Whats the deal. Cannot attract the men I am attracted to either physically or mentally connected.?

Last time I checked, a pretty woman who handled her business (I.e. college educated, steady income, not on wellfare) was a GOOD thing? I have been single for awhile now. What is the deal with men who are...lets say, unattractive. ..way too old (>60+) or way too young (18-21) and who have no ambitions in life. .approaching me? I need some advice. I an smart and pretty and.successful. .so why are men who i have NO DESIRE IN approaching me? And how do i change it


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Generally speaking, I don't think there's a way to only interest people you're interested in. You're going to typically be attractive to most men to a larger or greater extent. Since less desirable men are perpetually single and have had to lower their standards, EVERY woman is going to attract a lot of duds relative to men she might actually want. So if you became a supermodel tomorrow (not saying you're unattractive at all, but assuming most of us are not in fat the hottest person in our city) you'd attract 20 times as many losers, but you'd also be pulling in more men you wanted as well.

    So forget about the guys you're not interested in. It's not a bad sign. In fact the more of them that approach, the closer you are to pulling in the men you're looking for.

    That said, as I recall you are skipping one of the main things that would make you attractive to some men (but not all). If you're not leveraging that aspect, you're really missing out on an opportunity to get the kind of guy you want.

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What Guys Said 8

  • Try chilling out a bit. Understandably you've got a lot of pride and ambition, but you come off as incredibly arrogant. If you talk to people in real life the way to talk to people in your comments on this question, I'm really not surprised no decent guy would go for you.

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    • I do not but let me put it this way. When I WAS SUBMISSIVE as a young teenager...woman...early twenties. EVERY man I loved beat me/hurt me/cheated on me. One even dumped me on the front lawn and discarded me to tell me that I deserved to sleep with his dogs. SO my dear...I have a LOT of uneasiness when it comes to trust in the opposite sex. My child's father willingly signed away his parental rights to his own child and every man I have ever committed to has cheated or left for someone who lives on wellfare or has no job. You can maybe understand the chip I have on my shoulder. No?

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    • I didn't say i was your superior. I appreciate your advice but i am working through my own issues. Is that not what this forum is for? Sheesh

    • No, you didn't say it, but you heavily imply it when you speak to people in such a condescending manner.

      You seem to have a handle on life despite a shitty past, so don't worry too much about the love life. You're very driven, a lot of guys find that intimidating. You're really not looking for an everyday sort of guy either, so it won't be easy to find any kind of match.

      Love comes to those who wait. Or so they say anyhow. Worked for me.

  • That is a good thing - to women. It's fine to be a successful woman, but if you want a real man you will have to take a backseat. Men feel emasculated if its the woman who is the worker of the relationship.

    I'd look for professional but part time jobs with your education.

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    • how will she support herself with a part time job?

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    • Sexualchrist - she's a dom. She's probably not looking for a guy who wants traditional gender roles. And while that may not be what you or I want, there are more sub men then dom women, so if she looks she should be able to find one who she's happy with, imho.

    • "constructive sexism" What ever that is...you sure don't have it. Maybe she should just quit working, buy an apron. Stay home cooking, cleaning, barefoot, pregnant. And waiting for her man to say "jump". After all that's what women are for right? To keep men happy. Idiot.

  • Probably nothing your doing wrong. It all comes down to chance.

    Keep on truckin' :)

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    • 'You give terrible advice. Please don't give any more.'>LOL

  • Lol, part of your problem might be right there. "cckymistress."

    But realistically, if you're looking in good places and are making an effort but can't get a date with a guy you like, then you either need to make yourself a more attractive prospect or lower your expectations.

    Though museums, book stores, and volunteer events sound like lousy places to go to find a date, lmao.

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    • I dont drink...not a fan of bars. I work out. .work..hang with my female friends and am a mother. Not a party girl any more. ..29 years old and that doesn't appeal to me anymore. Kinda rude aren't you

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    • Didn't say you are trying to hookup. And yep, I'm rude, but I give people honest advice, lol.

    • AndyWes, though I have appreciation for your opinion...it is not constructive. Meeting a man who has goals and ambition will not happen at a bar where men are often in a drunken stupor playing grab ass with their friends. Your age demographic (18-24) is exactly the age demographic which I am avoiding; but they seem to be fixated on trying to "bang" hot older moms. Anyway, as I said...THANKS for your opinion but it was not advice more so, condescending gook that implies to me that I must change myself in order to meet a man. I am physically appealing, successful, educated and smart...my dilemma is staying AWAY from the MILF chasers, mommas boys who live in their parents basements, etc. AND I do NOT walk up to men and say hey by the WAY I go by the Alias COCKY MISTRESS. It is an ALIAS for this website that embodies my sexual preference of being dominant. So unless you have something worthwhile to say, please drop the thread. I've no need for your immaturity.

  • Well I'm "too young" for you but I have ambitions in life.

    I wouldn't want you because you like that bondage stuff LOL!! That's just me though.

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  • Maybe because you are not hanging around the right places that have guys your age? There is no way that u should be having trouble finding a guy.

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    • I dont think community music festivals, museums, book stores, volunteer events etc are age specific. ..im just saying in a crowd...the overweight 50 year old or pre pubescent 21 year old who makes comments about his car rims are the ones who approach me. The "good guys" i dated...cheated with strippers or welfare.moms. Wtf

  • Maybe you should approach THEM. If you want someone you should take a shot. Live a little. Because tomorrow you might be dead!

    (yes i know that's a quote :P)

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  • That's pretty crazy as you seem to tick all the boxes, especially for me... and you look great in your profile picture! Where are you trying to meet blokes?

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What Girls Said 3

  • maybe its ur environment...if ur not around enough of the guys you want you'll be less likely to attract them

    and women with their shit together attract bums and undesirables because you're seen as a catch and a commodity and they want some

    however men care wayyy more about looks and are more likely to go for a bad bitch with a ged on food stamps than a cute less flashy girl who's got her shit together. u have to appeal to mens eye first. u might be pretty but if ur all covered up and a girl who is dressed a little sexier is around they're gonna pay more attention to her unless you look way better than her

    so I suggest u dress not slutty but a little sexier and put urself around the types of men u want. find out where they socialize at and party there

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    • Eh...i do dress sexy. Thanks for the advice but i am quite good at dressing with sex appeal. I dont need to put my ass cheeks/cleavage out to atrract who i want. I have before...that attracts a different kind of loser

  • I agree with conf2. Approaching them might work. I don't know to what kind of man you're attracted to, but if you're looking for shy guys, they most likely won't admit that they like you.
    Of course there is a chance they are not attracted to you, but everyone is dealing with that. There only has to be 1 man who is different than the others.

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    • I have approached men i am interested in. 98% of the time...they aren't interested back

    • Yeah, I know it's difficult. But don't ever give up hope.

  • Do you talk to people a lot and where do you meet them from? It could be the wrong time, wrong people and the wrong place.

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