Do I sounds crazy or am I just over reacting?

So this is a scenario that happens a few times a week and has been happening more and more often between my bf and I. Sometimes I feel like I must be crazy like do other girls act like this?

So basically my bf goes to give his friends a ride home from a party or concert/show what ever and he leaves its like really late as is. He's only going in town and his friends don't live that far away and then ends up gone an hour. So I'm like where you at? Still waiting or what ever the excuse is and then he ends up going inside looking for his friend because their phone always is dead! Then he's gone for a few hours. And then I get really really irritated and start hardcore bitching like last night I was like same excuses over and over again. I'm just like good lies though good lies. In the end he ends up apologizing and I feel like I'm being really over the top and then I also feel justified for my reaction.

I wrote a blog on this and went on a rampage so for my more in depth look

thebrutallyhonest. weebly. com
post is under blog and is from march

But what are your opinions?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds smothering to me. If I went to pick up some friends or just to do anything while I'm out, I can only estimate how long I'll be gone. And what usually seems to happen with all but the most routine of errands is that it takes longer than expected because something comes up. This happens a lot to me at work actually, when I estimate how long something will take but then it ends up taking the whole day when I thought it would only take an hour or two.

    But having a girl text or call me bitching about something that I couldn't foresee would become annoying very quickly (probably after the first time). If he's acting shady, that's one thing. But if he's drawn into helping a friend and circumstances make the situation more complicated than what he thought (friend's phone off, waiting around for them, miscommunication, etc.)...I wouldn't appreciate getting a shit storm from a girl as if I had any control over things going the way they did.

    I'd say to calm this stuff down. Nobody fantasizes about being bitched at so the only thing this will do is irritate and push him away.

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    • That's totally understandable. But like it happens all the time that's why I get so annoyed. We've been dating for 7 years pretty much and I do have trust issues because he did leave me for like a year and I fully never got my trust back in him. It's really a battle to trust when he broke up with me for another girl. And he's a really friendly person like everyone's friend and he has always got to help everyone like everyone. Friend needs a ride he's on it, friend needs a couch to sleep on he's on it, needs money he's on it etc. I really try really really really hard not to bitch and most of the time I say nothing but it's like it happens all the time I'm just like let me know and I won't get so mad because I worry that he's like drinking and driving etc.

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    • Yeah I could say I run scenarios in my head. I probably over think things but I'm always like thinking who's he with like is he actually there. I've told him how I feel like this is a conversation we have weekly and it doesn't seem unreasonable that I want him to be responsible and tell me. Like there has been a few nights too many lately that he doesn't come home til like 7 in the morning or he was supposed to just bring his friend home and then I wake up when the suns coming up like where is he and he ends up driving out of state to go skate spurt of the moment. I don't think I'm wrong for getting annoyed with that. I feel worried, and paranoid. I also feel like it's a huge thing to over come because I try by talking to him but I swear to god sorry and i understand only goes so far when it continues to happen. All I really want is a text just to give me a heads up so my mind doesn't wonder and I don't worry.

    • Well the parts about him just flying off and you don't know where he is, that's understandable. But you wanting to know not only where he is, but what he's up to...that's a bit much.

      And if you approach it the same way each time, whether out of fear or awkwardness...you're going to get the same result each time. It's going to take you braving up to have a mature talk about the things that you both are answerable to (like where you're at/warning you to not expect him home). But then from your side of things, you're not only going to have to look at what caused you to be so untrusting, but how to challenge yourself to get over it AND ACTUALLY FOLLOW THROUGH WITH THOSE CHALLENGES. That's the hard part, and the part where most people give up once they see the first sign of toughness.

What Guys Said 3

  • what is the point of getting so upset? like what is achieved?

    I think you need to work on controlling your anger. Blowing up typically resolves little. If you really want to have a productive conversation that may lead to some change you have to be able to collect your thoughts into a cohesive, calm, rational statement that you can relate to him.

    yes I think you are overreacting. no that your bf should be excused but yelling, screaming and "b*tching" rarely achieves anything

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    • I don't yell and scream. My point is this happens like all the time a few times a week. I don't feel like I'm over reacting I feel like he should be more responsible and just give me a heads up if its going to be a while.

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    • I've been to counseling for all of this. I doubt he would ever go for couples therapy he would probably think its a joke.

    • well it sounds like he needs to join you. you going to therapy is fine but it sounds like there is a lot of things that you two need to talk about that a therapist could really help mediate. like helping you get your perspective across to him and him being in a situation to hopefully listen better

  • Sounds like trust and control issues. You know your relationship better than anyone else, but as a guy I would feel smothered in that scenario. It wouldn't surprise me if he was lying just to hang out with his friends and there was nothing more to it.

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  • Do yoga do muay-thai and concentrate on these sports etc.. you will have the peace friend

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