Does confidence and personality even really matter?

I'm 24 now and as usual I'm alone on my birthday. I don't try to be social anymore so I don't have any friends but even when I gave it my all I was always the accepted one not really part of the group.

Needless to say I have never had a girlfriend or even a date.

I will be done with college soon and I wonder if I might have a chance with women if I was confident again to show my true personality.

I'm just not sure if it will change anything. I'm tall but a bit chubby ( not at all obese or sth like that) and I've never been one to attract women.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Just get money, there is no other way.

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    • I studied English haha

What Girls Said 7

  • Without personality and confidence you're essentially a corpse...and not many people are into corpses.

    Happy birthday though.

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  • Happy Birthday to you~♪♪♫

    The good thing about being a guy is that it isn't so much about looks, but personality is always important.
    That being said, and this is the hard part, don't think too much. Don't over-think your flaws, don't care too much about what other people think, don't be too self-conscious.
    I guess some people will say this is confidence, but not really. It's just that you gain nothing by trying to please everyone.
    You can think about a gf when you actually find someone you like, no? =P

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    • I meet many girls I like. They just don't like me back :(

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    • I'm really ugly. I was always bullied in high school. There is just no chance these women like me. I'm 30 pounds overweight

    • Teens are pretty mean to each other for very small even imaginary reasons. Doesn't really count.
      I know big guys who are popular bears and actually just admitting you aren't the most handsome guy in the block might just lift a weight off your shoulders.
      All should be fine if you don't only fall for girls who care a lot about looks.

  • You need a good friend! You have to take the initiative to go out there and be friendly and take personal interest in other people. When you start to be really good, close friends with a guy, then you can both encourage each other during your problems and help each other have confidence. Do your guy stuff of course lol, video games what not lol. Then when you start to feel better about yourself, you'll have more confidence to talk to women and eventually form a close bond with a sweet caring girl.

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  • Yep that matters :) no worry you will find awesome girlfriends, just be yourself, and meet new people

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    • I'm pretty ugly :(

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    • Yeah...that never happens

    • maybe maybe not :) anyhow, good luck! don't forget to be yourself

  • Yes! Personality and confidence plays a massive role! Just be yourself! :)

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  • Yes it Def matters

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  • You pretty much just described me at 24. I went through a period where i just got really depressed because i felt like, no-one got me and no-one really liked me. Insecurity really just made me hide, and let me tell you, isolating yourself does nothing for your self-esteem.

    But i got out of it. It wasn't overnight, but i kind of figured that this was my life. I needed to take ownership of it. I started to do what i wanted to do. I tried lots of different activities, from sports to music to anime. Anything that i thought could be interesting i tried, and i stuck with the ones i really enjoyed. I basically started to think of myself first. Not what other people wanted to do/talk about etc, but what i found interesting. That sounds weird, but it really changed things for me.

    Confidence isn't that fake it till you make it line everyone always says, where you pretend to be someone else until the lie fools even you. It's about figuring out who you actually are, and not apologizing for it.
    I for example love Iggy Azalea. If Fancy starts playing on the radio i'm going to turn that sh*t up and start singing. If my boyfriend is rolling his eyes and trying to change the station, too bad. Cause he may not like it, but i do and i am not letting something that brings me extreme joy go, just cause he doesn't agree.

    Sorry if this is quite long, but the thing to remember is to be you for you. Give you your all. Confidence happens when you are genuinely having a good time and want to share that with others.

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    • To actually answer your question, yes confidence is attractive. Girls appreciate a guy who knows who he is and what he wants.

What Guys Said 5

  • All you have to do is talk to women and ask them out on a regular basis and one of them will eventually say "Yes". The key is putting yourself out there at all which many guys do not.

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    • I don't think that would work. All the girls at my school are so hot!

    • It does work regardless of whether you think it does or not. Assuming you have reasonable standards for yourself.

  • Personality matters. Confidence doesn't.

    Reputation does though. If you're not known by others don't expect recognition from others.

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  • 1. get money
    2. learn PUA
    3. attain inner confidence
    4. win all the sex :)

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  • Confidence and personality ONLY MATTERS when the woman FINDS YOU ATTRACTIVE. I can't believe that the female users who answered this question left that out. Yes confidence and personality matters , but only if you have the LOOKS.

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    • That's what I feel like is true. It doesn't matter how confident I am if she is not attracted to me physically it changes nada

  • yes it can make a huge difference and make you appear more attractive...if you're already good looking.

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    • I 'm not goid looking at all

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