How can I get a gf? Please help?

How can I get a gf? I'm shy when I'm around girls and I don't know how or when to ask them out.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Stop being shy.

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    • I know that but how?

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    • Oh fuck. Not you again. So today you do one pushup. Tomorrow you do two pushups. The next day do three pushups. Today you walk 1/4 mile. Your choices are to sit in your misery or get the hell out and change.

    • What r u talking about not me again? I'm new here

What Girls Said 9

  • My advice would be don't go out with the sole intention of 'getting a gf'. Try to begin making some female friends, this will help you learn to talk to women better and be more relaxed in their company. Once you're more confident with that then you'll find it a lot easier approaching other women. You may even find that one of those female friends becomes more in time. Don't look for a gf, look for good women in your life generally and a gf will be a natural progression :)

    Good luck!

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    • I'm sorry but I feel I'm not going to get anywhere unless I hit on women and let my intentions known and keep out of the friend zone

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    • I will. Thanks

    • What Are women really attracted to?

  • It's great to be yourself and to respect women, but please don't go and say that they are ''superior''... Women are equal to all men, not above them. I think that it's important that you focus on making the girl want you just as much as you want her. Sometimes, that may mean playing games. If the first thing you tell a girl is something along the lines of ''I'm in love with you'', you're going to SCARE her off. If the approach you've been using so far didn't work for you, than take it as an indication that it just may suck. Change your approach. Do some research. And finally, make female friends. Go to the gym, hang out with your friends who could easily introduce you to girls, that sort of thing. Don't just sit on the computer looking for the easy way to get girls, get out there !

    Good luck

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    • I can't talk to them like they're my buds. I want them to be my gf

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    • Well of course I'm looking for a lay too. It's been a year

    • Why can't I do both settings?

  • You need to get out of your comfort zone. It's going to be hard but you need to push yourself to talk to girls. Talking to girls is a skill and like other skills, you just need practice to get good at it. It'll be hard in the beginning but there more you do it, the easier it will become

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    • Can't I just talk to them like I would a guy? They're nobody special

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    • I'm not sure what you want me to say. You need to practice talking to girls. And you're asking how to talk to stuck up girls. Don't you find that a little ridiculous? You can't talk to girls and you're already labeling people as stuck up?

      I gave you my opinion. You can follow it or not.

    • Fit women are stuck up

  • Well have more self confidence that shows that you carry yourself better. Don't be shy to talk to girls compliment a girl here and there but don't be forward like others have said it might push girls back. Don't be awkward about it either.

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  • If you're just open and friendly then they'll want to talk to you and you can develop a relationship from there after getting to know each other more :) Trust me it's not that difficult to talk to girls after you get used to it and it's the same for girls talking to guys too :)

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    • They also want you to be thin. They don't want fat guys talking to them

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    • People are judgmental

    • Why it they've never had the chance of talking to me?

  • Just because someone doesn't like you doesn't mean they're racist.

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    • How do you not like someone if you don't even know the person?

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    • I see why you don't have a girlfriend.

    • Ok.. but there goes your theory I've dated many times this year and I was also engaged. Sorry to disprove your theory

  • Girls love it when you compliment them. But don't be too forward about it. But you can't be shy, shyness gets you nowhere

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    • I freeze when I'm around a girl I like. Women are superior to me.

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    • That's for sure. I worship the ground they walk on

    • best is to talk to them behind da screen. ask them for their emails so y'all can start texting. its less stressful behind da screen thats fasho.

  • 1. Don't be desperate

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What Guys Said 7

  • Getting a girlfriend is the culmination of a set of social skills (and the beginning of the need for another set of skills).

    Its just skills.

    You don't have them now, or aren't comfortable using them. Skills can be practiced.

    Start small, when you get comfortable, add more skills.

    Step 1: start saying 'Hi' to 5 strangers a day. Report back when you can do that without feeling too anxious. Doesn't have to be hot girls, just anyone, but don't avoid hot girls, treat em just like everyone else.

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    • I say hi to women and men all the time. That's my nature

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    • You mean you suck at small talk. There's a difference. And its not fake, its trivial. That's also a difference. But it's a relaxed opportunity to test for their interest in more in depth converstation. If they seem interested you move to more personal things. Hobbies, areas of interest, etc. If they're continuing to engage, or sharing, then you might move up to asking for a phone number or asking to meet up.

    • It's all about physical attraction

  • Improving your look would be a start. I don't mean anything drastic, just dressing nicer or trimming down extra fat (you don't even need to go to the gym to do this, just regular exercise and diet control). Basically make yourself look decent enough.

    Overcoming shyness takes a lot more effort but it's basically like Willow4 said. After that it's just your mind set. Stop looking at women like they are some sort of mysterious species, they are human just like you. They want to feel safe and a company that can make them feel relaxed. Some women actually find shy guys cute but they don't like people who are too tense just like you won't like people who make you feel anxious. It's one thing to look embarrassed, it's another thing to look stiff and fidgety. A smile can make a huge difference so remember to do it. Rejections happen all the time even to the best of us, so don't go approaching women fearing rejection, accept it as part of human interaction.

    When you talk to women don't forget to connect with them. No need to talk a lot but ask a lot of questions, people like to talk about themselves. Find common interest and ask them out, don't treat it as a date but rather just two people with the same hobby going out to have some fun. After that just go with the flow & spend some more time with her but don't be afraid to push on for a relationship.

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    • I have to flirt don't I?

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    • By touching it doesn't mean you touch her inappropriately. ANYONE can tap someone on the elbow lightly or brush a person's hand. You know like how sometimes when people talk to each other they would lightly touch the other person for a few seconds to get their attention? or when they're talking animatedly they'd sometimes involve the other person physically? these touches are subtle but will make a lasting impact.

      It's the same with flirting. Let's say when you're telling a funny story or teasing her, or if she has something on her hair/face you can brush it lightly AND nonchalantly, or how when she walks by your side you can place your hand on the middle of her back for a few seconds as if saying "let's go". These are just a few examples but it's basically stuffs that you can do as if it's a normal thing to do.

    • This attracting picky women seems to hard

  • -look good
    -smell good (very important)
    -build confidence. How?
    1. Know that you are a badass and girls are interested in you.
    2. Have mind set that your hot and girls know it. ( even if it's not true, thinking that will boost your confidence)
    3. When talking to a girl, make a lot of eye contact. This shows girls that you have a lot of confidence.
    4. Do use cheesy pick up lines or "game" on a girl. They've heard it all a million times. Just throw in some small flirty remarks into a convo and you'll be ok

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    • How do I know I'm a bad ass if none of that's true?

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    • So saying I'm a bad ass will help?

    • You know what just forget and the whole badass thing. Your over thinking it way to much. When you talk to a girl have confidence, and make them laugh. You should be fine if you do that.
      By the way if your looking for a girlfriend, don't pick the hottest chick just cuz she's hot. Yes it's cool to have a hot girlfriend but if she's a bitch with nothing in common it's pointless. Pick a girl that has some stuff and common as well as some differences (50/50)

  • You try and fail. Repeat that process over and over again until you find something that works. That's how every guy/girl on the planet has ever successfully sought out another person.

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  • 30 years old lol?

    Get in shape, get a better job. If your too lazy to do that then stop aiming so high and go for women in your same situation.

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  • thee is no shortcut, you have to sweat it out by yourself, that's what make you a man

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  • Try to be more open with them about your feelings..

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    • You mean my attraction to them? I thought us men had to keep our feelings inside

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    • I can't make that known in just one encounter

    • yes, it takes multiple encounter to make a connection but if you feel there is an instant connection you should let it out..

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