him, but I really don't think I could.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Looking at your other comments, I don't think you'll end up dying alone because of this. Plenty of girls won't take such issue with this kind of thing, especially given your circumstances at the time.

    • Out of curiosity, why do you think you couldn't overcome knowing if a guy you are otherwise into having been with a hooker?

    • I can't respect anyone who's supported abuse and sex trafficking with his own dollar. And I just find it dirty and would suspect he'd do it again.

What Girls Said 9

  • I don't see why you need to share your past right away.
    Usually that happens over time.
    No one enters into something meaningful spilling all of the beans about themselves.

    Some people are far too judgmental and will be turned off automatically hearing that you slept with hookers.
    You shouldn't have to plead your case to any body.
    Some people are understanding and others aren't.

    I suggest ONLY bringing this up if you happen to fall for someone, and you BOTH trust each other.
    Make sure you know this person isn't the judgmental type, and has skeletons in their closets to share has well.

    I wouldn't judge you for sleeping with hookers.
    You felt that was your only option at that point, and decided to do something about it. It's understandable.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I'd be turned off by his approach to prostitutes, like they're somehow bad people or even subhuman for doing their job. Really judgmental.
    Now with that out of the way, I wouldn't think less of you for visiting hookers. Sex is a bodily need like food or sleep, you can only hold it in long enough. The two things I would be wary of would be:
    1. Your satisfaction with your sex life in the relationship. Professionals are professionals after all, and sleeping with one girl can get boring for a guy.
    2. STDs. If you've visited a lot of illegal hookers I'd definitely have you tested for STDs.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Of course she would. Everyone has a past but this girl is going to date you for your future, not your past.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I was under the impression that people didn't share their sexual history with their significant other right off the bat, so you wouldn't even have to tell someone you're dating until 1) she asks or 2) you two decide you want to sleep with each other. When it comes time to spill the beans, don't lie, just tell her what you told us. She might get skeeved out, but I think as long as you have a clean sexual bill of health, eventually you'll find someone who won't write you off based on your past.

    0|0
    0|0
  • personally i won't date a guy who has been with hookers

    0|1
    0|1
    • That's what I thought. Thank you!

    • Show All
    • I fully understand and I'm not offended. I know I will never have a wife or a girl because honestly I would not even want a girl who could be Ok with this. I'm aware of the hypocrisy and the fact that I will die alone but it's my own fault.

    • You didn't kill, rape someone or molest a child.
      It's not the WORST thing.
      You are thinking way too into this than you should.
      We all have skeletons in our closet.

  • If I found out my boyfriend had a past with hookers it would definitely make me question our relationship. You sound pretty genuine and you're not tainted or anything like that. I'm sure the girl will have a problem with it, but if you just sit down with her and explain it all she will be able to come to terms with it

    0|0
    0|0
    • If you look at some of the responses by other women, one could build a case that sitting down and explaining it may very well lead to a break up in many, if not most, cases.

    • That's true. But it seems like the asker was just goingthrough some problems. A serious relationship is probably the only case where it could be looked over

  • Your situation in your past was an understandable reason for going to hookers. Although you might think of doing it again once you will be in a stressful situation in the future. Don't worry about it though, its in the past, if you would do it with no reason just because you wanted sex, THEN i would never even try dating you. But this is not your case so don't worry.

    0|0
    0|0
    • You know I don't think I would do it again if I had a gf but I would not trust myself so I'll probably never date.

    • As other people said keep it a secret. I for example promised myself i will never be faithful. There are so many people out there who cheat and don't tell their partner.

  • She doesn't want to contract STDS.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Congratulations on getting better! That's wonderful :D

    Yes, I'd say that I am a "good girl" and would definitely date someone who has slept with prostitutes. I'd want to know what you did to overcome your obstacles and ensure that you are still receiving enough support to keep yourself safe and healthy. Know that this does not make you a bad person, and if anything, has helped you find your way. Look for someone who is openminded and understanding--I am certain they will agree.

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 10

  • I'd say roughly 1/4 of the men I know personally have been with a hooker. Almost all of them are married. Some of them are, to go by the accounts of my female friends, handsome. So, for those who say they wouldn't be with a guy who has been with a hooker, I suspect about 25% of you have, and you just don't know it.

    I've never been with a hooker. The problem I have with it is that SO many hookers are taken advantage of, or they've been abused, or they are downtrodden, or they've been abused as children and are kind of acting out, that I just don't want to encourage that behavior. I do believe there are some hookers who aren't any of those things I've listed, and most of them live in countries or counties where prostitution is legal and heavily regulated.

    0|1
    0|0
  • As long as you don't lead with that piece of information you should be alright. Just save it for a couple months down the road.

    0|0
    0|0
    • She would dump me right away then.

    • Not necessarily. I've known guys who went to brothels and their girlfriends weren't thrilled with the idea but they didn't break up.

      Mind you they weren't together when the hooker was performing her duties. They got together a couple months later.

  • Don't tell her up front, but any girl you get serious with should know.

    0|0
    0|0
  • No, you can still have relationships. I lost my virginity to a hooker aged 16 and I've been with 40-something hookers since and have had girlfriend too. I would strongly suggest never mentioning it to any women you date though.

    0|2
    0|0
    • 40 something hookers?Yeah if he's been with NEARLY has much has you. Never mention this EVER. A lot of girls would run for the boarders , lol! If they don't...they are a trooper.

    • Show All
    • Im glad you understand that.
      On a different note,
      Did you hear about the 22 virgin that shot 6 people because he was frustrated that he was constantly rejected by women?
      Although your decisions are a bit taboo, at least you are not physically harming any one.
      So, yeah not the worse thing ever.

    • Yes. In fact I used to post on the same internet forum he did (although I actually stopped posting there before he started). I doubt a hooker would have saved him. From reading about him, he, like me and most guys who used to post on there, suffered more from a lack of validation and acceptance than sexual frustration.

  • Don't tell her? Everyone has done things in their past that they want to remain secret.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I never hooked up with any hooker.
    I can't even imagine that.
    But that's ok man I would say that dont reveals these things in front of ur date or gf.
    It will worsen ur relationship.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I generally get along better with hookers and strippers than normal chicks. They're not as naive and idealistic. They see things more as they are.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Don't be so harsh with yourself. You say you would not even want a girl who could be ok with this, but there are some loving, non-judgmental girls out there who would be okay with it and who'd be great girlfriends.

    My best female friend has a boyfriend who's been with hookers in the past. Naturally she wasn't thrilled when she found out about it, but she looked past it because he's a good guy now. It's not a problem in their relationship.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think that's all okay :) Hey, who cares? Some girls have fuckmates, occasional partners, etc. So what then? Nowadays these things are just normal. Sex is just an average biological necessity (unfortunately). So you don't need to tell it ever. It belongs only to you, like any private issue. Do you tell whether the product you push out at the toilet is big or small? No! So this is the same. You did it coz you wanted it. Your money, their vagina. And the business was made. So simple. :) Just like a random sex with a regular gal. Telling it to anyone does not lead anywhere, just to arguments and weird awkward moments. Probably you also wouldn't talk about the sex with your ex anyway, regardless she was a hooker or not.

    0|0
    0|0
  • "I slept with hookers, I can never have a deep meaningful relationship with a real girl right?"

    Wrong. You can have as many relationships, deep or not, as any other guy. The main difference, is that you have to decide to keep that secret with you, for life.

    And while some married couples will tell you that there's no secrets between them, they are either naive or wilfully lying to you. Everyone lies, everyone keeps at least some secrets.

    This will be yours.

    "I'm just wondering if a real, good girl would ever consider dating me if she learns about my past. I don't want to lie to her or trick her."

    Probably not, so don't do something stupid because you've got a Disney-fied version of what love is.

    1|0
    0|0
Loading...